Patience is a VIRTUE, dammit.
Um. Is there more to this story? Because, like, I'm sure being trapped under a fallen tree is scary and all, but I'm pretty positive I would wait a little longer than eleven hours before I started SAWING OFF MY LIMBS. I mean, that's a little precipitous, right? Don't people usually wait at least a day or two in this sort of situation? Maybe there was a bear. I'm just going to tell myself there was a bear, okay? Okay.
(Boy, this is NOT a guy you want to party with, huh? As soon as you start running low on Doritos, he's all eyeballing the heaviest person there and trying to figure out how many flank steaks her torso will make. TOTAL BUZZKILL.)
(Boy, this is NOT a guy you want to party with, huh? As soon as you start running low on Doritos, he's all eyeballing the heaviest person there and trying to figure out how many flank steaks her torso will make. TOTAL BUZZKILL.)