[Gift Exchange Fanfic] Rue de la paix
Artist: maikichelorrain
Recipient: k3llyb3an
Rating: PG - 13 (innuendos)
Prompt: Family game.
Notes: I know the person who asked this prompt had serious problems not so long ago, and won't probably read it... but I tried to do my best anyway .
And I didn't have time to have the fic beta-read (English isn't my mother tongue), so please don't mind grammar mistakes.
RUE DE LA PAIX
- Oh god, I think I’m going to explode!
-That’s your fault, Matthew replied, watching his half-brother rubbing his belly with energy, as if he was trying to speed his digestion.
Both of them had finished cleaning the table after the first dinner of the Christmas holidays, and their respective parents, Francis and Arthur, were now washing the plates in the kitchen. For celebrating the end of school and the beginning of the holidays, Matthew’s Papa, Francis, had decided to cook a dish of season - even if Matthew suspected he just wanted something quick to prepare to have enough time to get himself ready for the return of his lover.
- My fault? That’s that… all this cheese and jam and… the dessert, Alfred stuttered.
- You decided to eat I don’t know how much potatoes - a raclette isn’t really a light plate, and you took 3 parts of Paris-Brest afterwards.
- But I didn’t know!
Matthew tried not to smile at Alfred’s pout and cursing at the ‘unnaturally heavy dishes’ and refrained himself to pat his shoulder. Instead he went next to the bookcase where a radio post had been forgotten and turned the volume on, a little tune filling the dinner room. In the same time, Alfred sat without delicacy in front of the fire of the chimney.
The Christmas decorations or tree weren’t installed yet - Matthew and his Papa wanted the family to be reunited to do it together. Arthur working and Alfred studying abroad, in London, was making those gathering a little difficult so everyone was rejoicing of the prospect of spending the next two weeks together, in the old house of Francis’ parents in the province.
- God, I hope your Papa will not decide to cook more dish like this one during the rest of the holidays. Even a hero wouldn’t survive it!
-He will. It’s winter, it’s Christmas, and he’s a cook. If you had more judgment, you would eat less - or you’ll get fat when you’ll be a grown-up
- Pfff then, where is the fun? Anyway, he and Dad shouldn’t expect me to go to bed now, because I won’t be able to sleep in this state, Alfred continued as if he didn’t hear Matthew’s sentence. No way at all.
Matthew sighed. He was used to after all, not to be listened to. In class, if it wasn’t for his pseudo-maybe-one-day-if-he-confesses-boy friend Gilbert, he would be a shadow, even forgotten by his teachers. And Alfred was so self- confident, he was so bright, he was so … Not that he didn’t like Alfred, on the contrary! He was sometimes difficult to support, being hyperactive and all, but he was a supporting boy, honest and trustworthy. The best half-brother he could have hoped or wished to get.
- It’s true we don’t have class tomorrow, Matthew pointed out. If we ask, Papa and Dad may allow us to stay awake with them
Alfred made a little dance of victory.
- Good! So what do we do tonight? Wii? TV? Family game?
- We don’t have TV here, Matthew grimaced. It’s an old house and Papa doesn’t want anything too modern.
He tried to justify by adding:
- It’s not really needed. We spend most of our time outside when we come for the week-end.
- Family game, then?
- There are some in the cave…
- Which one do we choose? Alfred asked with a huge smile, failing at hiding his excitation.
Matthew hesitated. He wasn’t sure. Alfred liked strategy games and he didn’t really - he was good, but attacking, conquering wasn’t what he liked. No way either they played Snake and Ladders, or the Dada, because even if they were Matthew’s favorites, the others would find it boring, wouldn’t they?
The answer though came naturally, because while a silence fell between the two boys, the lyrics and tune of music played on the radio fully registered into Matthew’s mind - Alfred was totally oblivious because not being able to speak a word in French.
Je vends ma carte chance
Et je puise dans la caisse
On a bien mérité
De toucher une avance
Si c'est pour rendre la caisse
A la communauté.
Of course ! Why did they not immediately think of it? Everybody loved that game!
Je passe à l'action
Quitte à monopoliser l'attention
Et rester quelques tours en prison
_______________________________
- Why don’t you fucking have a washing-machine?
- I usually come only with Matthew. So I don’t really see the point of spending money for si peu de vaisselle.
- Maybe you should think of investing.
Francis’ face brightened with a huge smile. Arthur was always so blunt in his innuendos - because what else could that mean except the English pseudo-gentleman was decided to stay in his life? Save for the children in the next room and the frying pan in his lover’s hands, he would have succumbed to the urge of having him right and now on the kitchen floor to thank him.
- Stop being so delicious, I already had a dessert; it would be so bad for my health.
Arthur raised an eyebrow and was probably preparing to express loudly his puritan indignation, when their two boys entered the kitchen in a storm. Alfred more precisely. Matthew was only following him and took the time to close delicately the door with an apologetic smile.
- Have you finished? The boy asked, oblivious at Francis nearly snuggling his father.
- Why? The French man whined.
- Can you please, Alfred, be more polite. I didn’t spend 14 years how to say ‘excuse me’, Arthur replied while trying to punch his lover’s hands away from him.
Alfred made a pause, before storming again:
- Matthew and I would like us to play Monopoly together! Can we? Can we?
The two parents stared at the boys, stopping dead the fight they were waging. Alfred was jumping from excitement, and Matthew playing with his fingers, waiting for the answer. Then they stared at each other, and a silent discussion began, made of raised eyebrows, pouts, languid expression, and electric atmosphere to decide if they should grant this request. As Matthew had foreseen it, Arthur and Francis weren’t against the idea of their children spending the evening with them, and their exchange was more like a negotiation of the conditions.
And in the end of whatever point they were discussing, Arthur won and, without letting go of his frying pan, he kicked Francis’ ass with one of his foot.
- Go and get the Monopoly while I finish!
- Ouiiii. J’ai compris…
Francis disappeared during 5 minutes, living the kitchen with puppy eyes and a sore backside under the cheers of the teens. In the meantime Arthur quickly finished the dishes, helped by the two boys who processed to dry it and put it into the cabinet. Suddenly a cry of victory rose from behind the door.
- Trouvé! Found it!
- Yeaaaaah!
Alfred and Matthew ran into the living room to see Francis already opening the box he had put on the table. The boys approached it, and Alfred discovered the version of the Monopoly. Taking the board into his hands, he studied it during a little while, admiring the name in French and trying to decipher something.
- Is it a special version?
- Kind of a European version I got when the euro arrived, Francis answered. The most common one is the one with Parisian streets. La rue de la Paix is the most expensive, you see?
The Frenchman put his finger above the dark-blue case with a French flag, then explained:
- You also have versions for each region, a French version with names of the town, but I wouldn’t advise it to you. On the contrary, the best version is the Montcuq-Aiiiiiie! What the hell is THAT?
- You won’t talk about your ass in front of my child.
Arthur appeared into the room, still holding the dishtowel he used to slap his lover with. He wasn’t even angry, or disgusted. Matthew actually thought getting his papa’s perverseness in check was becoming a reflex to the Englishman. A violent response or a second nature. Under the reproachful glare of Francis, he sat on a chair, and crossed his arms, a small smile on his lips.
- But it’s not my fault if Montcuq is so famous! I’m sure you’d like it once you visited it, Francis moaned in despair.
- I doubt it.
- You English has no humor.
With a dramatic shrug, he installed the game on the table and reorganized the bank, while Alfred and Matthew decided to choose their pawns. Alfred took Big Ben just when Arthur was about to take it to honor his father’s country. The nonplussed father chose the Sagrada Familia by default. Matthew first hesitated, but to honor his love to Gilbert took the Brandenburg Door. His papa always said love was the most precious thing after all - and Francis was a fan of the Eiffel tower anyway.
- Hmm who makes the bank? Matthew timidly
- Me, Arthur announced without any surprise - he was dealing with money in real life after all.
- It’s with Euros; do you think you’ll be able to do it?
- Francis, la ferme. Or I buy your country and destroy the Riviera with my hotel, is it what you want?
- Ah then, you’ll have to pay the price. France costs cher. But I accept if you pay in nature.
Arthur got interrumpted when he was about to respond:
- Yes, I made a 6! Alfred suddenly yelled
Since his parents were arguing about meaningless adult stuff, Alfred had forced Matthew to start the game. After the first try, he went onto the Schiphol airport of Amsterdam and bought it for 200 €, which was a very good beginning - with a little luck, he’ll get the 4 airports. And now Alfred was all excited because he was about to buy Sofia for 100€. He was always so excited.
- Well done, Alfred. You can play again.
- Really that’s cool!
- But three 6 in a row, and you get into prison! Pay attention, Matthew reminds him.
- Exact. Sans passer par la case départ et sans toucher 20 000F.
As none of his love ones was listening to him anyway, the Frenchman didn’t add anything and waited for his turn to play.
No way he’ll let an English man buy France.
Notes:
- The Monopoly game used here is “Exclusive Euro edition”. With countries of the EU and monuments as pawns. France is the most expensive country (400 €) before Berlin (350). London is worth 260.
- The title “Rue de la paix” comes from the song of Zazie, a French singer and had a lot of puns about Monopoly. In the usual French Monopoly, the most expensive street is the Rue de la Paix.
- If you pronounce it with the Parisian accent, the village of Montcuq sounds like “mon cul” which means “my ass”
In 2007, a vote was organized to create a Monopoly version with towns of France the public could choose. Montcuq arrived at the first place, so was supposed to be the most expensive place of the game. But Hasbro refused to put it and suppressed it of the list- and created a Montcuq version of the Monopoly to soothe the irritated consummers.
- Expressions about the Monopoly passed into the everyday French language like “ne passez pas par la case depart, ne touchez pas 20 000F” meaning that you’re going to prison
French :
- si peu de vaisselle : so little dishes (to wash)
- ouiiii, j’ai compris : yes, I’ve understood
- trouvé! : found it
- la ferme : shut up!
- cher : expensive.
Recipient: k3llyb3an
Rating: PG - 13 (innuendos)
Prompt: Family game.
Notes: I know the person who asked this prompt had serious problems not so long ago, and won't probably read it... but I tried to do my best anyway .
And I didn't have time to have the fic beta-read (English isn't my mother tongue), so please don't mind grammar mistakes.
RUE DE LA PAIX
- Oh god, I think I’m going to explode!
-That’s your fault, Matthew replied, watching his half-brother rubbing his belly with energy, as if he was trying to speed his digestion.
Both of them had finished cleaning the table after the first dinner of the Christmas holidays, and their respective parents, Francis and Arthur, were now washing the plates in the kitchen. For celebrating the end of school and the beginning of the holidays, Matthew’s Papa, Francis, had decided to cook a dish of season - even if Matthew suspected he just wanted something quick to prepare to have enough time to get himself ready for the return of his lover.
- My fault? That’s that… all this cheese and jam and… the dessert, Alfred stuttered.
- You decided to eat I don’t know how much potatoes - a raclette isn’t really a light plate, and you took 3 parts of Paris-Brest afterwards.
- But I didn’t know!
Matthew tried not to smile at Alfred’s pout and cursing at the ‘unnaturally heavy dishes’ and refrained himself to pat his shoulder. Instead he went next to the bookcase where a radio post had been forgotten and turned the volume on, a little tune filling the dinner room. In the same time, Alfred sat without delicacy in front of the fire of the chimney.
The Christmas decorations or tree weren’t installed yet - Matthew and his Papa wanted the family to be reunited to do it together. Arthur working and Alfred studying abroad, in London, was making those gathering a little difficult so everyone was rejoicing of the prospect of spending the next two weeks together, in the old house of Francis’ parents in the province.
- God, I hope your Papa will not decide to cook more dish like this one during the rest of the holidays. Even a hero wouldn’t survive it!
-He will. It’s winter, it’s Christmas, and he’s a cook. If you had more judgment, you would eat less - or you’ll get fat when you’ll be a grown-up
- Pfff then, where is the fun? Anyway, he and Dad shouldn’t expect me to go to bed now, because I won’t be able to sleep in this state, Alfred continued as if he didn’t hear Matthew’s sentence. No way at all.
Matthew sighed. He was used to after all, not to be listened to. In class, if it wasn’t for his pseudo-maybe-one-day-if-he-confesses-boy friend Gilbert, he would be a shadow, even forgotten by his teachers. And Alfred was so self- confident, he was so bright, he was so … Not that he didn’t like Alfred, on the contrary! He was sometimes difficult to support, being hyperactive and all, but he was a supporting boy, honest and trustworthy. The best half-brother he could have hoped or wished to get.
- It’s true we don’t have class tomorrow, Matthew pointed out. If we ask, Papa and Dad may allow us to stay awake with them
Alfred made a little dance of victory.
- Good! So what do we do tonight? Wii? TV? Family game?
- We don’t have TV here, Matthew grimaced. It’s an old house and Papa doesn’t want anything too modern.
He tried to justify by adding:
- It’s not really needed. We spend most of our time outside when we come for the week-end.
- Family game, then?
- There are some in the cave…
- Which one do we choose? Alfred asked with a huge smile, failing at hiding his excitation.
Matthew hesitated. He wasn’t sure. Alfred liked strategy games and he didn’t really - he was good, but attacking, conquering wasn’t what he liked. No way either they played Snake and Ladders, or the Dada, because even if they were Matthew’s favorites, the others would find it boring, wouldn’t they?
The answer though came naturally, because while a silence fell between the two boys, the lyrics and tune of music played on the radio fully registered into Matthew’s mind - Alfred was totally oblivious because not being able to speak a word in French.
Je vends ma carte chance
Et je puise dans la caisse
On a bien mérité
De toucher une avance
Si c'est pour rendre la caisse
A la communauté.
Of course ! Why did they not immediately think of it? Everybody loved that game!
Je passe à l'action
Quitte à monopoliser l'attention
Et rester quelques tours en prison
_______________________________
- Why don’t you fucking have a washing-machine?
- I usually come only with Matthew. So I don’t really see the point of spending money for si peu de vaisselle.
- Maybe you should think of investing.
Francis’ face brightened with a huge smile. Arthur was always so blunt in his innuendos - because what else could that mean except the English pseudo-gentleman was decided to stay in his life? Save for the children in the next room and the frying pan in his lover’s hands, he would have succumbed to the urge of having him right and now on the kitchen floor to thank him.
- Stop being so delicious, I already had a dessert; it would be so bad for my health.
Arthur raised an eyebrow and was probably preparing to express loudly his puritan indignation, when their two boys entered the kitchen in a storm. Alfred more precisely. Matthew was only following him and took the time to close delicately the door with an apologetic smile.
- Have you finished? The boy asked, oblivious at Francis nearly snuggling his father.
- Why? The French man whined.
- Can you please, Alfred, be more polite. I didn’t spend 14 years how to say ‘excuse me’, Arthur replied while trying to punch his lover’s hands away from him.
Alfred made a pause, before storming again:
- Matthew and I would like us to play Monopoly together! Can we? Can we?
The two parents stared at the boys, stopping dead the fight they were waging. Alfred was jumping from excitement, and Matthew playing with his fingers, waiting for the answer. Then they stared at each other, and a silent discussion began, made of raised eyebrows, pouts, languid expression, and electric atmosphere to decide if they should grant this request. As Matthew had foreseen it, Arthur and Francis weren’t against the idea of their children spending the evening with them, and their exchange was more like a negotiation of the conditions.
And in the end of whatever point they were discussing, Arthur won and, without letting go of his frying pan, he kicked Francis’ ass with one of his foot.
- Go and get the Monopoly while I finish!
- Ouiiii. J’ai compris…
Francis disappeared during 5 minutes, living the kitchen with puppy eyes and a sore backside under the cheers of the teens. In the meantime Arthur quickly finished the dishes, helped by the two boys who processed to dry it and put it into the cabinet. Suddenly a cry of victory rose from behind the door.
- Trouvé! Found it!
- Yeaaaaah!
Alfred and Matthew ran into the living room to see Francis already opening the box he had put on the table. The boys approached it, and Alfred discovered the version of the Monopoly. Taking the board into his hands, he studied it during a little while, admiring the name in French and trying to decipher something.
- Is it a special version?
- Kind of a European version I got when the euro arrived, Francis answered. The most common one is the one with Parisian streets. La rue de la Paix is the most expensive, you see?
The Frenchman put his finger above the dark-blue case with a French flag, then explained:
- You also have versions for each region, a French version with names of the town, but I wouldn’t advise it to you. On the contrary, the best version is the Montcuq-Aiiiiiie! What the hell is THAT?
- You won’t talk about your ass in front of my child.
Arthur appeared into the room, still holding the dishtowel he used to slap his lover with. He wasn’t even angry, or disgusted. Matthew actually thought getting his papa’s perverseness in check was becoming a reflex to the Englishman. A violent response or a second nature. Under the reproachful glare of Francis, he sat on a chair, and crossed his arms, a small smile on his lips.
- But it’s not my fault if Montcuq is so famous! I’m sure you’d like it once you visited it, Francis moaned in despair.
- I doubt it.
- You English has no humor.
With a dramatic shrug, he installed the game on the table and reorganized the bank, while Alfred and Matthew decided to choose their pawns. Alfred took Big Ben just when Arthur was about to take it to honor his father’s country. The nonplussed father chose the Sagrada Familia by default. Matthew first hesitated, but to honor his love to Gilbert took the Brandenburg Door. His papa always said love was the most precious thing after all - and Francis was a fan of the Eiffel tower anyway.
- Hmm who makes the bank? Matthew timidly
- Me, Arthur announced without any surprise - he was dealing with money in real life after all.
- It’s with Euros; do you think you’ll be able to do it?
- Francis, la ferme. Or I buy your country and destroy the Riviera with my hotel, is it what you want?
- Ah then, you’ll have to pay the price. France costs cher. But I accept if you pay in nature.
Arthur got interrumpted when he was about to respond:
- Yes, I made a 6! Alfred suddenly yelled
Since his parents were arguing about meaningless adult stuff, Alfred had forced Matthew to start the game. After the first try, he went onto the Schiphol airport of Amsterdam and bought it for 200 €, which was a very good beginning - with a little luck, he’ll get the 4 airports. And now Alfred was all excited because he was about to buy Sofia for 100€. He was always so excited.
- Well done, Alfred. You can play again.
- Really that’s cool!
- But three 6 in a row, and you get into prison! Pay attention, Matthew reminds him.
- Exact. Sans passer par la case départ et sans toucher 20 000F.
As none of his love ones was listening to him anyway, the Frenchman didn’t add anything and waited for his turn to play.
No way he’ll let an English man buy France.
Notes:
- The Monopoly game used here is “Exclusive Euro edition”. With countries of the EU and monuments as pawns. France is the most expensive country (400 €) before Berlin (350). London is worth 260.
- The title “Rue de la paix” comes from the song of Zazie, a French singer and had a lot of puns about Monopoly. In the usual French Monopoly, the most expensive street is the Rue de la Paix.
- If you pronounce it with the Parisian accent, the village of Montcuq sounds like “mon cul” which means “my ass”
In 2007, a vote was organized to create a Monopoly version with towns of France the public could choose. Montcuq arrived at the first place, so was supposed to be the most expensive place of the game. But Hasbro refused to put it and suppressed it of the list- and created a Montcuq version of the Monopoly to soothe the irritated consummers.
- Expressions about the Monopoly passed into the everyday French language like “ne passez pas par la case depart, ne touchez pas 20 000F” meaning that you’re going to prison
French :
- si peu de vaisselle : so little dishes (to wash)
- ouiiii, j’ai compris : yes, I’ve understood
- trouvé! : found it
- la ferme : shut up!
- cher : expensive.