(no subject)
im not allowed to see saradi.
doing everything to fit a strict schedule that obeys my need to go to school and go to recording and go home is like, being a trained space monkey. going throughout my life aimlessly fullfilling all my daily objectives because i dont really have a choice, or i dont have anything else to do, and thats just what im doing. and i dont know why. like a space monkey. and thats probably what it will be like for the rest of my life, because thats what happens. every day, ill pull a button. ill push a lever. i never ever know why. but i just do it, and do it and do it, and then eventually i just die.
theres no more band with john and ryan and mike, because john and ryan quit.
i cant ever win. with anything. everything is my fault.
doing everything to fit a strict schedule that obeys my need to go to school and go to recording and go home is like, being a trained space monkey. going throughout my life aimlessly fullfilling all my daily objectives because i dont really have a choice, or i dont have anything else to do, and thats just what im doing. and i dont know why. like a space monkey. and thats probably what it will be like for the rest of my life, because thats what happens. every day, ill pull a button. ill push a lever. i never ever know why. but i just do it, and do it and do it, and then eventually i just die.
theres no more band with john and ryan and mike, because john and ryan quit.
i cant ever win. with anything. everything is my fault.