Because I can't think of anything to say ...

Mar 20, 2007 13:17

Tell me what you think of me
Do it anonymously
Give me advice
Tell me what you think's going on with me at the moment
Enlighten me
Tell me who I am
Thanks guys
xxx

anonymouspost

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thegoldenvision March 21 2007, 04:22:22 UTC
i'm such a rebel it's not going to be anonymous. but, i'm going to be a bit harsh/blunt, so be prepared.

sometimes you do what i do and create dramas for yourself. it's like feeling good is too unbelievable, so you dwell in worries/sadness for lack of knowing what else to do. it's not your FAULT that you do this, but it's something to be aware of.

there are fiona apple lyrics that i like to quote for myself on this:

i don't know what i'm doing
don't know... should i change my mind?
i can't decide
there's too many variations to consider.
nothing i do don't do nothing
but bring me more to do.
it's true: - i do imbue my blue unto myself
i make it bitter.

i don't believe that anyone knows who they are... knowing who you are is always a concept our brains define through what we aren't, and if what you aren't keeps changing how can you have this inherent idea of who you are. you're saf, and you keep changing. that is who you are ♥

i think some 'rules' for yourself could help you right now. if you don't want to be with anyone, don't be. if you don't want to be the girl who sleeps with all the boys, then don't be... even though i can understand the desire to be. if you don't want to be chris' girlfriend, don't be. even though you WANT to seek self-worth through others, tell yourself not to. it doesn't make it easy, but it might prevent you slipping into a self-hating freak out when your 'mood' [long-term mood] shifts and you come back to 'reality'.

xo

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thegoldenvision March 21 2007, 04:24:52 UTC
what i mean with the last paragraph is that right now you don't know what you WANT in a long term sense, but you know what you don't want in a short term sense. so, explain (to chris/etc) that it's short term and that you can't cope and do what you KNOW... that you don't want to do those things NOW.

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