(no subject)

[whataboutmystar]

relient k's "be my escape" pretty much just sums up my entire existence right now.
if you haven't heard it. go download it. it'll seriously make you say "wow, that is mark sharrow"

and if it doesn't, then you don't know me very well.

i just feel like i'm going crazy.
i don't know what i want. in anything anymore. except that i want to go to college and do theatre and english.

i want to be happy with myself.
i don't care if it's fat or thin, i just want to look in the mirror and not feel ill.
i want to sleep.

not dream.
i'm sick of dreaming, and my dreams haunt my slumber.

i just wanna go to sleep and wake up. wake up NOT tired.

i'm always so tired these days.
and sad.
like someone borrowed my heart and forgot to give it back.

last night. at work.
i felt okay. i smiled and had fun--something i haven't really let myself do in a while.

i never see my friends.
i never even see myself.
because i'm always so busy busy busy busyyyyyy. with everything else.

i like the way my life is going.
i just wish it was going by a little bit slower.
just give me another two hours to sleep.
another hour for homework.
another couple hours for friends.
another hour to just watch tv or read a good book.
*le sigh*

this is the most disgusting excuse for a journal entry.
but oh well.