Don't think, move
So maybe I'll try getting back into this livejournal thing again. We'll see how it turns out...
I some how managed to graduate highschool and then went to the University of Alabama. I only lasted a term. If that. I fail every single one of my classes because I never went to any of them. I'm back at home now with the pissed off parents and working 2 jobs. I seriously work every day just about all day. No exaggeration. I've been working since christmas and I've only had one free day these past few months. Monday thru Friday I work at the cafe until 3:30; Monday and Wednesdays I work evening shifts at the sports bar and Weekends there as well; then my one non-work activity is ninja lessons on Tuesday and Thursday night; I knit beanie hats to sell in whatever free time I can find; and finally babysit on weekends if I have the morning shift at the bar. I'm so tired of working.
I babysat today. I think it was a bad idea. The kids were super laid back so I didn't have to put myself in high gear and work hard like i usually do. This gave me time to think. Really bad idea. I've been all over the place today emotionally. ugh. I don't mind my regular jobs because I don't have to think. Just move. Do what needs to be done. If I don't think and just move then I don't have to taken in my reality. And I can ignore how confused and unhappy I am.
I'm not happy in school...
I'm not happy at home...
I'm not happy working...
What makes me happy?
I seriously have no idea.
I some how managed to graduate highschool and then went to the University of Alabama. I only lasted a term. If that. I fail every single one of my classes because I never went to any of them. I'm back at home now with the pissed off parents and working 2 jobs. I seriously work every day just about all day. No exaggeration. I've been working since christmas and I've only had one free day these past few months. Monday thru Friday I work at the cafe until 3:30; Monday and Wednesdays I work evening shifts at the sports bar and Weekends there as well; then my one non-work activity is ninja lessons on Tuesday and Thursday night; I knit beanie hats to sell in whatever free time I can find; and finally babysit on weekends if I have the morning shift at the bar. I'm so tired of working.
I babysat today. I think it was a bad idea. The kids were super laid back so I didn't have to put myself in high gear and work hard like i usually do. This gave me time to think. Really bad idea. I've been all over the place today emotionally. ugh. I don't mind my regular jobs because I don't have to think. Just move. Do what needs to be done. If I don't think and just move then I don't have to taken in my reality. And I can ignore how confused and unhappy I am.
I'm not happy in school...
I'm not happy at home...
I'm not happy working...
What makes me happy?
I seriously have no idea.