my motto
I believe this would qualify as my motto, as motto = a maxim adopted as a guide to one's conduct. It has played an unquestionably large role in my conduct/life, so yes, I'll count it. (The Boy Scouts are disappointed now, because before I realized that this was my real motto, I was using the one they had supplanted on me (Be Prepared).) So what is this miracle phrase, you ask? What precious statement has made such an impact on David that it is his official motto? How has it affected him? Well if you'll chill out, I'll tell you.
Fuck It.
Kind of a let down, eh? But it's true. In it's dismissing "I will do no such thing", it's nonchalant "meh, what the hell", and it's hopeless/angry "ah fuck it" (though not it's horny "FUCK IT!!!!" (yet)), Fuck It has kept me calm and lead me fairly straight through the years since I figured out what it meant. In moments of indecision, Fuck It has always been there, getting the job done and pushing on so as not to be burdened with having to weigh consequences and such. And that happens a lot. I mean, a LOT. I'm one indecisive sunuvagun, I tell you. In a choice between A and B (fuck A and B. They're overused. Let's go with P and W (You expected Q. Don't act like you didn't. Q lover), where P and W provide similar cost/benefit, then Fuck It comes to the rescue, saying "I'm bored. Pick W and be done with it." (For the purposes of this and future entries, the words spoken by Fuck It are the translation of the particular Fuck It that is uttered/thought). So I say "Fuck It, I'll take W." and be on my way. But Fuck It doesn't stop there. Why should he? (Fuck It has a penis in my world. It makes him a he. It seems appropriate, as disregarding results of actions is generally conotated with being male). He sticks with me and reminds me of our little deal whenever I try to think about changing my mind. "Dammit" he says, "you've already started with W. You said fuck P, remember? Not exactly in those words, I know, but you follow me. What happens after this will happen. You've made your decision, don't pussy out on it now!" He keeps me focused. Even when all is said and done, he sticks by for a while ands lets me go back and think how P would have worked out. If I find that P was easier, he says, "Fuck it. What can you do about it now? You probably got more out of W anyway." Fuck It is a pretty optimistic guy in the end. Doesn't sound like it initially, but he is.
Sometimes Fuck It pops up right when I need him in a split-second decision. A real-life example: I was at my first college party (first party period, in terms of actually partying going on (it makes sense. Shhhh...) (And I will state for all to hear/read that I do not party in the sense of drinking myself half-blind. I don't drink at all. I am a wallflower extroidanaire on the party scene.)) held by my superb drum captain in the NCSU Marching Band, chilling out in a rather comfortable chair, looking out onto the "dance floor" (see "place where there wasn't too much furniture in the way") where there were usually one or two females dancing to the loud rap music (regardless of your opinion, I do consider rap to be musical). It wasn't a big room, the peoples were in fairly close proximity. I looked up one time to see only one dancer. She apparently had become bored of dancing alone and was trying to pull in partners from the surrounding area. After several failed attempts she had managed to find her way in front of me. She turns to me, an unknown freshman, and asks "You dance?" She's the kind of girl I would call pretty, to put it one way. I wouldn't quite say hot, but close. (A side note. David does not dance unless he is having a lot of fun, has energy, or doesn't think anyone's paying attention. Never with people. David is a solo "artist" (read "pile of shit"), and only dances with others purely as a favor. Always has been this way. As far as I can tell, always will be this way.) In the amount of time involved in a split second, Fuck It hopped in and simply said, "Ah, what the hell, go for it." (read "Fuck it" under the second description given way back in the upward direction). Being one to trust 1) My instincts, 2) My momma, and 3) My Fuck Its, I was getting my feet saying, "Sure, why not" before I had quite registered what I was doing. So now I'm learning how to club dance i.e. grind i.e. dry hump-erection really quickly. While this is occuring, I hear cheers. Glancing outward, I see the cheers are directed towards me, along with a shocked face or two, and I think to myself, "This clearly means something very good or very bad." Enter Fuck It. "You've already started, just see where it goes." So the song reaches an end and she turns and compliments what appeared to be my skill of club dancing (see true definition above). And as I try to head back to my chair or a wall or some other non-center-of-attention place, I hear, "Let's see your solo." "Oh shit" thinks I. Trapped with a large, supportive crowd in front of me and a new song behind me, I knew what Fuck It would say ("fuck it") and started making something up on the fly. Once I realized the dancing juices were dying quickly, I pulled out my famous standard. I dropped some madd white boiz (trans. = ridiculous dance moves so bad that only stereotypical white males can accomplish them). "When skill is absent, replace with laughter" as I just started saying. Once I got out of there, I found out that she was 20 some years old, dating a particularly intimidating guy who was at the party, that there were pictures, and that I had been certified as awesome and as having "huge balls, no, massive balls." Thank you Fuck It. Thank you.
Now some of you (when taken out of the two-three people who will read this, one) might say, "But David, you make it sound like Fuck It makes you do just about anything. Isn't that dangerous? Won't that lead to potential immoral/illegal/life-threatening behavior?" To that I would say yes if it weren't for two things. One: By the grace of God, My parents taught me well and I am a naturally moral (mostly) person (that isn't saying my parents teachings are the only thing that determines what I define as morality or that my morals are the obviously correct ones. But by society's standards of what a good person is (which is way above the average person), I feel I do a decent job of keeping close to good.) Two: As I tell others and myself, I'm a fucking Eagle Scout. (highest rank available in Boy Scouting. Nationally accreditted as meaning something.) What is meant by all this is that I'm generally a good guy. It is by these things that my Fuck It determines when the first definition should be used (definitions are still up towards the beginning (just so you know)). This one can come in variations like "Fuck that" or "What the Fuck!?"
As far as the most Fuck It of the Fuck Its (3rd definition), that comes when I have work and more work to do. It keeps my work prioritized by a simple method. "I don't know how this works!" "Fuck it." "I don't have time for this!" "Fuck it." etc.
As I think I have clearly shown, Fuck It is the best candidate for my motto thanks to it's influence on my everyday life. If you don't believe that I use it that often, pay real close attention next time I'm muttering to myself. Fuck It is almost always there.
Fuck It.
Kind of a let down, eh? But it's true. In it's dismissing "I will do no such thing", it's nonchalant "meh, what the hell", and it's hopeless/angry "ah fuck it" (though not it's horny "FUCK IT!!!!" (yet)), Fuck It has kept me calm and lead me fairly straight through the years since I figured out what it meant. In moments of indecision, Fuck It has always been there, getting the job done and pushing on so as not to be burdened with having to weigh consequences and such. And that happens a lot. I mean, a LOT. I'm one indecisive sunuvagun, I tell you. In a choice between A and B (fuck A and B. They're overused. Let's go with P and W (You expected Q. Don't act like you didn't. Q lover), where P and W provide similar cost/benefit, then Fuck It comes to the rescue, saying "I'm bored. Pick W and be done with it." (For the purposes of this and future entries, the words spoken by Fuck It are the translation of the particular Fuck It that is uttered/thought). So I say "Fuck It, I'll take W." and be on my way. But Fuck It doesn't stop there. Why should he? (Fuck It has a penis in my world. It makes him a he. It seems appropriate, as disregarding results of actions is generally conotated with being male). He sticks with me and reminds me of our little deal whenever I try to think about changing my mind. "Dammit" he says, "you've already started with W. You said fuck P, remember? Not exactly in those words, I know, but you follow me. What happens after this will happen. You've made your decision, don't pussy out on it now!" He keeps me focused. Even when all is said and done, he sticks by for a while ands lets me go back and think how P would have worked out. If I find that P was easier, he says, "Fuck it. What can you do about it now? You probably got more out of W anyway." Fuck It is a pretty optimistic guy in the end. Doesn't sound like it initially, but he is.
Sometimes Fuck It pops up right when I need him in a split-second decision. A real-life example: I was at my first college party (first party period, in terms of actually partying going on (it makes sense. Shhhh...) (And I will state for all to hear/read that I do not party in the sense of drinking myself half-blind. I don't drink at all. I am a wallflower extroidanaire on the party scene.)) held by my superb drum captain in the NCSU Marching Band, chilling out in a rather comfortable chair, looking out onto the "dance floor" (see "place where there wasn't too much furniture in the way") where there were usually one or two females dancing to the loud rap music (regardless of your opinion, I do consider rap to be musical). It wasn't a big room, the peoples were in fairly close proximity. I looked up one time to see only one dancer. She apparently had become bored of dancing alone and was trying to pull in partners from the surrounding area. After several failed attempts she had managed to find her way in front of me. She turns to me, an unknown freshman, and asks "You dance?" She's the kind of girl I would call pretty, to put it one way. I wouldn't quite say hot, but close. (A side note. David does not dance unless he is having a lot of fun, has energy, or doesn't think anyone's paying attention. Never with people. David is a solo "artist" (read "pile of shit"), and only dances with others purely as a favor. Always has been this way. As far as I can tell, always will be this way.) In the amount of time involved in a split second, Fuck It hopped in and simply said, "Ah, what the hell, go for it." (read "Fuck it" under the second description given way back in the upward direction). Being one to trust 1) My instincts, 2) My momma, and 3) My Fuck Its, I was getting my feet saying, "Sure, why not" before I had quite registered what I was doing. So now I'm learning how to club dance i.e. grind i.e. dry hump-erection really quickly. While this is occuring, I hear cheers. Glancing outward, I see the cheers are directed towards me, along with a shocked face or two, and I think to myself, "This clearly means something very good or very bad." Enter Fuck It. "You've already started, just see where it goes." So the song reaches an end and she turns and compliments what appeared to be my skill of club dancing (see true definition above). And as I try to head back to my chair or a wall or some other non-center-of-attention place, I hear, "Let's see your solo." "Oh shit" thinks I. Trapped with a large, supportive crowd in front of me and a new song behind me, I knew what Fuck It would say ("fuck it") and started making something up on the fly. Once I realized the dancing juices were dying quickly, I pulled out my famous standard. I dropped some madd white boiz (trans. = ridiculous dance moves so bad that only stereotypical white males can accomplish them). "When skill is absent, replace with laughter" as I just started saying. Once I got out of there, I found out that she was 20 some years old, dating a particularly intimidating guy who was at the party, that there were pictures, and that I had been certified as awesome and as having "huge balls, no, massive balls." Thank you Fuck It. Thank you.
Now some of you (when taken out of the two-three people who will read this, one) might say, "But David, you make it sound like Fuck It makes you do just about anything. Isn't that dangerous? Won't that lead to potential immoral/illegal/life-threatening behavior?" To that I would say yes if it weren't for two things. One: By the grace of God, My parents taught me well and I am a naturally moral (mostly) person (that isn't saying my parents teachings are the only thing that determines what I define as morality or that my morals are the obviously correct ones. But by society's standards of what a good person is (which is way above the average person), I feel I do a decent job of keeping close to good.) Two: As I tell others and myself, I'm a fucking Eagle Scout. (highest rank available in Boy Scouting. Nationally accreditted as meaning something.) What is meant by all this is that I'm generally a good guy. It is by these things that my Fuck It determines when the first definition should be used (definitions are still up towards the beginning (just so you know)). This one can come in variations like "Fuck that" or "What the Fuck!?"
As far as the most Fuck It of the Fuck Its (3rd definition), that comes when I have work and more work to do. It keeps my work prioritized by a simple method. "I don't know how this works!" "Fuck it." "I don't have time for this!" "Fuck it." etc.
As I think I have clearly shown, Fuck It is the best candidate for my motto thanks to it's influence on my everyday life. If you don't believe that I use it that often, pay real close attention next time I'm muttering to myself. Fuck It is almost always there.