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Private; expectremorse June 7 2011, 14:54:10 UTC
[Those expressions. He is suddenly very guarded. Then-weakly]

That bad.

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Private; whattheytellyou June 7 2011, 15:00:29 UTC
[She winces when he responds. She didn't expect him to do so.]

Yes.

...Hoffman, do you...

[Long pause.]

You promised me. Whatever else. You promised, if I can make progress with her.

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Private; expectremorse June 7 2011, 17:09:51 UTC
[Deadly serious. Dangerously serious.]

Do what?

[He breathes deep]

I don't intend to break my word to you.

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Private; whattheytellyou June 7 2011, 17:18:32 UTC
[She nods.]

Okay.

[And pause, and she resumes tapping the pen. Stops.]

I have to be willing to accept the things you did if I can accept the things she did. You're both equally as capable of rehabilitating. Of-

[Frown.]

Do you regret any of it?

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Private; expectremorse June 7 2011, 17:30:57 UTC
[He takes a moment to consider his options. On the one hand-there was nothing that Amanda could really say or do. she had become annoying and he refused to acknowledge that on the other...

Her tone reminds him of Stephanie. Something. No one is going to help you. He had enjoyed talking to her and he had enjoyed being able to laugh and forget for half a heartbeat what he had done.

and why would you want to forget in the first place? That little voice. That little grim voice who insisted that he was the best.

That little voice that had taken David and convinced him to act on his impulses. He needed to strike out to protect himself because...

Do you want to protect yourself Mark?

For a moment he was back in the dark screaming for someone to let him out. And all of the voices, Amanda, John, Rigg, Kerry, and Angelina were asking him questions in his fevered mind.

Or do you want people to know that they have to fear you?]

[Once upon a time he would have said no. He didn't regret a goddamn thing. He still thinks no. ( ... )

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Private; whattheytellyou June 7 2011, 17:41:00 UTC
[She inhales deeply, frowning, closes her eyes for a moment. Finally, she looks directly at him. She's angry, but keeping calm.]

I want you to understand how hard it was for me to watch you destroy those lives. You killed mercilessly and cruelly. Both of you. And I watched every second. I saw the looks on your faces while you did it.

And there are a lot of names I could be calling you right now.

[Pause.]

But I don't quit, and I don't run. I'm not going to turn on Amanda, and I'm not going to turn on you. I care enough about-

[She falters, debating how appropriate it is to say that.]

I care enough about you, Mark, that I'll accept any answer you give me.

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Private; expectremorse June 7 2011, 17:59:56 UTC
[Mistrust wells in his chest. John told me to.

The response is quick and sudden in his mind and suddenly he's right. John told him to. John made him watch and made him believe and...and... It was John's fault!

And Seth?

What about Seth Mark? Seth Baxter.

His throat constricts.]

I was punished!

I was fucking punished! I had- [he gestures to his scar] half my fucking face ripped off! Then- and I don't know if you saw it. I don't honestly care. I was locked in the fucking dark for two months! Two months! Do you know what happens when you're alone in the dark for two months and all you have to eat and drink are rotting corpses and to-

I'm a survivor and I did what I had to do to survive!

[But you were the one, who kidnapped the man, who did that to you. At John's behest.]

[to himself] I make one mistake. One big mistake after everything. The one thing that shouldn't have been a mistake-that was the right thing to do and I get to spend eternity paying for it ( ... )

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Private; whattheytellyou June 7 2011, 18:15:27 UTC
[She doesn't even flinch when he raises his voice; she watches him calmly until he's finished.

Then taps the pen again, bites her bottom lip, and looks away. Debating.]

[Finally, she snorts humorlessly.]

I really don't have any right to be angry with you. I was aware of the things you did; seeing them shouldn't change anything. But god damn it, Hoffman, yesterday I was flirting with you.

[She makes a noise of disgust.]

I don't know what to make of you. I think...what you went through was fitting. Those last two months. You go right on ahead and disagree and scream and hate me for saying so, but you deserved some taste of what you did. You deserved that.

[Pause.]

I also think you deserve to be here.

[She looks back at him, studying him.]

Not because you're a criminal, but because you deserve a second chance. If you're smart, you'll stop worrying about Amanda and start worrying about taking advantage of this opportunity you've been given.

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Private; expectremorse June 7 2011, 18:55:54 UTC
[all he can do is digest what she said. Flirting. She said that and he had started to actually care because...it was nice to have someone care and...]

[He wipes the shock from his face and attempts an air of nonchalance that...fails abysmally. His mouth twists-but he doesn't meet her gaze in the slightest. A child, caught doing something wrong.]

...hope you learned from that.

[He tries to console himself with thoughts that David cares. And he does care because he can give the boy what he needs and the boy will be there to help him. All other feelings aside.

He doesn't need them. Any of them. She has amanda to worry about. David is his. He can throw him away at any time. Yes.]

Amanda.

Everybody cares about Amanda. John cared about Amanda. Jill cared about Amanda. You care about...Amanda. Poor pathetic Amanda. I wonder what her secret is? Fuck if...

People are willing to kill for her, people are willing to die for her-hell I want her to graduate so I can see just what a paragon of virtue she'll end up being. [ ( ... )

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Private; whattheytellyou June 7 2011, 19:07:39 UTC
[She lets him rant at her. Waiting, thinking, then, finally, matter-of-factly:]

I care.

[A beat.]

I have to be careful about the things I say, because I don't want her blinding me or killing me or, god help me, doing any number of things I know she's capable of doing. I'm putting my neck on the line saying any of this - and going against my better judgment, because I shouldn't care. You're not my inmate.

You are a murdering, lying, conniving monster. Or you're that attractive, brilliant person I met during the flood. Or both. Or neither. I don't know.

But I care about you. I want to see you succeed, Mark. I want to see you rehabilitate and stay as a warden and live up to all your wasted potential.

Entirely independent of Amanda.

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Private; expectremorse June 7 2011, 19:17:47 UTC
[He looks wounded. Genuinely hurt and genuinely wounded before his expression hardens and he forces a smile to his face.]

I'd suggest thinking the former. The latter will most likely get you killed and I don't-

[flat] I don't want that.

[quickly] You're going to get her the hell out of here and keep her the hell away from me and in return I'm going to keep away from her.

[He leans back and tries-once again-to collect his emotions. When he looks back at the camera his expression is cool and calm and all of the things she probably saw in the movies.]

I'll ask my warden for the films. Apparently they're a hit.

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Re: Private; whattheytellyou June 7 2011, 19:21:03 UTC
[She doesn't like that look, and it shows.]

You do that.

Whatever it is I think of you, I'll come to that conclusion independently, thank you.

And keep it to myself; I think I made a fool of myself enough yesterday.

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Private; expectremorse June 7 2011, 19:24:15 UTC
[beat]

You do that. I've already come to quite a few conclusions myself.

You-

You just remember that-

Just remember it.

Even if it's just to remind you not to be dumb in the future.

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Private; whattheytellyou June 7 2011, 19:36:19 UTC
I'm interested to know what your conclusions are.

[Frowning.]

You seem to have a knack for being completely wrong.

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Private; expectremorse June 7 2011, 19:44:41 UTC
No.

[he looks tired.]

No. Not right now. I made my promise and we agreed to it and right now I am being the adult in the situation and going away.

...I can't respond until I know just what exactly these filmmakers said. You're absolutely right after all. I have a knack for being wrong.

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Private; whattheytellyou June 7 2011, 19:48:12 UTC
Good call.

[A beat.]

She can only talk. Just words, like I said. This is going to help her, Mark.

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