21st Slay [Video] Ain't gonna go to work no more.

[whattingawhat]

[There's a very up close shot of Buffy's face. It pulls out to show a punching bag that's been broken off it's chain. The target on the wall has a cluster of throwing knives at the bulls eye. The training dummy is more splinters than training dummy. Someone has been venting rage and pain. She's never killed a human before. She's killed vampires,

Comments

[Action]

[a_bad_guy]

[Okay so Eliot might not be the most tuned in guy in the world but he knows this isn't good. And he knows he should say something but... what do you say to someone who's quit when he himself doesn't know the definition of quit. It's not that it isn't understandable, it's just not something he knows how to be a good boyfriend about. It's out of his range of anything he's ever dealt with before.

So anyway he'd been at the arena between fights when he saw the network post and then decided to blow off the rest and head over to the warehouse. He ended up outside of her window, taping lightly on the glass.]

Rocky?

Re: [Action]

[whattingawhat]

[It's not about that. This is about having everything Buffy believes she is completely shredded. She killed a human. Something she judged Faith for so harshly. Something she watched destroy Faith and something she had never done before. She looks up at him, opens the window and gives him a brief smile.]

Hey, Sugar Ray.

[Action]

[a_bad_guy]

[He leans in to give her a brief kiss. It wasn't a full on kiss cause he was still covered in dirt and grime and blood from the arena fights. See? He is a good boyfriend... kind of.]

Got me all worried about you.

Re: [Action]

[whattingawhat]

[He does pretty good.]

I'm okay. [It's that false, chipper voice that the Buffy Bot seems stuck with.] You can use my shower if you want. [Her motives could be selfish. Snuggling is good]

[Action]

[a_bad_guy]

You gonna lie to me like that? I see how it is...

[But he does easily spring his feet up onto the window sill and climb into her room. Cause he knows he's filthy and he wouldn't turn down holding her cause... well even when she's all fucked up in the head Buffy is still hot. Plus, dammit, he cares.]

Re: [Action]

[whattingawhat]

It's not--[She stops because it is lying.] I'll talk. After you're cleaned up. [She heads toward the bathroom attached to her room and grabs a towel out of the little linen cabinet there then levers herself up onto the sink to sit while he takes a shower.]

[Action]

[a_bad_guy]

Fair enough. Sorry I'm a mess.

[He follows her to the bathroom and considers for a moment working her up so she'll get in the shower with him. But he finally decides that now is not the time for him to try to come on to her. She's all mopey and sad. Girls thought differently than guys, they couldn't just turn that off and he'd had enough experience with that to keep his distance. He stripped, turned the warm water on and stepped into the shower.]

Re: [Action]

[whattingawhat]

[Buffy shakes her head at his apology] I don't mind the mess. I just want you to be holding me with less of the blood.

[Action]

[a_bad_guy]

[He makes sure to scrub then, cause some of the blood had soaked through his clothes. He's okay with that, but he knows it isn't conducive to holding her. In retrospect he should have thought of that before heading straight over here. But Eliot sometimes jumped in head first into things, especially when it came to people he cared about whether friend or more.

He finally finishes his shower, wrings the water out of his hair and then grabs a towel to wrap around his waist before stepping out into the bathroom. He walks over to Buffy and settles facing her against the counter. He wraps his arms around her and leans in to press his lips to hers.]

Re: [Action]

[whattingawhat]

[The jumping head first into things is appreciated. Really. She's quiet while he showers, one knee pulled up to her chest and her chin on top of her knee. When he gets out she straightens her leg again so they're both hanging over the edge of the counter. Her arms slip around his waist and she relaxes into the kiss.]

Mmmhm. Good surprise.

[She lays her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat and feeling him breath against her.]

[Action]

[a_bad_guy]

[His arms around her, he rubs his hands up and down her back and then kisses the top of her head. After that he rests his chin over the top of her head and studies himself and her back in the mirror in silence for a few minutes of silence before he speaks up finally.]

So talk to me. What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours?

Re: [Action]

[whattingawhat]

[Buffy takes a deep breath, holding it as she lets her fingertips play over the scars scattered across Eliot's skin. She lets her breath out in a whoosh when her chest starts to burn. When her words finally come they're hushed and very heavy. It's possible her words are too quiet to hear. She's used to talking to vampires who will hear her no matter how quietly she whispers]

I killed people. Ordinary people and it's not fair. They couldn't have won. No matter how hard they tried. Stacky odds and all that.

[Action]

[a_bad_guy]

[Well that catches him off guard. Strangely, his moral compass had already allowed him to put that out of his mind. Eliot wasn't one to dwell on things he couldn't change. But he could understand the thought process of someone with a better moral compass than his. He got that this bothered her a lot. His hands continue to run smoothly up and down her back.]

It was a curse, Rocky. Can't exactly be in control of those.

Re: [Action]

[whattingawhat]

[Buffy shrugs at that. She doesn't do well with the things she can't control.]

It was a curse but I was still me and I should have been able to do something else. Anything else except what I did.

[Action]

[a_bad_guy]

[He knows all about the aversion to a lack of control. Eliot can completely empathize with that. But he also knows that it's not good to let those things that are out of control continue to control him in the decisions he makes.]

Lots of should have's in life, Buffy. You stayed alive, which is more than I can say for myself.

[Cause eventually he had indeed fallen, not without a hell of a fight though.]

You were tossed into an arena with people attacking you just like we all were. What were you gonna do, just take it? That's not you, Buffy. That's not many people. It's instinct to defend yourself.

Re: [Action]

[whattingawhat]

[Yeah she's trying to deal with the guilt of that too. Or rather she's trying to push it down underneath guilt for the whole killing people guilt]

Defend. Different word from kill.