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Jul 03, 2010 13:48

 I'm getting read for the annual Fourth of July blowout I have every year.  I'm about elbow deep in flour and getting ready to scrub down a grill that survived Snowmaggedon.

I've been throwing some iteration of this party since I was 18, save for the one year when my house had neither floors nor a bathroom, and I gave up on that party very reluctantly.  I started with 10 friends on my parents' deck, with a charcoal grill and too much lighter fluid.

I have since gone bigger.  Some might say comically big.  Two oversized shopping carts from Costco filled to overflowing Big.  But you know what?  It's hard to plan for feeding 60 (or more? less? no one RSVPs these days) for like 12 hours.  Some people are going to eat 3 full meals.  Some will eat a handful of cheeseballs and be on their way.  And I think I would rather die than run out of food. (WHAT if I run out of FOOD?!?!?)

I love this holiday.  I love being with my friends on Independence Day, because I fucking love this country and I want to celebrate it with the people I love (Abby, it is stupid that you are out of town).  Don't think I am unaware of the literary significance of celebrating the birth of this awesome nation with an enormous amount of food purchased from a gigantic box store, much of which I will probably have to throw away.  Paper plates! Disposable utensils!  American excess!  Yeah, ok, I can look at us with a critical eye, and still love the 5 gallon tub of cheeseballs I obtained yesterday.

So, thank you, Patriots of the Past (and the Present! and the Future!) for locking yourselves in the sweltering Pennsylvania State House and hammering out the beginning of the greatest nation on earth (bite me, objectivity!).  Thank you for having the brass ones to sign your names to a document that could (and did, for some) get you killed.  And for that, I salute you with a giant party.  I say that un-sarcastically, because seriously, I believe that as a leader, the great thing you hope for you people, once you have lead them through the fire, is to have happy, fruitful lives, full of friends and too much food.  Thank you for everything you suffered so that I can enjoy the cornucopia of America today.

Who wants a burger?
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