A day in the life
Today, whilst sitting and exchanging tales of the biggest BS we ever got away with, Jesse and I were interrupted by the sound of knock knock knocking and a weak doorbell ring. "That sounds like a serial killer's version of the UPS knock" Jesse may have said as he got up and approached with not a little timidity the closed and notably unlocked door. "It's too wimpy for a real UPS knock," he said as he opened the door for the nice, if slightly suspect UPS delivery person. A box of moderate dimensions was shoved into his hands and without so much as a backwards glance the mystery deliverer dashed off. Yes, dashed.
"What the fuck did I order from PCMall?" Jesse pondered as he walked* back to the couch.
"Maybe it's an advertisement, you know, 'if you had ordered something a week ago from us you would have had some awesome technology by now," I lamely joked.
"Yea, maybe," said Jesse with an indulging chuckle.
ZIP! out came the keys of cutting. SNAP! went the tape as it fell before Jesse's mighty device. HOLY SHIT! came the exclamation as Jess removed a good 70% of the volume inside the box and discovered the third most beautiful sight** ever to grace man's eyes***. Wrapped in flawless shrink wrap and sporting none other than Cap'n Jack Sparrow on the front was a FREE iPod. Yes, Free. Ok, not really Free, but damn close. One of those pop up ads which makes you jump through crazy hoops actually sent Jesse a free iPod. It ultimately cost him $50, since he paid for the requisite 5 Blockbuster Online accounts, but still, a FREE 30gig sexy ass video iPod.
It was probably the best random door knock ever.
Footnotes:
*It should be noted that in the FAThouse, very little actual movement occurs. "walk" is a rough translation, a more accurate visual description would be "waddling with a bit of shuffle thrown in, really anything to not move the legs but rather let "fat momentum (FM)" carry us through the room" but as you can see, that's too long for the exposition proper.
**The first two are...ahem...not safe for work.
***It ranks around 7th for women, who are much better at spotting beauty than men. To be truly beautiful to a man, it needs cutting edge technology, or boobs. Preferably both...mmmmm...robot girl...
"What the fuck did I order from PCMall?" Jesse pondered as he walked* back to the couch.
"Maybe it's an advertisement, you know, 'if you had ordered something a week ago from us you would have had some awesome technology by now," I lamely joked.
"Yea, maybe," said Jesse with an indulging chuckle.
ZIP! out came the keys of cutting. SNAP! went the tape as it fell before Jesse's mighty device. HOLY SHIT! came the exclamation as Jess removed a good 70% of the volume inside the box and discovered the third most beautiful sight** ever to grace man's eyes***. Wrapped in flawless shrink wrap and sporting none other than Cap'n Jack Sparrow on the front was a FREE iPod. Yes, Free. Ok, not really Free, but damn close. One of those pop up ads which makes you jump through crazy hoops actually sent Jesse a free iPod. It ultimately cost him $50, since he paid for the requisite 5 Blockbuster Online accounts, but still, a FREE 30gig sexy ass video iPod.
It was probably the best random door knock ever.
Footnotes:
*It should be noted that in the FAThouse, very little actual movement occurs. "walk" is a rough translation, a more accurate visual description would be "waddling with a bit of shuffle thrown in, really anything to not move the legs but rather let "fat momentum (FM)" carry us through the room" but as you can see, that's too long for the exposition proper.
**The first two are...ahem...not safe for work.
***It ranks around 7th for women, who are much better at spotting beauty than men. To be truly beautiful to a man, it needs cutting edge technology, or boobs. Preferably both...mmmmm...robot girl...