insane
I feel as if im going mad on the inside and theres nothing i can do about it. Its like everything is spirling out of control and i cant seem to get a grasp of anything remotely normal or sane. its as if im pretending im fine and just keep going through the days with this hey im ok, how are you smile on my face and its driving me nuts! mad mad mad going mad. I want to scream. I feel like i already am standing in a room full of people screaming my lungs out and nothing happens. Im a mess and i keep telling myself everything is fine and i can deal with it when all i really want to do is go back to bed and never wake up. Just keep swimming just keep drown and die. And most of the time im not even sure what its is thats making it all so overwhelming. maybe its all the small things put together and b/c theres so much thats fucked up i feel like im running in a race with myself. ahhhh help!