(no subject)
i had a dream last night that i was talking to dustin about all the reasons i missed him, and wished we could be together again, and for some reason, none of this moved him enough to take me back; then i called lori and basically. don't remember talking to her, but i know i did.
i've said this so many times before, but i think i need to say it once more.
i have this deathly fear that i will never ever get over my ex(s). i have this fear that i will never be left alone; that i'll always be haunted by the 'what could have beens' and the 'what should have beens.'
i've got all these questions about why things are happening this way, and how it will affect me in the grand scheme of things. a lot of people have been telling me to go out to shows, and try to meet people, but fuck that. the scene i'm escaping from dc is basically the same scene they want me to jump into. like jumping face first into a pool with no water in it.
i need to stop being so cynical.
maybe i will stop, when the world stops sucking.
(heh.)
i've said this so many times before, but i think i need to say it once more.
i have this deathly fear that i will never ever get over my ex(s). i have this fear that i will never be left alone; that i'll always be haunted by the 'what could have beens' and the 'what should have beens.'
i've got all these questions about why things are happening this way, and how it will affect me in the grand scheme of things. a lot of people have been telling me to go out to shows, and try to meet people, but fuck that. the scene i'm escaping from dc is basically the same scene they want me to jump into. like jumping face first into a pool with no water in it.
i need to stop being so cynical.
maybe i will stop, when the world stops sucking.
(heh.)