Everything on the Surface of my conciousness...
I think one of my favourite things in the world is getting back pictures. I mean...isnt it the best feeling? Looking back at the memories and remembering all thoses good times that otherwise you would have forgotten? Dont get me wrong though, they can also be really depressing. Almost every time that i get back pictures, i start to cry inside. Those times are never gonna happen again...they're in the past, all thats left are words and memories.
hmm well im not in that mood at all nemore...i dont get why my sisters are the most spoiledest (i dont think thats a word) selfish people on earth, they dont care one bit about another person and no matter what i try to say/do for them they dont care at all.
EXAMPLE: Just now my mom asked me to take the garbage out, i told her it was Arielles job and that i refuse to do it AGAIN. He has fucking Gymnastics tonight so shes exhaused (as she is everyweek after gym) which gives her surprising permission to neglect everything and dump it all on none other than me.
My perfect picture siblingry is Dara and Michael. They get along sooo well, Michael spent most of saturday evening making a singular glove for Dara, how sweet is that. They get along so well, they never fight, I FUCKING LOVE THEM! Now can someone please explain to me why MY family cannot be like this???????
I know this isnt so bad...i mean in comparioson to all of the people living on the streets, people who go to bed hungry, children working in sweat shops, some of you know, all the stuff we talked about during MC this weekend...im not used to that though, so this is my life and what pisses me off.
COMPLETLY DIFFERENT TOPICS:
Today at lunch i went to get my pics developed and it once again reminded me how impatient i am... i wish i could drive soo badly its not even funny. I hate waiting on people like the cashier when i really need to go. Im all antsy(right word?) all the time. Everything lately makes me feel so unforfilled like theres something i need to do but really their isnt. JEZUS. I cant wait till winter... Im pretty sure that i can take out all of my impatientness on the hill while im snowboarding. My goal is to be amazing by the end of the winter, and im gonna work sooo hard to acheive that. That along with my guitar playing. I guess school work to but thats a nessesay thing. i honestly dont undestand how my averages have dropped like 20- 30 percent in everything. I need to make that better, nothing who i am right now is really me. I still miss the old me and im gonna dig hard to find it. This is going on way to long and it makes no sense nemore. I will nend right abouuutttt.....now.