when you left i lost a part of me...

[whatevsnapsnap]

why won't it just fucking get better? im so tired of crying all the time. i've been crying for the past hour and im not even sure why. i was feeling so good but now that all gone. i started trying to figure out what classes i was going to take next semester and i just crumbled. its so hard because i can't talk to the only person in the world who can make me feel better. i love you all and i appreciate your support but theres just nothing else that makes me feel better. appearantly i'm codependent...i always used to be so indepenedent. i finally let me gaurd down and let someone into my life and its completely ruined me. what happened to the strong, independent brendan? im pretty sure he died along with my other good qualities. i don't ever want to date anyone ever again, but i just want someone to be here with me so bad. im not sure im ready to go back to school..if i keep breaking down like this there is no way i can go back. im not sure i even want to anymore. everything just seems so hopeless.

when he left i really did lose a part of me and im not sure i'll ever get that back. its the worst feeling in the world...