Can you find last night for me.. repeat what he said to me.. smell his breath on my neck...
I am tired of making excuses for myself... i make excuses for the fact that i have a problem..
i have made the decision to let my problem rule me.. it owns me completely.. and instead i should own my problem.
This morning i had an epic panic attack.. like the worse one in a while.. I felt it coming on all week.. but it was so bad.. i balled up on my bed and could not move.. my heart was beating a thousand beats per minute and was hurting so bad.. i wanted to stop but i couldn't.
I tried all my old tricks and they didn't work.. well i couldn't do it anymore.. I felt so helpless and out of control.
So I was thinking later.. that ( as i am writing this ps.. i am having strong waves of anxiety) I just have to decide to not let my problem rule me.. it makes me someone i don't want to be.. and someone i don't know.
it isn't the medicine that does it.. its the problem itself. Having anxiety is all about mind over matter.. and i can completely handle that.
I hate being out of control.. so why do i thrive on letting myself get to that point?
I am gonna work out tmrw morning before class.. that is the beginning of my changing.
I'm tired of being all talk..
all i have to do tmrw is get up and run.. that is all that is important.. and I'll go from there..
Much <3 and Goodnight
i have made the decision to let my problem rule me.. it owns me completely.. and instead i should own my problem.
This morning i had an epic panic attack.. like the worse one in a while.. I felt it coming on all week.. but it was so bad.. i balled up on my bed and could not move.. my heart was beating a thousand beats per minute and was hurting so bad.. i wanted to stop but i couldn't.
I tried all my old tricks and they didn't work.. well i couldn't do it anymore.. I felt so helpless and out of control.
So I was thinking later.. that ( as i am writing this ps.. i am having strong waves of anxiety) I just have to decide to not let my problem rule me.. it makes me someone i don't want to be.. and someone i don't know.
it isn't the medicine that does it.. its the problem itself. Having anxiety is all about mind over matter.. and i can completely handle that.
I hate being out of control.. so why do i thrive on letting myself get to that point?
I am gonna work out tmrw morning before class.. that is the beginning of my changing.
I'm tired of being all talk..
all i have to do tmrw is get up and run.. that is all that is important.. and I'll go from there..
Much <3 and Goodnight