(no subject)
I’m looking for something I know. I don’t know what it is, not yet at least. I repeatedly sign on to msn secretly. Each time I imagine that there is someone online that I can talk to about how I feel and what’s going on inside. To tell them what I am looking for so they can help me find it. It’s a classic. What great novel doesn’t have some sort of spiritual journey? Except mine is different. I found what I was looking for. Only for a short time. At least I knew what I had; at least I enjoyed it for a time. Now I journey on again looking for that same place, were I was happy. I know it’s not likely that it will be across the country if it’s not in my own backyard and I know I’m likely to forget what it was that I moved across the country for but still I buy a ticket convinced that I am leaving, convinced that I am no Holden Caulfield. We’ll see what happens and how far I go. I hope this isn’t all for nothing.