Free Association...
Well I am attempting to figure out what to do with my life, or if that is not possible, at least what I want to spend my time studying for the next 2+ years. I love school, I love learning and that's the honest truth, but I just can't decide what to focus on. I want to write of course, I hope to someday write some sort of book, so I want to take classes that challenge me to write and find connections between different ideas and such, like my Liberal Studies class about India-rocks my world...But then I also want to help people in a practical way-So that is why I wanted to major in Human Services, because it is so practical and hands on, but I want to be challenged intellectually as well as as a person, and I've heard that human services is kind of easy...So I don't know about that-And then I love politics and foreign policy and social justice so I want to learn everything I can about politics and the world and everything like that so I could do political science but I don't want to work in some governmental bureaucracy where I sit around and watch fat white guys pretend to be smart and good for society, which most of them arn't, and I can't handle that-Plus they probably wouldn't listen to a damn thing I had to say since I have a vag...whatever...So I could major in english, poli sci, human services or some combination of the three, or I could go back to journalism? No I don't want to write for newspapers...Rolling Stone, yes, Independent magazines, yes, National Geographic, yes...What am I passionate about? Politics, social justice for sure, writing, helping people, studying the human complex, traveling, or we'll see after I travel this spring and summer...I just struggle with deciding what to do, because I want to practically help people but I also want to understand as best I can the world around me and so for that I want to be challenged intellectualy and all that business...I thought about being a lawyer but I'm not so good at argueing in front of people on the spot...So I just don't know...FUCK! I hate going back and forth...
Last night I saw Hotel Rwanda...it was one of the hardest movies I have ever seen, it beat Schindler's List I think, and I cried so much...call me a baby if you want, but I just don't understand how people can become so dilusionaly cruel. So the Hutu's are trying to drive out, eradicate all the Tutsies, who were given power long ago-So the Hutu's kill as many Tutsies as they can-babies and children too in order to eradicate the whole group of people that were created by no other reason than for the colonizers to seperate the native peoples...There is no real reason for the two groups other than the power allotted to them by the colonizers...And the ironic thing is, the two groups, the Hutu's and the Tutsies were probably both held down by the colonizers and yet they turn against each other...So I would like to blame the fight between them that resulted in upwards of one million deaths over the course of 1994 on the fucking colonizers who thought they had some manifest destiny call to take over the world. What made the movie and the whole situation so incredibly tragic was the fact that no one came to the aid of those being persecuted-those being slain by maschetes just for being in a certain group of people-In the movie a Red Cross volunteer recounts how she was at an orphanage trying to rescue children when a group of Hutus charges in and forces her to watch them kill the children...she recounts how one small girl with her sister on her back cried out "Please don't kill me I promise I won't be Tutsie anymore." Children have nothing to do with political situations like these, yet they are targeted and seen as the only way to pacify the situation. The same thing that happened in Rwanda in 1994 is happening while I write in Sudan-women who are raped by the militias are having babies, and then they are being told to kill them or cast them out of their communities. The babies, innocent and completely oblivious of the atrocities through which they were created, look like the arab men who are ravaging Sudan. When these children grow up, they will be physical reminders of the war being raged now. Their lighter skin and eyes will give them away and they will become scapegoats for the hatred being harbored by the people their fathers attempted to exterminate. When it comes down to it, politics divide people so drastically that they have no choice but to turn against another group of human beings who are the same as them save for the color of their skin or the region of their birth. It seems like people try to fight horizontally instead of look above at what is oppressing them both. Fighting horizontally just leads to more fighting-can an entire race of people be successfully exterminated? Probably not realistically speaking...but people keep thinking it is possible, and even necessary for their well being. I find it so sad that money and power drive this world. They're both overrated.
I don't think anyone will read through this entire prose, but that's ok-it was more for my personal benefit. But seriously see Hotel Rwanda-one of the many problems in the world is that we, especially us Americans, are so ignorant to what is going around in the parts of the world that don't really matter to us economically. A part of the movie that illustrates this point is an exchange between Paul (Don Cheidel) and a white journalist- Paul thanks the journalist for putting what he recorded on the news in hopes that influential countries could come in and stop the fighting-The journalist looks away and says well it will at least be a good piece of news, but realistically people will watch and say that's horrible and then go back to their dinners...something to think about.
Last night I saw Hotel Rwanda...it was one of the hardest movies I have ever seen, it beat Schindler's List I think, and I cried so much...call me a baby if you want, but I just don't understand how people can become so dilusionaly cruel. So the Hutu's are trying to drive out, eradicate all the Tutsies, who were given power long ago-So the Hutu's kill as many Tutsies as they can-babies and children too in order to eradicate the whole group of people that were created by no other reason than for the colonizers to seperate the native peoples...There is no real reason for the two groups other than the power allotted to them by the colonizers...And the ironic thing is, the two groups, the Hutu's and the Tutsies were probably both held down by the colonizers and yet they turn against each other...So I would like to blame the fight between them that resulted in upwards of one million deaths over the course of 1994 on the fucking colonizers who thought they had some manifest destiny call to take over the world. What made the movie and the whole situation so incredibly tragic was the fact that no one came to the aid of those being persecuted-those being slain by maschetes just for being in a certain group of people-In the movie a Red Cross volunteer recounts how she was at an orphanage trying to rescue children when a group of Hutus charges in and forces her to watch them kill the children...she recounts how one small girl with her sister on her back cried out "Please don't kill me I promise I won't be Tutsie anymore." Children have nothing to do with political situations like these, yet they are targeted and seen as the only way to pacify the situation. The same thing that happened in Rwanda in 1994 is happening while I write in Sudan-women who are raped by the militias are having babies, and then they are being told to kill them or cast them out of their communities. The babies, innocent and completely oblivious of the atrocities through which they were created, look like the arab men who are ravaging Sudan. When these children grow up, they will be physical reminders of the war being raged now. Their lighter skin and eyes will give them away and they will become scapegoats for the hatred being harbored by the people their fathers attempted to exterminate. When it comes down to it, politics divide people so drastically that they have no choice but to turn against another group of human beings who are the same as them save for the color of their skin or the region of their birth. It seems like people try to fight horizontally instead of look above at what is oppressing them both. Fighting horizontally just leads to more fighting-can an entire race of people be successfully exterminated? Probably not realistically speaking...but people keep thinking it is possible, and even necessary for their well being. I find it so sad that money and power drive this world. They're both overrated.
I don't think anyone will read through this entire prose, but that's ok-it was more for my personal benefit. But seriously see Hotel Rwanda-one of the many problems in the world is that we, especially us Americans, are so ignorant to what is going around in the parts of the world that don't really matter to us economically. A part of the movie that illustrates this point is an exchange between Paul (Don Cheidel) and a white journalist- Paul thanks the journalist for putting what he recorded on the news in hopes that influential countries could come in and stop the fighting-The journalist looks away and says well it will at least be a good piece of news, but realistically people will watch and say that's horrible and then go back to their dinners...something to think about.