The Bungalow Mystery
Nancy ruthlessly stalks this book's Character in Need, a poor, defensless orphan, and Evil Road Signs are always hindering our characters by warning them of Impending Doom. This makes Nancy PMS a lot.
"The Pinecrest Motel, where the eighteen-year-old girl and her older friend were staying, was almost two miles away on the smaller of the two lakes." (page 1)
Oh, so it's going to be one of those types of books...
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"Helen noticed finally that Nancy's breathing ahosed the great strain on her. "Save yourself,' she begged. 'Go on to shore without me.'
'Never!' said Nancy, as a huge wave bore down upon the two girls, smothering them in its impact." (page 7)
Geez! Less than ten pages into the book, and Nancy Drew is already in a life threatening situation? I guess Caroline Keene's publishers told her she needed to spice it up a bit.
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"... Nancy was not easily discouraged, and she knew that it was imperative for the girls to get warm. Her father, a well-known lawyer, had trained her to be self-reliant." (page 13)
Because lawyers often find themselves alone in the wilderness, having to rely on their own wit and strength to survive.
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"'I'm sure that the owner of this bungalow will forgive us for going in,' Nancy said." (page 13)
Oh, don't count on it, Nancy. Prepare to be sued.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Under the circumstances,' (Laura) said, 'I doubt that the owner of this place would object if we made something warm to drink.'" (page 14)
Nancy: "And I'm sure that they won't mind of we use their furniture for firewood! It is imperative for us to get warm!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"... Laura added, 'I knew I had to save whoever was crying for help on the lake today. I love to walk in a storm.'" (page 16)
Laura: "Yup, I've basically got a death wish. Last time there was a storm as bad as this one, lightning hit a tree only three feet away frome me! How exhilerating!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"When they reached the Pinecrest Motel, the two girls went at once to talk to Mr. Franklin, the manager. They told him about the sunken motorboat, expressing extreme regret, and assured him that their parents would pay for the craft." (page 18)
Nancy: "We are rich, after all!"
Helen: "I'm supposed to be in my twenties, but there's no reason that I can't stll act like a teenager and make my parents pay for everything!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Don't worry about that,' the manager said. 'We have insurance which takes care of such accidents.'" (page 18)
Manager: "That $1,000 deposit, however... you can forget about ever getting that back."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"... The woman said bluntly, 'Is there anyone here who can change a tire for me? I just had a flat half a mile away.'
'I'm afraid not,' Mr. Franklin apologized. 'I'm busy in the office and most of the help are off this evening.'
'That's great!' the woman said angrily. 'What am I supposed to do- walk to the Montewago Hotel? I'm late already!'
Although Nancy thought the stranded motorist was being extremely rude, she, nevertheless, suggested that the woman telephone a nearby service station." (page 19)
WTF? Is it a sin now to express frustration at having to walk half a mile in a thunderstorm only to find out that you either have to walk who-knows-how-many miles to your hotel, or stay at some other random motel without any of your stuff? I suppose if that happened to Nancy, she'd be taking the whole thing with a cheeful smile. *gag*
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Suddenly Nancy smiled. 'I'm starved.' She asked Laura to have a second breakfast with her and Helen in the motel restaurant.
'And afterward,' Helen went on, 'let's ask Marty Malone- the girl we met yesterday, Nancy- to make a foursome
ACK!
in tennis.'" (page 23)
Phew.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Returning to the car, she told Helen what she had learned. 'Just for fun let's go out to the bungalow now.'" (page 27)
Nancy: "Let's go trespass some more. Just for fun!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"A quarter of a mile farther on Nancy saw an obstruction in the read and brought the convertable to a halt. A huge sign read:
DETOUR. BRIDGE OUT. TAKE MELROSE LAKE ROAD. An arrow pointed to the left.
'Just when I'm in a hurry!' Nancy fumed, knowing she would have to go miles out of her way before reaching the River Heights road." (page 37)
So let me get this straight. The woman at the hotel had no right to be annoyed about the fact that she had just walked half a mile in the pouring rain only to find no one would help her, but it's perfectly okay for Nancy to fume about having to go a few miles out of her way in a warm, dry car? She is so bipolar.
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"'Where is Mrs. Gleason's sister?' she asked.
Hannah said that the woman had left a short while before, after hearing that Nancy would be home before suppertime. (page 45)
Hey, I don't blame her. I know I'd leave too if I heard Nancy Drew would be stopping by.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Oh posh!' said Hannah. She blushed and gave Nancy a loving glance." (page 46)
These two should start planning their wedding. Right now. Seriously.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Mr. Drew was awake also. Nancy could hear the buzz of his electric razor!" (page 51)
*snort* That is so 30's. I'm surprised they didn't call it his *newfangled*, *exciting* electric razor, and then make a big point of going to the drive-in movie theater to see The Wizard of Oz.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"... (Nancy) hurried to pick up the receiver of the hall phone.
A low-pitched, feminine voice said tersely, 'Nancy? Nancy Drew?'
'Yes. This is Nancy speaking.'
As she held on, waiting for the caller's identification, she heard sounds of a scuffle on the other end of the receiver. This was followed by a cry of pain and a loud crash!
... 'Who was it?' Mr. Drew asked, coming into the hall.
Nancy told him what had occurred.
'You didn't recognize the voice?' he remarked.
'No, so I can't call back. Oh dear, someone is in trouble, I just know it. And here I stand helpless to do a thing! It's maddening!'
'It certainly is,' her father said. 'Well, dear, I must run down to the office.' Presently he left the house." (page 56-57)
Mr. Drew: "Ho-hum. Mysterious phone calls... people in danger... no biggie."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"After seeing that Hannah ws comfortable, Nancy went to her bedroom and thoughtfully opened the closet door.
'This is as good a day as any to start Dad's investigation,' she thought. (page 58)
Nancy: "It's not like anything really important or upsetting just happened, or that I have anything more important to do..."
Seriously though, does Nancy not consider this whole 'desperate phone call from an unknown woman' unusual in the least? What happened to "Here I stand helpless to do a thing! It's maddening!"? Maybe she has such a short attention span that she's forgotten it happened already.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nancy took our a two-piece navy-blue dress which made her look older than her eighteen years.
Excuse me, Ms. Keene?
Next, she found a pair of comfortable low-heeled pumps.
Carolyn? Carolyn Keene? Hello?
For several minutes Nancy experimented with various hair styles.
Um, hello? Hello? Hellooo...
She finally chose a simple off-the-face arrangement.
...
Nancy put on tiny pearl earrrings, dusted her nose lightly with powder, and finally added a dash of lipstick." (page 58)
Ms. Keene? Oh good, you're back. We lost you there for a second.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
(of Mrs. Farley) "'If I'm a judge of human nature,' thought Nancy, 'that woman never did a mean thing in her life!' (page 60)
But I think we can all agree that you're not, Nancy. In your mind, pretty = nice, remember? Good thing you didn't check her closet. That's where she keeps the bodies...
And speaking of doing nice things, what is Nancy going to do with the check Mrs. Farley gave her? She doesn't really work at a youth center, that was just her cover story so she could stick her nose into the lives of little old ladies. She'll probably buy more "two-piece navy-blue dresses that make her look older than her eighteen years".
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Cathy, does Mr. Aborn own a foreign make of car?' Nancy queried. (page 67)
Nancy: "Is he a Godless, foreign Communist?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nancy Drew, dog tender! This was a new title, the young detective thought." (page 72)
Oh, just wait till book ten and Togo, the Destructive Stalking Dog. That'll be loads of fun...
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"Nancy drove away, but told herself they would bear further investigation. It seemed unnatural that they would not have told what parts they were playing." (page 75)
Oh yeah, I know I always tell my landlords every little detail about me. I'm convinced that they're really interested, too.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"When the plan was explained, Laura said, 'Oh, but I don't want to take your date away from you.'
'Don and I have already arranged everything,' Nancy assured her." (page 86)
Nancy: "You only have to have sex with him a couple of times... it's not big deal, really."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'I wonder if that's where Mr. Aborn went and why?' they young detective asked herself." (page 93)
... Woah. Is that actually supposed to mean something?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nancy's eyes searched the ground for footprints. Directly ahead, in the soft earth, she saw the fresh mark of a man's shoe. Instantly her suspicions were confirmed.
Jacob Aborn had come this way! (page 93)
Okay, it's when she's making conclusions like this that I begin to suspect she solved all those cases because of sheer dumb luck.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"After brushing her hair until it snapped with electricity, she was ready for supper." (page 103)
Narrator: "... and for the emergency room..."
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"Nerby diners regared the lone girl with interest, for the prospect of the daring adventure had brought a becoming flush to her cheeks." (page 103)
The restaurant was full of pedophiles, apparently.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'(Mr. Aborn) has such a violent temper,' Nancy realized." (page 107)
Yeah, kind of like you, Nancy, when you realize that the bridge is out...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Well, here comes Nancy Drew, housebreaker and spy!' Nancy thought with amused determination." (page 112)
And it only took her three books to finally admit it!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"As she gazed anxiously into his face, Nancy wondered how she could have mistaken him for Jacob Aborn. Although the two men were of the same age and had similar facial characteristics, the prisoner was gaunt and thin. His features, contrary to Mr. Aborn's, were gentle and relaxed." (page 119)
So basically what you're saying is he's pretty even when he's emaciated. Nancy's nothing if not predictable.
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"When the padlock finally snapped open Nancy's spirits soared. Now the suitcase of securities that Stumpy Dowd had packed could be retrieved." (page 122)
That is the second completely nonsensical sentence in this book. I wonder if this is a sign that Nancy is slowly going insane.
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"Meanwhile, neither Nancy nor Mr. Aborn had noticed a dark figure creeping slowly down the steps. Near and nearer the man came, a stout cane gripped tightly in his right hand." (page 122)
Narrator: "Little did they know that they were moments away from being assaulted by Gregory House."
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"Before Nancy could turn, the end of the cane crashed dwon on her head. With a low moan of pain, she sagged to the floor and lay still." (page 123)
Nancy Drew IS Dana Scully!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'If I can only remember the correct position,' Nancy prayed fervently." (page 125)
And this, boys and girls, is an example of sexual problems young people had in the 30's. (Sorry. Couldn't resist.)
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"'I presume she left the jewels behind,' (Dowd) added. 'But we'll get them before we leave this area!'
'Don't try anything foolish,' Nancy warned." (page 127)
So she's trying to *help* the criminals now? I've given up trying to make sense of this.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'... I sold (Mr. Aborn's) blue sedan this morning. The money helped to pay for my new foreign car.'
Dowd: "And my induction fee to the Evil Foreign Commie Club."
Jacob Aborn was so furious he almost choked." (page 127)
Aborn: "Foreign?! You Godless Communist!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Tut, tut, none of that!' Dowd said. 'You'll get your blood pressure up.'" (page 127)
Dowd: "Take two hundred lead-coated Asprin and call me in the morning."
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"Back in River Heights, meanwhile, Hannah Gruen had spent a restless and worried evening, expecting to hear Nancy's convertible pull into the driveway at any moment." (page 131)
So now she's worried about Nancy coming home? Between Hannah and "Mrs. Gleason's sister" from page 45, I'm starting to think that everyone hates Nancy or something...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Oh, hello, Laura,' (Hannah) said, and turned to greet Don Cameron.' (page 131)
Don: "Um, actually, I'm Don, ma'am."
Hannah: "Whatever!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Probably Nancy decided to stay overnight at the Beach Cliff Hotel,' Laura said at once. 'Have you called there to find out?'
'No, because Nancy always calls when she changes her plans.'" (page 132)
Hannah: "So I've been waiting here worrying for hours and hours, but I haven't made any effort at all to find her because I'm sure that if Nancy was kidnapped or killed or taken hostage, she would have called me to tell me all about it. You know, so I wouldn't be worried."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'I don't like the sound of this at all,' (Mr. Drew) said. 'I had no idea that Nancy was planning to sleuth in Mr. Aborn's house at night.'" (page 133)
Mr. Drew: "Though truth be told, I'm not really surprised."
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"'It would be just like Nancy to follow up a good clue,' (Mr. Drew) said, 'particularly if she thinks there is something odd about the shack. She never gives up until she figures out the solution to whatever the problem is.'" (page 133)
Mr. Drew: "Sometimes she'll even invent a problem, just so she can find a solution. It's such a healthy hobby!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"As if to offset this alarming possibility, the ropes around Nancy's hands suddenly pulled free." (page 139)
Narrator: "They wanted to be as far away from her as possible."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"(Nancy) got out of the car, lifted the hood, and flashed her light inside. She had taken a course in automobile mechanics and knew the possible sources of trouble." (page 143)
Whah...? Oh, come on! Can't you please, please, admit that there are at least a few things that Nancy can't do?
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"As she knelt down, the kindly woman said she was a registered nurse. After a brief examination of the patient she reported that Mr. Aborn appeared to be suffering from malnutrition and shock." (page 148)
Because you really need to be a professional to diagnose those conditions. Riiight...
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"Carson Drew leaped the steps and gave his daughter a resounding kiss." (page 151)
Why do all of their scenes together remind me of trashy romance novels?
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"Mr. Drew had also seen a small red light a few hundred feet distant. He slowed up. Ahead was a gate obstruction across the highway. On it was nailed a sign which read:
ROAD UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Travel at your own risk" (page 157)
Oooh, watch. Nancy's gonna go postal any minute now...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Could anyone inside the house make a getaway by boat?' Don asked." (page 159)
... Not unless the bathtub overflows.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Let's circle the house,' said Carson Drew, and suggested that he take the left half of the circle while Nancy and Don took the right. They would meet back at this same spot in a few minutes.
'Be careful now,' he warned the young people.
'You too, Dad,' Nancy said." (page 160)
Nancy: "Yeah, because if something bad happens to you, you know I'm totally going to put my little mystery above your safety. Remember last book?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"At the same moment Nancy caught sight of a huge black-and-white checkerboard sign at the side of the road. A bad curve ahead!" (page 164)
Holy crap. Road signs just have it in for these people, don't they?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"As (Nancy) and her companions watched, the foreign car shot off the edge of the road and plunged down a steep cliff!" (page 165)
Nancy: "Meh. Saves 'em from being interrogated by McCarthy."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"(Nancy) also notice gasoline spilling from a hole in the tank. Vaguely she thought of fire and an explosion.
Nancy Drew: Girl detective and closet pyromaniac.
'Hurry!' she urged. (page 167)
Nancy: "C'mon, you guys, get over here and look at this car go 'splodey! It's gonna be so cool!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Nancy!' Carson Drew cried, white-faced and horror-stricken. 'Are you mad? Those suitcases aren't worth your life!" (page 168)
Carson Drew: "Unless there's Cuban cigars in 'em. In that case, sacrifice yourself, sweetheart!"
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"At that moment they all heard the low whine of an ambulance alarm. This was followed by a police siren." (page 169)
Ambulance alarm: "I don't wanna go save people! I'm ti-ired! I wanna go home!"
Police Siren: "I told you to shut up! You're gonna make the fire trucks think we're wimps!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'When we heard it was a black foreign car, we were suspicious immediately,' (Lieutenant Gill) said." (page 169)
Lieutenant Gill: "Racial profiling is what I live for!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nancy, quickly brushing her moist eyes dry with the backs of her hands, turned toward the east. She observed that a beautiful sunrise was beginning to flood the sky with brilliant color." (page 171)
Narrator: "She then observed that she had stepped in a large pile of dull brown dog crap, and had soiled her size five women's shoe."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"The bag was jammed with feminine clothing. There were several dresses, a large make-up kit, pieces of lingerie, shoes, and several wigs- a gray one, a black hairpiece, and one which was decidedly auburn.
'That clinches it, Dad!" Nancy exclaimed. "Mrs. Dowd must have gone around in disguise to cash the bonds." (page 172)
Yeah, okay, I can see that. With the dress and wig she could have been a housewife, with the make-up she could have been a clown, and with the lingerie she could have been a five-dollar hooker.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Lieutenant Gill opened the second suitcase. It contained men's clothing and toilet articles.
'Nancy, you risked your life for this!' Don exclaimed." (page 172)
Don: "Come on, you can by condoms at any drug store in the country!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nancy smiled. 'These bags may have false bottoms!'
Lieutenant Gill said, 'Why, of course. I should have thought of that.'" (page 173)
But you didn't, because... you're not Nancy Drew. Get used to it.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'How's your head, Dad?' Nancy asked.
Carson Drew: "In the gutter, as usual."
'Sound as ever!' Carson Drew said, grinning. 'I don't even have a bump.'
'Then we have a date,' Nancy told him, waving a note.
Nancy: "How does the nightclub show "Four girls, three costumes" sound to you?"
'This was at the desk. I picked it up. The clerk said Jim Donnell left it a little while ago.'
'The date's with him?' Mr. Drew asked.
'No. Laura Pendleton.'" (page 174)
Nancy: "I'm getting tired of threesomes with two men. It's just too dominating for me. You know I like to be in charge."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"As (Nancy) parked, the front door was opened by a woman of about forty-five. Her pretty face showed humor, kindess, and intelligence." (page 175)
Narrator: "Nancy considered hereself good at reading faces. She thought the whole world would be a lot simpler of everyone else realized that pretty = good and ugly = bad."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"As (Nancy) said this, she looked up to see Laura standing before her. In the girl's hand was the beautiful aquamarine ring Nancy had admired earlier in the week.
'I'd like you to wear this,' Laura said shyly, 'as a reminder that our friendship began on the water.'" (page 180)
Laura: "And my guardians will be happy to announce the engagement any day now!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
And in the end, Laura went on to start a third-rate university in Rutherford, Ohio. Don went on to become a policeman in said town.
"The Pinecrest Motel, where the eighteen-year-old girl and her older friend were staying, was almost two miles away on the smaller of the two lakes." (page 1)
Oh, so it's going to be one of those types of books...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Helen noticed finally that Nancy's breathing ahosed the great strain on her. "Save yourself,' she begged. 'Go on to shore without me.'
'Never!' said Nancy, as a huge wave bore down upon the two girls, smothering them in its impact." (page 7)
Geez! Less than ten pages into the book, and Nancy Drew is already in a life threatening situation? I guess Caroline Keene's publishers told her she needed to spice it up a bit.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"... Nancy was not easily discouraged, and she knew that it was imperative for the girls to get warm. Her father, a well-known lawyer, had trained her to be self-reliant." (page 13)
Because lawyers often find themselves alone in the wilderness, having to rely on their own wit and strength to survive.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'I'm sure that the owner of this bungalow will forgive us for going in,' Nancy said." (page 13)
Oh, don't count on it, Nancy. Prepare to be sued.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Under the circumstances,' (Laura) said, 'I doubt that the owner of this place would object if we made something warm to drink.'" (page 14)
Nancy: "And I'm sure that they won't mind of we use their furniture for firewood! It is imperative for us to get warm!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"... Laura added, 'I knew I had to save whoever was crying for help on the lake today. I love to walk in a storm.'" (page 16)
Laura: "Yup, I've basically got a death wish. Last time there was a storm as bad as this one, lightning hit a tree only three feet away frome me! How exhilerating!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"When they reached the Pinecrest Motel, the two girls went at once to talk to Mr. Franklin, the manager. They told him about the sunken motorboat, expressing extreme regret, and assured him that their parents would pay for the craft." (page 18)
Nancy: "We are rich, after all!"
Helen: "I'm supposed to be in my twenties, but there's no reason that I can't stll act like a teenager and make my parents pay for everything!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Don't worry about that,' the manager said. 'We have insurance which takes care of such accidents.'" (page 18)
Manager: "That $1,000 deposit, however... you can forget about ever getting that back."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"... The woman said bluntly, 'Is there anyone here who can change a tire for me? I just had a flat half a mile away.'
'I'm afraid not,' Mr. Franklin apologized. 'I'm busy in the office and most of the help are off this evening.'
'That's great!' the woman said angrily. 'What am I supposed to do- walk to the Montewago Hotel? I'm late already!'
Although Nancy thought the stranded motorist was being extremely rude, she, nevertheless, suggested that the woman telephone a nearby service station." (page 19)
WTF? Is it a sin now to express frustration at having to walk half a mile in a thunderstorm only to find out that you either have to walk who-knows-how-many miles to your hotel, or stay at some other random motel without any of your stuff? I suppose if that happened to Nancy, she'd be taking the whole thing with a cheeful smile. *gag*
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Suddenly Nancy smiled. 'I'm starved.' She asked Laura to have a second breakfast with her and Helen in the motel restaurant.
'And afterward,' Helen went on, 'let's ask Marty Malone- the girl we met yesterday, Nancy- to make a foursome
ACK!
in tennis.'" (page 23)
Phew.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Returning to the car, she told Helen what she had learned. 'Just for fun let's go out to the bungalow now.'" (page 27)
Nancy: "Let's go trespass some more. Just for fun!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"A quarter of a mile farther on Nancy saw an obstruction in the read and brought the convertable to a halt. A huge sign read:
DETOUR. BRIDGE OUT. TAKE MELROSE LAKE ROAD. An arrow pointed to the left.
'Just when I'm in a hurry!' Nancy fumed, knowing she would have to go miles out of her way before reaching the River Heights road." (page 37)
So let me get this straight. The woman at the hotel had no right to be annoyed about the fact that she had just walked half a mile in the pouring rain only to find no one would help her, but it's perfectly okay for Nancy to fume about having to go a few miles out of her way in a warm, dry car? She is so bipolar.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Where is Mrs. Gleason's sister?' she asked.
Hannah said that the woman had left a short while before, after hearing that Nancy would be home before suppertime. (page 45)
Hey, I don't blame her. I know I'd leave too if I heard Nancy Drew would be stopping by.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Oh posh!' said Hannah. She blushed and gave Nancy a loving glance." (page 46)
These two should start planning their wedding. Right now. Seriously.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Mr. Drew was awake also. Nancy could hear the buzz of his electric razor!" (page 51)
*snort* That is so 30's. I'm surprised they didn't call it his *newfangled*, *exciting* electric razor, and then make a big point of going to the drive-in movie theater to see The Wizard of Oz.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"... (Nancy) hurried to pick up the receiver of the hall phone.
A low-pitched, feminine voice said tersely, 'Nancy? Nancy Drew?'
'Yes. This is Nancy speaking.'
As she held on, waiting for the caller's identification, she heard sounds of a scuffle on the other end of the receiver. This was followed by a cry of pain and a loud crash!
... 'Who was it?' Mr. Drew asked, coming into the hall.
Nancy told him what had occurred.
'You didn't recognize the voice?' he remarked.
'No, so I can't call back. Oh dear, someone is in trouble, I just know it. And here I stand helpless to do a thing! It's maddening!'
'It certainly is,' her father said. 'Well, dear, I must run down to the office.' Presently he left the house." (page 56-57)
Mr. Drew: "Ho-hum. Mysterious phone calls... people in danger... no biggie."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"After seeing that Hannah ws comfortable, Nancy went to her bedroom and thoughtfully opened the closet door.
'This is as good a day as any to start Dad's investigation,' she thought. (page 58)
Nancy: "It's not like anything really important or upsetting just happened, or that I have anything more important to do..."
Seriously though, does Nancy not consider this whole 'desperate phone call from an unknown woman' unusual in the least? What happened to "Here I stand helpless to do a thing! It's maddening!"? Maybe she has such a short attention span that she's forgotten it happened already.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nancy took our a two-piece navy-blue dress which made her look older than her eighteen years.
Excuse me, Ms. Keene?
Next, she found a pair of comfortable low-heeled pumps.
Carolyn? Carolyn Keene? Hello?
For several minutes Nancy experimented with various hair styles.
Um, hello? Hello? Hellooo...
She finally chose a simple off-the-face arrangement.
...
Nancy put on tiny pearl earrrings, dusted her nose lightly with powder, and finally added a dash of lipstick." (page 58)
Ms. Keene? Oh good, you're back. We lost you there for a second.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
(of Mrs. Farley) "'If I'm a judge of human nature,' thought Nancy, 'that woman never did a mean thing in her life!' (page 60)
But I think we can all agree that you're not, Nancy. In your mind, pretty = nice, remember? Good thing you didn't check her closet. That's where she keeps the bodies...
And speaking of doing nice things, what is Nancy going to do with the check Mrs. Farley gave her? She doesn't really work at a youth center, that was just her cover story so she could stick her nose into the lives of little old ladies. She'll probably buy more "two-piece navy-blue dresses that make her look older than her eighteen years".
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Cathy, does Mr. Aborn own a foreign make of car?' Nancy queried. (page 67)
Nancy: "Is he a Godless, foreign Communist?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nancy Drew, dog tender! This was a new title, the young detective thought." (page 72)
Oh, just wait till book ten and Togo, the Destructive Stalking Dog. That'll be loads of fun...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nancy drove away, but told herself they would bear further investigation. It seemed unnatural that they would not have told what parts they were playing." (page 75)
Oh yeah, I know I always tell my landlords every little detail about me. I'm convinced that they're really interested, too.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"When the plan was explained, Laura said, 'Oh, but I don't want to take your date away from you.'
'Don and I have already arranged everything,' Nancy assured her." (page 86)
Nancy: "You only have to have sex with him a couple of times... it's not big deal, really."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'I wonder if that's where Mr. Aborn went and why?' they young detective asked herself." (page 93)
... Woah. Is that actually supposed to mean something?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nancy's eyes searched the ground for footprints. Directly ahead, in the soft earth, she saw the fresh mark of a man's shoe. Instantly her suspicions were confirmed.
Jacob Aborn had come this way! (page 93)
Okay, it's when she's making conclusions like this that I begin to suspect she solved all those cases because of sheer dumb luck.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"After brushing her hair until it snapped with electricity, she was ready for supper." (page 103)
Narrator: "... and for the emergency room..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nerby diners regared the lone girl with interest, for the prospect of the daring adventure had brought a becoming flush to her cheeks." (page 103)
The restaurant was full of pedophiles, apparently.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'(Mr. Aborn) has such a violent temper,' Nancy realized." (page 107)
Yeah, kind of like you, Nancy, when you realize that the bridge is out...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Well, here comes Nancy Drew, housebreaker and spy!' Nancy thought with amused determination." (page 112)
And it only took her three books to finally admit it!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"As she gazed anxiously into his face, Nancy wondered how she could have mistaken him for Jacob Aborn. Although the two men were of the same age and had similar facial characteristics, the prisoner was gaunt and thin. His features, contrary to Mr. Aborn's, were gentle and relaxed." (page 119)
So basically what you're saying is he's pretty even when he's emaciated. Nancy's nothing if not predictable.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"When the padlock finally snapped open Nancy's spirits soared. Now the suitcase of securities that Stumpy Dowd had packed could be retrieved." (page 122)
That is the second completely nonsensical sentence in this book. I wonder if this is a sign that Nancy is slowly going insane.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Meanwhile, neither Nancy nor Mr. Aborn had noticed a dark figure creeping slowly down the steps. Near and nearer the man came, a stout cane gripped tightly in his right hand." (page 122)
Narrator: "Little did they know that they were moments away from being assaulted by Gregory House."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Before Nancy could turn, the end of the cane crashed dwon on her head. With a low moan of pain, she sagged to the floor and lay still." (page 123)
Nancy Drew IS Dana Scully!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'If I can only remember the correct position,' Nancy prayed fervently." (page 125)
And this, boys and girls, is an example of sexual problems young people had in the 30's. (Sorry. Couldn't resist.)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'I presume she left the jewels behind,' (Dowd) added. 'But we'll get them before we leave this area!'
'Don't try anything foolish,' Nancy warned." (page 127)
So she's trying to *help* the criminals now? I've given up trying to make sense of this.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'... I sold (Mr. Aborn's) blue sedan this morning. The money helped to pay for my new foreign car.'
Dowd: "And my induction fee to the Evil Foreign Commie Club."
Jacob Aborn was so furious he almost choked." (page 127)
Aborn: "Foreign?! You Godless Communist!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Tut, tut, none of that!' Dowd said. 'You'll get your blood pressure up.'" (page 127)
Dowd: "Take two hundred lead-coated Asprin and call me in the morning."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Back in River Heights, meanwhile, Hannah Gruen had spent a restless and worried evening, expecting to hear Nancy's convertible pull into the driveway at any moment." (page 131)
So now she's worried about Nancy coming home? Between Hannah and "Mrs. Gleason's sister" from page 45, I'm starting to think that everyone hates Nancy or something...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Oh, hello, Laura,' (Hannah) said, and turned to greet Don Cameron.' (page 131)
Don: "Um, actually, I'm Don, ma'am."
Hannah: "Whatever!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Probably Nancy decided to stay overnight at the Beach Cliff Hotel,' Laura said at once. 'Have you called there to find out?'
'No, because Nancy always calls when she changes her plans.'" (page 132)
Hannah: "So I've been waiting here worrying for hours and hours, but I haven't made any effort at all to find her because I'm sure that if Nancy was kidnapped or killed or taken hostage, she would have called me to tell me all about it. You know, so I wouldn't be worried."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'I don't like the sound of this at all,' (Mr. Drew) said. 'I had no idea that Nancy was planning to sleuth in Mr. Aborn's house at night.'" (page 133)
Mr. Drew: "Though truth be told, I'm not really surprised."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'It would be just like Nancy to follow up a good clue,' (Mr. Drew) said, 'particularly if she thinks there is something odd about the shack. She never gives up until she figures out the solution to whatever the problem is.'" (page 133)
Mr. Drew: "Sometimes she'll even invent a problem, just so she can find a solution. It's such a healthy hobby!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"As if to offset this alarming possibility, the ropes around Nancy's hands suddenly pulled free." (page 139)
Narrator: "They wanted to be as far away from her as possible."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"(Nancy) got out of the car, lifted the hood, and flashed her light inside. She had taken a course in automobile mechanics and knew the possible sources of trouble." (page 143)
Whah...? Oh, come on! Can't you please, please, admit that there are at least a few things that Nancy can't do?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"As she knelt down, the kindly woman said she was a registered nurse. After a brief examination of the patient she reported that Mr. Aborn appeared to be suffering from malnutrition and shock." (page 148)
Because you really need to be a professional to diagnose those conditions. Riiight...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Carson Drew leaped the steps and gave his daughter a resounding kiss." (page 151)
Why do all of their scenes together remind me of trashy romance novels?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Mr. Drew had also seen a small red light a few hundred feet distant. He slowed up. Ahead was a gate obstruction across the highway. On it was nailed a sign which read:
ROAD UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Travel at your own risk" (page 157)
Oooh, watch. Nancy's gonna go postal any minute now...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Could anyone inside the house make a getaway by boat?' Don asked." (page 159)
... Not unless the bathtub overflows.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Let's circle the house,' said Carson Drew, and suggested that he take the left half of the circle while Nancy and Don took the right. They would meet back at this same spot in a few minutes.
'Be careful now,' he warned the young people.
'You too, Dad,' Nancy said." (page 160)
Nancy: "Yeah, because if something bad happens to you, you know I'm totally going to put my little mystery above your safety. Remember last book?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"At the same moment Nancy caught sight of a huge black-and-white checkerboard sign at the side of the road. A bad curve ahead!" (page 164)
Holy crap. Road signs just have it in for these people, don't they?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"As (Nancy) and her companions watched, the foreign car shot off the edge of the road and plunged down a steep cliff!" (page 165)
Nancy: "Meh. Saves 'em from being interrogated by McCarthy."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"(Nancy) also notice gasoline spilling from a hole in the tank. Vaguely she thought of fire and an explosion.
Nancy Drew: Girl detective and closet pyromaniac.
'Hurry!' she urged. (page 167)
Nancy: "C'mon, you guys, get over here and look at this car go 'splodey! It's gonna be so cool!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'Nancy!' Carson Drew cried, white-faced and horror-stricken. 'Are you mad? Those suitcases aren't worth your life!" (page 168)
Carson Drew: "Unless there's Cuban cigars in 'em. In that case, sacrifice yourself, sweetheart!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"At that moment they all heard the low whine of an ambulance alarm. This was followed by a police siren." (page 169)
Ambulance alarm: "I don't wanna go save people! I'm ti-ired! I wanna go home!"
Police Siren: "I told you to shut up! You're gonna make the fire trucks think we're wimps!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'When we heard it was a black foreign car, we were suspicious immediately,' (Lieutenant Gill) said." (page 169)
Lieutenant Gill: "Racial profiling is what I live for!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nancy, quickly brushing her moist eyes dry with the backs of her hands, turned toward the east. She observed that a beautiful sunrise was beginning to flood the sky with brilliant color." (page 171)
Narrator: "She then observed that she had stepped in a large pile of dull brown dog crap, and had soiled her size five women's shoe."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"The bag was jammed with feminine clothing. There were several dresses, a large make-up kit, pieces of lingerie, shoes, and several wigs- a gray one, a black hairpiece, and one which was decidedly auburn.
'That clinches it, Dad!" Nancy exclaimed. "Mrs. Dowd must have gone around in disguise to cash the bonds." (page 172)
Yeah, okay, I can see that. With the dress and wig she could have been a housewife, with the make-up she could have been a clown, and with the lingerie she could have been a five-dollar hooker.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Lieutenant Gill opened the second suitcase. It contained men's clothing and toilet articles.
'Nancy, you risked your life for this!' Don exclaimed." (page 172)
Don: "Come on, you can by condoms at any drug store in the country!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nancy smiled. 'These bags may have false bottoms!'
Lieutenant Gill said, 'Why, of course. I should have thought of that.'" (page 173)
But you didn't, because... you're not Nancy Drew. Get used to it.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"'How's your head, Dad?' Nancy asked.
Carson Drew: "In the gutter, as usual."
'Sound as ever!' Carson Drew said, grinning. 'I don't even have a bump.'
'Then we have a date,' Nancy told him, waving a note.
Nancy: "How does the nightclub show "Four girls, three costumes" sound to you?"
'This was at the desk. I picked it up. The clerk said Jim Donnell left it a little while ago.'
'The date's with him?' Mr. Drew asked.
'No. Laura Pendleton.'" (page 174)
Nancy: "I'm getting tired of threesomes with two men. It's just too dominating for me. You know I like to be in charge."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"As (Nancy) parked, the front door was opened by a woman of about forty-five. Her pretty face showed humor, kindess, and intelligence." (page 175)
Narrator: "Nancy considered hereself good at reading faces. She thought the whole world would be a lot simpler of everyone else realized that pretty = good and ugly = bad."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"As (Nancy) said this, she looked up to see Laura standing before her. In the girl's hand was the beautiful aquamarine ring Nancy had admired earlier in the week.
'I'd like you to wear this,' Laura said shyly, 'as a reminder that our friendship began on the water.'" (page 180)
Laura: "And my guardians will be happy to announce the engagement any day now!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
And in the end, Laura went on to start a third-rate university in Rutherford, Ohio. Don went on to become a policeman in said town.