(no subject)
Dijnn (12:32:21 PM): I know -_- If you make so much money why don't you come see me?! >:E
urgency of life (12:32:32 PM): saving it.
Dijnn (12:32:47 PM): You stupid responsible loser.
urgency of life (12:34:38 PM): I know.
urgency of life (12:34:39 PM): You love it.
Dijnn (12:35:31 PM): Yeah, but I want to see you sometime too I guess I should try to do something before I get a job cause I'm gonna be stuck here for a few years once I start police work.
urgency of life (12:35:54 PM): It's okay. We have all the time in the world.
Dijnn (12:36:31 PM): Yeah, it sure as hell feels like it's been all the time in the world too, we've known each other for like, 6 years or something now.
urgency of life (12:36:45 PM): I know. You'd think we would have met by now.. ;P
Dijnn (12:37:06 PM): Yeah, I guess there's still time and stuff
urgency of life (12:40:36 PM): what's wrong?
Dijnn (12:44:53 PM): I dunno. It's hard to explain, you know, feelings and all that crap. I don't think I ever got over you. It's like I like you, but I can't do anything about it. So I've been sitting here thinking, "Man, I like her a lot.", but that's about all I can do, y'know?
urgency of life (12:51:46 PM): I don't know what to do about it, either.
Dijnn (12:52:17 PM): Yeah, it kinda sucks and stuff.
urgency of life (12:54:18 PM): I just wish we weren't so apart.
urgency of life (12:55:18 PM): i need to goooo. XD
Dijnn (12:55:29 PM): All right, I'll talk to you later
so i go through my old logs, and i find this.
he would have done anything to be with me again.
but i was afraid of getting hurt, and losing my friend.
he wanted to come see me soooooo many times.
but i told him no.
why?
because i'm a fucking coward.
and now what do i have to show for it?
he's dead, and i never got to tell him anything.
he's gone, and i have no way of letting him know that i cared about him so much.
he was there for me when so many people weren't.
when so many people were to engrossed in their own problems.
he was there.
but where was i when he needed me?
no where.
NO WHERE.
here.
whining about how no one loved me, when he was right there, maybe not TELLING me, but he was SHOWING me, every time we talked on the phone, or he IM'd me, just to let me know that he was around, and thinking of me.
why am i such a shitty human being?