Friday night eating disorders
Yesterday I had to work some mandatory overtime at my lousy job, and as a reward to myself I had planned to have dinner with my friend Kymm afterwards. So she picked me up from work and we headed off to Square to meet Lindsay. The food and wine were delicious, as was the conversation, and I was happy that they enjoyed the restaurant that I had been raving about for so long. When we were about to leave, I had to go to the bathroom, and my contact had been bothering me and moving around in my eye so I decided to try and fix it. And as anyone who wears contacts knows, it is a little bit difficult when you don't have contact solution with you. So it took me a bit of time to get the contact right in my eye, and I was probably in the bathroom for five or six minutes altogether. During that time someone tried to open the door a couple of times. At first I ignored it, and then they started banging on the door. So I said I would be out in a minute. Then when I was washing my hands they started banging again. I thought it was my friends, so I shouted, "Jesus Christ!" I walked out of the bathroom expecting to see Kymm or Lindsay, but instead I saw a woman in her late twenties with a crazy animal print hat. I started to walk past her and she stepped in front of me. "Were you in there throwing up?" I thought that maybe she thought I was drunk (she was) and was showing some boozer solidarity, so I just smiled at told her I wasn't.
"Then why did you flush the toilet several times? I heard you flush it several times!"
I just looked at her with a perplexed look on my face. "I only flushed it once, what are you talking about?"
"Well, maybe I heard the sink. But you know, my friend had time to use the ATM and come back and you were still in the bathroom."
"Not that it's any of your business, but I had a problem with my contact."
She just smiled and nodded. "I see. Well you know, eating disorders are an epidemic these days. One in four women has an eating disorder. You see these skinny girls with these chubby faces and you can tell something is wrong with them..." So basically she told me that she thought I had a fat face. Then she went on this spiel about her friend that had bulemia, and how Hollywood was causing the problem, etc. I went on trying not to laugh. I thanked her for her concern and went back to the table to tell my friends what had happened. They suggested that as soon as she got out of the bathroom we should start staring at her and whispering. But the plan backfired and she came over to the table.
"You know, secrecy is the biggest enemy of bulemia..."
By this time I was becoming annoyed. "I don't have bulemia. I was in the bathroom fixing my contact and what you did was kind of rude. You shouldn't assume things about people. Would you go up to an overweight person who ordered two plates of food and confront them about that?"
"It depends on how well I knew them."
I asked her if she would do that to a stranger, and she conceded that she wouldn't. Then she changed her whole tune. "You're right, you don't look like you have a swollen neck, and your eyes are clear. There's nothing about you that would make me think you were bulemic. I should have taken the time to look at you." Then she made a speech about how we should care for each other, and she was just concerned about me blah blah blah. Did I mention she was drunk?
She finally left, and we all had good laughs about it for a long while afterward. I only have one regret. The crazy lady had herpes on her lip, and I should have said something to her about that. It would have been great if I had asked her if she was sexually promiscuous and told her I was asking out of my concern for her. We always think of the best things in retrospect, eh?
Later that night I was almost thrown up on by a midget. I <3 Boise.
"Then why did you flush the toilet several times? I heard you flush it several times!"
I just looked at her with a perplexed look on my face. "I only flushed it once, what are you talking about?"
"Well, maybe I heard the sink. But you know, my friend had time to use the ATM and come back and you were still in the bathroom."
"Not that it's any of your business, but I had a problem with my contact."
She just smiled and nodded. "I see. Well you know, eating disorders are an epidemic these days. One in four women has an eating disorder. You see these skinny girls with these chubby faces and you can tell something is wrong with them..." So basically she told me that she thought I had a fat face. Then she went on this spiel about her friend that had bulemia, and how Hollywood was causing the problem, etc. I went on trying not to laugh. I thanked her for her concern and went back to the table to tell my friends what had happened. They suggested that as soon as she got out of the bathroom we should start staring at her and whispering. But the plan backfired and she came over to the table.
"You know, secrecy is the biggest enemy of bulemia..."
By this time I was becoming annoyed. "I don't have bulemia. I was in the bathroom fixing my contact and what you did was kind of rude. You shouldn't assume things about people. Would you go up to an overweight person who ordered two plates of food and confront them about that?"
"It depends on how well I knew them."
I asked her if she would do that to a stranger, and she conceded that she wouldn't. Then she changed her whole tune. "You're right, you don't look like you have a swollen neck, and your eyes are clear. There's nothing about you that would make me think you were bulemic. I should have taken the time to look at you." Then she made a speech about how we should care for each other, and she was just concerned about me blah blah blah. Did I mention she was drunk?
She finally left, and we all had good laughs about it for a long while afterward. I only have one regret. The crazy lady had herpes on her lip, and I should have said something to her about that. It would have been great if I had asked her if she was sexually promiscuous and told her I was asking out of my concern for her. We always think of the best things in retrospect, eh?
Later that night I was almost thrown up on by a midget. I <3 Boise.