Straight as...
an arrow (non-broken)?
a ruler (non-broken)?
an anti-politician (broken or otherwise)?
the graphical representation of y=C or x=C, where C=any constant (continuous)?
Why yes, yes I am. Not only that, I'm rather fast on my feet, can do a pretty damn decent one handed piano, and am a really peaceable, to name a couple (a few, really. A couple is only two (just so you know).) other things people have a hard time believing.
Yep. Still having the occasional questionable look (see "stare") or heresay through the grapevine that I'm gay (I just got one for asexual as well (looks like I'm branching out).) and whatnot. It's annoying and amusing at the same time. People that I'm almost positive didn't know my name and weren't even vaguely aware of my existence suddenly gave half a shit once the scent of possible homosexuality hit their probing nostrils.
And what does David say to this? "Eh." (You couldn't have expected more. It's simply impossible (improbable, rather. But who cares, really? (not me (as is soon to be proven)!)).) I could really care a whole lot about it, but why? Anyone? Exactly. My care will be not be wasted on myself, but reserved for things of much higher import (they might show up later in this entry, depending on how soon lethargy wants to hold my head under the waters of sleep until the bubbles stop. Otherwise, stayed tuned. They'll come (probably).) and some of not-as-much-higher-import-but-still-more-than-would-be-allotted-to-myself-in-such-a-situation import. But onward (downward, technically) we shall go, instead of rehashing all that a dozen more times.
I can understand some of the reasons I assume are being used as a basis for these claims. Looking ahead at what I'm thinking, the asexual seems most believable (Which is also incorrect). So, possible cause in this cause-effect relationship #1: I haven't had a girlfriend. Ever. Effect: "OMGeeeezzzzzzzzzzzeee!!!! He has no woman, so he must like the manfolk!" (alternatively: "OMGeeeezzzzzzzzzzzeee!!!! He has no woman nor man, so he must not like anythings!!1!!!") Truth be told, I likes the females. Me likey muchos (if you listen carefully, you can here the English language screaming for mercy). But I choose not to put forth any effort towards getting them (it seems they're collectable). "No effort towards vagina holders?!?!?! FAG!" (not quite that extreme, but vagina holders sounded funny, so it stays). To be totally honest, I feel no need for a relationship. Nor for sex, make-out bitch, maid, any of that. I am perfectly capable of being happy alone. I don't like putting work into things I don't need or really want. Not needing or really wanting them, I put no effort into aquiring women. In the case that I do decide to fetch one, my nature is to go all out or not at all (in cases of things I want, that is. I'm not going to bust my ass for a carrot unless I'm craving a carrot like a fat kid craves cake (And that's a lot). The same goes for work. If I want to do something, I will do at 1,000,000% capacity. Otherwise, I half-ass everything. That's how I roll. I roll like a fat kid down a hill. Really fast or not at all)(Sorry about all that. Got caught up in the fat kid jokes.). Cause #2: I get lobbed opportunities. Easy ones. (Like Tee-ball. I swing, I win. That easy.) I decline. Reaction: "Whoawhoawhoawhoa. Whoa. You denied the womanage? The free womanage? *confused look*" It has happened several times. For the vast majority of them, the "womanage" was only "womanage" due to chromosomes. Of the one, possibly two that I even considered, I knew I wasn't ready to go through all the rigamarole required in those things. I guess it could be called fear of commitment or some shit like that. Whatever it is, I can't see myself in a relationship, so it doesn't happen. Cause #3: I make detailed innuendo and some highly suggestive gestures towards both genders. Reaction: "EEWWWWW! HOMO!" David enjoys a good laugh. One of the funniest things David can see somewhat regularly is people's jokes backfiring or being redoubled against them. Humor among this age group (at least the lowest common denominator) is based solely on sex and non sequiturs. Non sequiturs are sometimes challenging to throw back at the creator of the "joke" (unless they fucked it up without realizing. Just because it's random doesn't make it work. Without proper choice of words, they plummet 3,000 feet just to the left of the eight ounce glass of funny they were aiming for (like in the cartoons, but with a joke instead of a retarded animal and silence as opposed to laughter))(that one most likely plummeted, but I'm tired, so I won't read back over it and find out. Whatever it is, it will serve as an example for the good or the bad. Or neither. Regardless.), but sex is easy. Just for kicks, I take it a step or two directly past the joker's comfort zone with my rebuttals (or actions, depending on the structure of the joke). Freak the bastard out a little. Laughing in their face is one of the better feelings in the world, because they normally catch that I'm just fucking with them (or that I'm slightly nuts (nuts like testicles! And I'm talking about homosexuality in men (me specifically) so it's extra unnecessary!)(I wonder why I noticed that...(I dunno))). So yeah, this paragraph is far too long.
Much better.
Random news check: Thanksgiving went well. Got a printer. One more week of class, then a couple exams. Me = tired.
Disclaimer: Knowing that 2/3 of the known readership is female, it seems right to mention that I don't view women as objects. It's just easier to write like that. Blahblahblahsomethingaboutsupportforwomen'srightsblahblahblahsexismisbaddownwithsexismblahblahblah... You know, if you womans just stayed in the kitchen fixing the manfolk steaks like you should, you never would've learned to read enough to possibly be offended, so a disclaimer isn't necessary. It's your own damn fault you might be offended. Little rebels, next they'll want to vote and get jobs and do non-food making, non-baby making activities.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Plain Quote: Our judgments judge us; and nothing reveals us [or] exposes our weaknesses more ingeniously than the attitude of pronouncing upon our fellows. - Paul Valery
David Quote: "Merry Christmas! That's what I'd say to you if you were Jesus. Because it's your birthday and all." That's my current birthday greeting. If it holds up 'til your birthday, you might see it too.
Last Consumables: Food: Chicken McNuggets - Drink: Dr Pepper
Emotional Charger(s): Taylor Brucki, Phillip Roberts, and Corey something (forgot his last name). They got their Eagle Awards on Sunday, and they invited me to the court of honor. They had a long, drawn-out, affair, but it made me think about my Eagle. I was proud of them and I was proud of myself. Hadn't been that proud in a while.
Debacle de 100: ..."and then I said, 'No thanks, I'll have the soup.'
They ate it up. It was too easy to win this crowd over. I was playing them like a game of solitaire with a fixed deck. They laughed at everything I threw out, genuinely listened to every story, and -best of all- tipped beyond generously. Their enthusiasm just egged me on. Time to go for empty wallets. I began my "Great Houdini" bit. The big finish. I was willing to bet there wouldn't a cent left in those fuckers' pockets before they left, if not for me, then the shady wait staff. Hell, maybe even a few virgin sacrifices, if they catch the twist. "We can only hope", I thought to myself.
El Fin
a ruler (non-broken)?
an anti-politician (broken or otherwise)?
the graphical representation of y=C or x=C, where C=any constant (continuous)?
Why yes, yes I am. Not only that, I'm rather fast on my feet, can do a pretty damn decent one handed piano, and am a really peaceable, to name a couple (a few, really. A couple is only two (just so you know).) other things people have a hard time believing.
Yep. Still having the occasional questionable look (see "stare") or heresay through the grapevine that I'm gay (I just got one for asexual as well (looks like I'm branching out).) and whatnot. It's annoying and amusing at the same time. People that I'm almost positive didn't know my name and weren't even vaguely aware of my existence suddenly gave half a shit once the scent of possible homosexuality hit their probing nostrils.
And what does David say to this? "Eh." (You couldn't have expected more. It's simply impossible (improbable, rather. But who cares, really? (not me (as is soon to be proven)!)).) I could really care a whole lot about it, but why? Anyone? Exactly. My care will be not be wasted on myself, but reserved for things of much higher import (they might show up later in this entry, depending on how soon lethargy wants to hold my head under the waters of sleep until the bubbles stop. Otherwise, stayed tuned. They'll come (probably).) and some of not-as-much-higher-import-but-still-more-than-would-be-allotted-to-myself-in-such-a-situation import. But onward (downward, technically) we shall go, instead of rehashing all that a dozen more times.
I can understand some of the reasons I assume are being used as a basis for these claims. Looking ahead at what I'm thinking, the asexual seems most believable (Which is also incorrect). So, possible cause in this cause-effect relationship #1: I haven't had a girlfriend. Ever. Effect: "OMGeeeezzzzzzzzzzzeee!!!! He has no woman, so he must like the manfolk!" (alternatively: "OMGeeeezzzzzzzzzzzeee!!!! He has no woman nor man, so he must not like anythings!!1!!!") Truth be told, I likes the females. Me likey muchos (if you listen carefully, you can here the English language screaming for mercy). But I choose not to put forth any effort towards getting them (it seems they're collectable). "No effort towards vagina holders?!?!?! FAG!" (not quite that extreme, but vagina holders sounded funny, so it stays). To be totally honest, I feel no need for a relationship. Nor for sex, make-out bitch, maid, any of that. I am perfectly capable of being happy alone. I don't like putting work into things I don't need or really want. Not needing or really wanting them, I put no effort into aquiring women. In the case that I do decide to fetch one, my nature is to go all out or not at all (in cases of things I want, that is. I'm not going to bust my ass for a carrot unless I'm craving a carrot like a fat kid craves cake (And that's a lot). The same goes for work. If I want to do something, I will do at 1,000,000% capacity. Otherwise, I half-ass everything. That's how I roll. I roll like a fat kid down a hill. Really fast or not at all)(Sorry about all that. Got caught up in the fat kid jokes.). Cause #2: I get lobbed opportunities. Easy ones. (Like Tee-ball. I swing, I win. That easy.) I decline. Reaction: "Whoawhoawhoawhoa. Whoa. You denied the womanage? The free womanage? *confused look*" It has happened several times. For the vast majority of them, the "womanage" was only "womanage" due to chromosomes. Of the one, possibly two that I even considered, I knew I wasn't ready to go through all the rigamarole required in those things. I guess it could be called fear of commitment or some shit like that. Whatever it is, I can't see myself in a relationship, so it doesn't happen. Cause #3: I make detailed innuendo and some highly suggestive gestures towards both genders. Reaction: "EEWWWWW! HOMO!" David enjoys a good laugh. One of the funniest things David can see somewhat regularly is people's jokes backfiring or being redoubled against them. Humor among this age group (at least the lowest common denominator) is based solely on sex and non sequiturs. Non sequiturs are sometimes challenging to throw back at the creator of the "joke" (unless they fucked it up without realizing. Just because it's random doesn't make it work. Without proper choice of words, they plummet 3,000 feet just to the left of the eight ounce glass of funny they were aiming for (like in the cartoons, but with a joke instead of a retarded animal and silence as opposed to laughter))(that one most likely plummeted, but I'm tired, so I won't read back over it and find out. Whatever it is, it will serve as an example for the good or the bad. Or neither. Regardless.), but sex is easy. Just for kicks, I take it a step or two directly past the joker's comfort zone with my rebuttals (or actions, depending on the structure of the joke). Freak the bastard out a little. Laughing in their face is one of the better feelings in the world, because they normally catch that I'm just fucking with them (or that I'm slightly nuts (nuts like testicles! And I'm talking about homosexuality in men (me specifically) so it's extra unnecessary!)(I wonder why I noticed that...(I dunno))). So yeah, this paragraph is far too long.
Much better.
Random news check: Thanksgiving went well. Got a printer. One more week of class, then a couple exams. Me = tired.
Disclaimer: Knowing that 2/3 of the known readership is female, it seems right to mention that I don't view women as objects. It's just easier to write like that. Blahblahblahsomethingaboutsupportforwomen'srightsblahblahblahsexismisbaddownwithsexismblahblahblah... You know, if you womans just stayed in the kitchen fixing the manfolk steaks like you should, you never would've learned to read enough to possibly be offended, so a disclaimer isn't necessary. It's your own damn fault you might be offended. Little rebels, next they'll want to vote and get jobs and do non-food making, non-baby making activities.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Plain Quote: Our judgments judge us; and nothing reveals us [or] exposes our weaknesses more ingeniously than the attitude of pronouncing upon our fellows. - Paul Valery
David Quote: "Merry Christmas! That's what I'd say to you if you were Jesus. Because it's your birthday and all." That's my current birthday greeting. If it holds up 'til your birthday, you might see it too.
Last Consumables: Food: Chicken McNuggets - Drink: Dr Pepper
Emotional Charger(s): Taylor Brucki, Phillip Roberts, and Corey something (forgot his last name). They got their Eagle Awards on Sunday, and they invited me to the court of honor. They had a long, drawn-out, affair, but it made me think about my Eagle. I was proud of them and I was proud of myself. Hadn't been that proud in a while.
Debacle de 100: ..."and then I said, 'No thanks, I'll have the soup.'
They ate it up. It was too easy to win this crowd over. I was playing them like a game of solitaire with a fixed deck. They laughed at everything I threw out, genuinely listened to every story, and -best of all- tipped beyond generously. Their enthusiasm just egged me on. Time to go for empty wallets. I began my "Great Houdini" bit. The big finish. I was willing to bet there wouldn't a cent left in those fuckers' pockets before they left, if not for me, then the shady wait staff. Hell, maybe even a few virgin sacrifices, if they catch the twist. "We can only hope", I thought to myself.
El Fin