i'm not a slut, i promise.

[chamcha]

i need some advice about a sticky situation i've embedded myself into. my friends have given me crap advice like i should play mind games with this guy, etc.

Comments

[esprix]

You may have already poisoned the well by sending mixed messages. If I were you I'd ask him out on a casual date and talk to him face to face (without being naked). And don't get clingy.

On another note, you're saying you don't want to jump into something else, but you "like him a lot." What, exactly, DO you want?

[chamcha]

sounds OK. clingy's not something i have a problem with.

honestly, i don't know what i want. i do know that casual sex has left me wildly unfulfilled. i also know that my last two serious relationships were with guys i really wasn't right for. i have no expectations with this guy, but i'd like to see where things could go.

[esprix]

My definition of dating has always been "spending time with someone to decide if I want to spend more time with them." Try taking naked kissing out of the equation for a while and get to know him socially. (This may be why your last relationships didn't work out, perhaps?)

[chamcha]

this is definitely why my last relationships didn't work out. they started from intense sexual attraction and were fueled by a mutual shame for extra-relationship sex. of course that attraction faded and we weren't left with much else.

[esprix]

So now's the time to break old patterns. If this guy's already been turned off, then keep this in mind for the next person you meet that you like and don't start off with naked kissing.

[chamcha]

yeah yeah yeah. it takes two tango though...
thanks for replying

[esprix]

Aren't you in control of your own decisions?

[chamcha]

hahahahah no

[esprix]

Then you've got bigger problems than an online advice community can provide.

[vintagebanana]

What he said times a billionty.

[chamcha]

that's not a number