First, you lied. There were so hot and heavy times in the graveyards with Angel. You can't even tell us not to get our heads out of the gutter cause you were so there.
Second, all of this is like... the huge big angsty porno of your life. Like we all needed to know all of it.
Third, you and Spike tore down a HOUSE? Whaaat? When? And where? Wouldn't that have like -- been on the news or something?
Fourth, not discussing the Giles thing. I can't. Bringing it up in your sexy times monologue is so...
Fifth, what? When my brain is damaged with words you say, I work better in lists.
Sixth, if you're kissing and having fire sex with Pyro, you're so not a nun. Not even kind of a nun. Not even in the realm of a nunnery. But how did he use manipulating fire during sex. That's making my brain go 'huh?'.
Hot heavy but not sex hot and heavy. We saved that for when it would really do the most damage.
Hello? Can you say big fat curse? I can't stop talking about it.
It was abandoned. Sunnydale PD probably thought kids on PCP knocked it down. It wasn't long after I came back. Think about this, Dawn. It was Sunnydale. Do they ever report anything but the weather?
And how do you think I feel? If I'd stayed away from Angel maybe Giles would still be here. Just like if I'd stayed away from him, Miss Calender would still be here.
I thought the entire castle knew about Satsu.
Again! Curse! Also I pledged nunhood AFTER Pyro. And that was metaphorical as in the guy who can manipulate fire has hot sex.
You really never had sex in a cemetery with as many dead guys as you've been with and as many times you've been in a cemetery?
Well... mute yourself!
Truth. But how did the two of you knock down the house anyway? I mean sex is more of a... I don't know. Maybe you should make diagrams.
I quit on this topic. No talking about Giles!
Satsu? When did I mention her? Since I witnessed that I've been trying to bleach that part out of my brain. I was just stating that lists work best when you damage my brain with your words. This whole tirade has damaged my brain. Maybe it's YOU who still has Satsu on the brain, which you should promptly inform Pyro of. No leading him on.
So you and Pyro aren't doing the horizontal tango anymore? There's no more Pyro sexy times? I swear, I can't keep up with your boyfriends.
Well with Spike but not with Angel. There was a bed and everything.
My wardrobe for an actual mute button.
It was more vertical than horizontal and there was a lot of punching and throwing each other across the room. Along with other things that you don't need to know about. [Because she was so much older than Dawn at the time. Well she was, but not in an age way.]
Fine. I'm okay with that kind of quitting.
There was brain damage! I thought that was what it was and there is no thing for Satsu. I'm not sure there ever was besides the whole comfort thing. it was a phase! Also, no need to inform Pyro. We're just friends now.
No horizontal or vertical tango going on. No tango of any kind. It was a curse. He's a friend who I sometimes have coffee with and invite to your birthday parties.
A bed in the cemetery? Wow. Was that supposed to be romantic or something?
Really? Cause I bet I could find some duct tape around here really quick. I could also commandeer your device.
Punching? He beat you? [It's obvious that she's not happy about that prospect. Nobody punches her sister... well... they do but not in the sexcapades kind of way.]
Thank god you're over that phase. But I am a little curious, was it really that hot? The girl on girl action? And how did it compare to being with the male of the species.
That's too bad. He was cute. If I weren't insanely happy with Aya, I might flirt with him.
You had sex in a crypt. Granted, it was pimped out evil lair but still -- crypt. You should put that on your porn-tastic resume.
If you're giving me permission, I am SO doing this like ASAP.
Buffy! That is so messed up! Really? Next time I see Spike I'm gonna punch him and see how he likes it. You shouldn't go around letting yourself be hit, even I know that.
Interesting??? You describe lesbian sex as interesting? God, I hope nobody ever describes being with me that way. What a downer. I kind of feel sorry for her now.
Ah ha! There is still something there. See how I totally tricked you into that? I'm all stealthy -- but with words.
I totally think you should do it! That way if you get with Pyro again or any other guy you can just hand him a slip of paper and make him sign at the bottom so he knows everything before you even get into it.
Shush! I'm looking for duct tape.
Slayers like being beat up on? Really? Cause I read some of the Slayer Handbook back when Giles had one and I don't remember seeing a chapter on letting yourself be abused.
I get that it's not your thing but how would you feel if say... Spike said "Sex with Buffy... it was... interesting." Except he'd probably slip the word bollocks in there somewhere -- and possibly shag.
The City isn't telling you to do anything anymore and you obviously still have a thing. Maybe he still has a thing too. And if you both still have a thing then that can be a big middle finger to the City.
[This is the sound of her facepalming] I would be grateful if he didn't share details.
I don't know if he still has a thing or not. We've had...sort of dates twice...three times if you count your birthday--that weren't City mandated so...clearly my relationship ability is broken and I should stay on the nun train.
No but this would be like a print out or -- oh! I could have City Solutions design you a little pad like thing that the Fed Ex guys have to carry and they could read and sign and it would all be electronic. It's like a porn story with innovation. Pornivation.
Pink duct tape? Whatever. It's always silver. I'll put stickers on it and stuff to dress it up and make it all girly.
Complicated. I so don't get it. And I'm still hitting Spike if I ever see him again. Someone has to stand up for you if you're not gonna do it.
Aya thinks I'm more than just interesting. So I win. [And she's beaming a smile here.]
Or you should do to Pyro what you did to get Angel, Riley and Spike to fall for you and then get all bow-chicka-bow-wow in the bed with him. Sexy Buffy times without the getting beat up part would be fun times! And -- gross -- but fun too.
Let's just leave it at letting them discover these things about me for themselves.
If you insist.
You do realize I hit Spike back, probably more than he ever hit me, right?
...please don't tell me you and Aya are having sex. It may force me to go give him multiple boxes of condoms.
I just...did the Buffy thing. Except I'm not sure what that is. And again, I repeat, Buffy plus relationships--not the best thing that ever happened. You were there when I nearly destroyed the world. Twice. [Okay technically she wasn't there the first time and technically it wasn't the world, the first time, just Sunnydale but it felt like the world at the time.]
That's because my imagination is so much better that it gobbles up your imagination for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a late night snack. Oh, and desserts for all three of the main meals of the day.
Also, I think I win on everything because I'm me, my points are valid and your arguments suck monkey parts.
Second, all of this is like... the huge big angsty porno of your life. Like we all needed to know all of it.
Third, you and Spike tore down a HOUSE? Whaaat? When? And where? Wouldn't that have like -- been on the news or something?
Fourth, not discussing the Giles thing. I can't. Bringing it up in your sexy times monologue is so...
Fifth, what? When my brain is damaged with words you say, I work better in lists.
Sixth, if you're kissing and having fire sex with Pyro, you're so not a nun. Not even kind of a nun. Not even in the realm of a nunnery. But how did he use manipulating fire during sex. That's making my brain go 'huh?'.
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Hello? Can you say big fat curse? I can't stop talking about it.
It was abandoned. Sunnydale PD probably thought kids on PCP knocked it down. It wasn't long after I came back. Think about this, Dawn. It was Sunnydale. Do they ever report anything but the weather?
And how do you think I feel? If I'd stayed away from Angel maybe Giles would still be here. Just like if I'd stayed away from him, Miss Calender would still be here.
I thought the entire castle knew about Satsu.
Again! Curse! Also I pledged nunhood AFTER Pyro. And that was metaphorical as in the guy who can manipulate fire has hot sex.
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Well... mute yourself!
Truth. But how did the two of you knock down the house anyway? I mean sex is more of a... I don't know. Maybe you should make diagrams.
I quit on this topic. No talking about Giles!
Satsu? When did I mention her? Since I witnessed that I've been trying to bleach that part out of my brain. I was just stating that lists work best when you damage my brain with your words. This whole tirade has damaged my brain. Maybe it's YOU who still has Satsu on the brain, which you should promptly inform Pyro of. No leading him on.
So you and Pyro aren't doing the horizontal tango anymore? There's no more Pyro sexy times? I swear, I can't keep up with your boyfriends.
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My wardrobe for an actual mute button.
It was more vertical than horizontal and there was a lot of punching and throwing each other across the room. Along with other things that you don't need to know about. [Because she was so much older than Dawn at the time. Well she was, but not in an age way.]
Fine. I'm okay with that kind of quitting.
There was brain damage! I thought that was what it was and there is no thing for Satsu. I'm not sure there ever was besides the whole comfort thing. it was a phase! Also, no need to inform Pyro. We're just friends now.
No horizontal or vertical tango going on. No tango of any kind. It was a curse. He's a friend who I sometimes have coffee with and invite to your birthday parties.
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Really? Cause I bet I could find some duct tape around here really quick. I could also commandeer your device.
Punching? He beat you? [It's obvious that she's not happy about that prospect. Nobody punches her sister... well... they do but not in the sexcapades kind of way.]
Thank god you're over that phase. But I am a little curious, was it really that hot? The girl on girl action? And how did it compare to being with the male of the species.
That's too bad. He was cute. If I weren't insanely happy with Aya, I might flirt with him.
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Thinking that might be a good idea at this point.
It was a slayer/vampire thing.
It was...interesting. Not really my thing. I like the boys.
Hey, no discounting him. He's still cute and I like having coffee with him.
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If you're giving me permission, I am SO doing this like ASAP.
Buffy! That is so messed up! Really? Next time I see Spike I'm gonna punch him and see how he likes it. You shouldn't go around letting yourself be hit, even I know that.
Interesting??? You describe lesbian sex as interesting? God, I hope nobody ever describes being with me that way. What a downer. I kind of feel sorry for her now.
Ah ha! There is still something there. See how I totally tricked you into that? I'm all stealthy -- but with words.
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Wait a minute...you're way too happy about this.
Dawn, it's kind of a slayer thing. Besides, I can hit back. Twice as hard.
It wasn't like that! I said it was amazing in the moment. It's just not my thing. It was experimental and a phase.
So stealthy. Also you listened to my ramble. Of course there's still something there but I'm not going to date a guy because the City says I should.
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Shush! I'm looking for duct tape.
Slayers like being beat up on? Really? Cause I read some of the Slayer Handbook back when Giles had one and I don't remember seeing a chapter on letting yourself be abused.
I get that it's not your thing but how would you feel if say... Spike said "Sex with Buffy... it was... interesting." Except he'd probably slip the word bollocks in there somewhere -- and possibly shag.
The City isn't telling you to do anything anymore and you obviously still have a thing. Maybe he still has a thing too. And if you both still have a thing then that can be a big middle finger to the City.
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Something in pink.
No it's not--It was also a 'not in--'complicated.
[This is the sound of her facepalming] I would be grateful if he didn't share details.
I don't know if he still has a thing or not. We've had...sort of dates twice...three times if you count your birthday--that weren't City mandated so...clearly my relationship ability is broken and I should stay on the nun train.
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Pink duct tape? Whatever. It's always silver. I'll put stickers on it and stuff to dress it up and make it all girly.
Complicated. I so don't get it. And I'm still hitting Spike if I ever see him again. Someone has to stand up for you if you're not gonna do it.
Aya thinks I'm more than just interesting. So I win. [And she's beaming a smile here.]
Or you should do to Pyro what you did to get Angel, Riley and Spike to fall for you and then get all bow-chicka-bow-wow in the bed with him. Sexy Buffy times without the getting beat up part would be fun times! And -- gross -- but fun too.
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If you insist.
You do realize I hit Spike back, probably more than he ever hit me, right?
...please don't tell me you and Aya are having sex. It may force me to go give him multiple boxes of condoms.
I just...did the Buffy thing. Except I'm not sure what that is. And again, I repeat, Buffy plus relationships--not the best thing that ever happened. You were there when I nearly destroyed the world. Twice. [Okay technically she wasn't there the first time and technically it wasn't the world, the first time, just Sunnydale but it felt like the world at the time.]
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Oh come on, you know you want me to end your pain.
That doesn't matter. He hit you. Is it okay for Aya to hit me as long as I hit him back?
I'm working on it.
Pyro's not dead, there's that. If you get with him you won't have corpse love.
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Yeah when you find a way to rewind everything I just said, my pain will end
You're not a slayer.
It wasn't corpse love!
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Also, I think I win on everything because I'm me, my points are valid and your arguments suck monkey parts.
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