Written - Late-Night Musings
You know, I'm used to keeping a journal. Even if it was only a few lines written about my observations from the day, even if only to refer to a certain page in my field notebook, I wrote in one daily before I went to sleep.
When I first came aboard, I tried to keep up with that here - not on the network, obviously - but you can only write the same routine down so many times before you start to worry that you might be slipping. Or that you might not be able to return to your life as you knew it once all is said and done. I guess that's why some people might opt out of remembering this place. It changes you, to have these memories.
I don't know that I want to be anyone other than who I was before. I'm more aggressive than I was. I don't sleep as well. I'm more prone to questionable or dangerous behavior. I think about my research - I think about Seronera and Princeton and Ian and it all seems so distant, like it all happened to someone else.
And I've stopped keeping my journal up-to-date.
I don't think the Barge has changed me for the better. Or maybe it's my own fault and has absolutely nothing to do with the Barge. Maybe I need time to find myself again, which is a pretty difficult undertaking, if you think about it. It's hard to be alone here.
When I first came aboard, I tried to keep up with that here - not on the network, obviously - but you can only write the same routine down so many times before you start to worry that you might be slipping. Or that you might not be able to return to your life as you knew it once all is said and done. I guess that's why some people might opt out of remembering this place. It changes you, to have these memories.
I don't know that I want to be anyone other than who I was before. I'm more aggressive than I was. I don't sleep as well. I'm more prone to questionable or dangerous behavior. I think about my research - I think about Seronera and Princeton and Ian and it all seems so distant, like it all happened to someone else.
And I've stopped keeping my journal up-to-date.
I don't think the Barge has changed me for the better. Or maybe it's my own fault and has absolutely nothing to do with the Barge. Maybe I need time to find myself again, which is a pretty difficult undertaking, if you think about it. It's hard to be alone here.