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[Filtered to all Females of the Barge, but away from Martha.]
[Sarah's looking much more herself lately. Might have something to do with the fact that Hoffman's in a coma, but who's to say, really? Of course, this also means she's feeling proactive and pushy again, and has decided to meddle:]
I have this friend. When my inmate landed me in the infirmary, she sat with me and held my hand and told me this really absurd story about William Shakespeare. All that even though I accused her... [Faltering:] ...boyfriend of kidnapping and a whole slew of pretty horrible things -
[A beat.]
Though in retrospect, I guess he's only guilty of being a filthy cheat at cards.
[Someone's very sore about Parker's poker nights and all the cheating that goes on there. Someone also very much dislikes Snape. Her eyes narrow and she frowns for a moment, but moves on.]
A month ago, she apparently did something stupid, and yesterday, she apologized. For not telling people she got married. That's lousy. That's really lousy. Hey, remember when she announced she was engaged? I'm going to tell you what I told her: if people responded that way to me, I'd keep it a secret, too.
So look, I probably don't have the whole story, and I'm not going to sit here and quibble over whether she should have done it. I personally think the whole situation is dumb, I think her husband's an ass. I think a lot of things. But it's not my life. She's never done me wrong - I don't think she's ever said an unkind word to me, to tell the truth.
[She waves her hands, as though dismissing all of the above. That isn't what she's on the network for.]
This is an open invitation to all females who don't have issues with Martha's little gambling problem: come to the pub tonight and help me get her blisteringly, stumblingly, stupid drunk. If she's got to be married to that jackass, she deserves a bachelorette party.
If you do have a problem, you're still invited. Leave the baggage at the door, though.
Cissie, Molly, Hayley, Parker? I'm looking at you for help, ladies. Don't bother with cake unless it has booze in the middle.
[Filtered to the male wardens and inmates:]
I'm commandeering the pub this evening for a girls' night. No men allowed.
We're armed with nail polish, red lipstick, pink hair dye, liquor, and every other gender-specific stereotype you can come up with. You have been warned.
[Sarah's looking much more herself lately. Might have something to do with the fact that Hoffman's in a coma, but who's to say, really? Of course, this also means she's feeling proactive and pushy again, and has decided to meddle:]
I have this friend. When my inmate landed me in the infirmary, she sat with me and held my hand and told me this really absurd story about William Shakespeare. All that even though I accused her... [Faltering:] ...boyfriend of kidnapping and a whole slew of pretty horrible things -
[A beat.]
Though in retrospect, I guess he's only guilty of being a filthy cheat at cards.
[Someone's very sore about Parker's poker nights and all the cheating that goes on there. Someone also very much dislikes Snape. Her eyes narrow and she frowns for a moment, but moves on.]
A month ago, she apparently did something stupid, and yesterday, she apologized. For not telling people she got married. That's lousy. That's really lousy. Hey, remember when she announced she was engaged? I'm going to tell you what I told her: if people responded that way to me, I'd keep it a secret, too.
So look, I probably don't have the whole story, and I'm not going to sit here and quibble over whether she should have done it. I personally think the whole situation is dumb, I think her husband's an ass. I think a lot of things. But it's not my life. She's never done me wrong - I don't think she's ever said an unkind word to me, to tell the truth.
[She waves her hands, as though dismissing all of the above. That isn't what she's on the network for.]
This is an open invitation to all females who don't have issues with Martha's little gambling problem: come to the pub tonight and help me get her blisteringly, stumblingly, stupid drunk. If she's got to be married to that jackass, she deserves a bachelorette party.
If you do have a problem, you're still invited. Leave the baggage at the door, though.
Cissie, Molly, Hayley, Parker? I'm looking at you for help, ladies. Don't bother with cake unless it has booze in the middle.
[Filtered to the male wardens and inmates:]
I'm commandeering the pub this evening for a girls' night. No men allowed.
We're armed with nail polish, red lipstick, pink hair dye, liquor, and every other gender-specific stereotype you can come up with. You have been warned.