Love is a SERIOUS mental disorder

Nov 17, 2004 21:55

Haven't written in here in like Forever...i've been updating in my other journal for a change...not like anyone really reads either one..but ughh i feel so much better but like i was telling my mom I HATE DANNY!! and i was telling her who he was going out w/now and i said some girl from that mental kind of place he went to..she is like good another pshyco that what he needs...then i said and some 9th grader and she was like oh god..then she's like good he needs someone that is in his mentatlity..I was like Oh i kno and i was Peeing!!! well not really but i was laughing Really hard..I love my mom and i can't wait to see her on friday! She is like counting down...I think she is more excited then i am haha..we will et into our fights..Im sure of it..but i mean come on..it wouldn't be a true reunion if we didnt!! umm i dunnno what to say on here! i mean i don't like LJ b/c I dunno i feel weird like a virgin to it lol..WEiRD i kno..but hey I am a weird person..GOtta LoVe it ..So it turns out i can't type lol

I Wrote everything about my feelings with danny on my xanga...and i did that so he can see it and SEE how I really feel once and for all... i HATE YOU DANIEL STEVEN SHAKESPEARE... I HATE YOU WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE..EVERY FUCKIN BONE IN MY BODY.. EVERY KISS I GAVE YOU.. IM TAKING BACK.. ALL THE HUGS AND THE TEARS I SPENT ON YOU... IM TAKING BACK.. IM TAKING BACK ALL OF ME... NOTHING OF ME IS LEFT FOR YOU...EVERYTHING IS MINE AGAIN... IM IN FUCKIN CONTROL.. MY HEART MY LIFE.. MY HEART IS NOT URS ANYMORE... YOU CANT STEAL IT FROM ME... YOU CANT.. I WONT LET YOU.. I KNO WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG.. AND I KNO THAT WHAT I AM DOING NOW IS RIGHT ..AND WHAT I WAS DOING WAS WRONG.. YOUR WRONG FOR ME...YOU ARE WRONG FOR THE WHOLE ENTIRE FEMALE RACE....NO ONE SHOULD EVER EVER GO THRU THE PAIN I DID WHEN I WAS WITH U.. NOT EVEN MY WORST ENEMY.. I FEEL BAD FOR THE NEXT GIRL THAT SAYS "DANIEL STEVEN SHAKESPEARE.. I LOVE YOU..I FUCKING LOVE YOU WITH EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE " BECAUSE I MADE THAT MISTAKE AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I HAVE EVER FUCKIN MADE IN MY FUCKIN LIFE... NOW ALL I HAVE LEFT TO SAY TO YOU IS "DANIEL STEVEN SHAKESPERE...I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU WITH EVERY FUCKIN THING THAT I HAVE" AND THAT... IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SAID!! GRR!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.. AND I DONT MEAN THAT IN A GOOD WAY EITHER! I HOPE YOUR PENIS BECOMES NON-EXSISTANT OR THAT YOU CAN NEVER GET HARD AND PRODUCE SPERM BECAUSE NO ONE NEEDS OR WANTS ANOTHER YOU IN THE WORLD.. YOUR A FUCKIN NUTCASE AND WE ALLL FUCKIN HATE YOU!THERE I SAID IT .. I SAID IT ALL AND I FUCKIN LOVED EVERY FUCKIN SECOND OF IT.. WHY MAY YOU ASK!? BECUASE U FUCKIN DESERVE IT AND UR A FUCKIN PRICK AND LIKE MY MOM SAID... AND LIKE JESS SAID.. YOU DESERVE A HEAD CASE LIKE YOUR FUCKIN GF!! WHAT THE FUCK... UR FUCKIN STUPID AND UGH I WISH I NEVER EVER FUCKIN MET YOU I WISH U DIDNT EXSIST AND YOU KNO WHAT I WISH EVEN MORE!? I WISH THAT I CHEATED ON YOU WITH JON BECUASE I COULD HAVE BUT I DIDNT .. AND GUESS WHAT IM FUCIN SEEING HIM ON TUESDAY!! OH WANNA HEAR SOMETHING REALLY FUNNY.. WHEN ME N U BROKE UP IN FEB.. WHEN U BROKE UP WITH ME.. I SAW HIM.. I SAW HIM AND I KISSED HIM AND I TOUCHED HIM!! SO THERE U FUCK!! I DID IT.. I DID WHAT U HATED .. I SAW JON.. AT LEAST HE TREATS ME RIGHT.. AND TREATS ME LIKE A PERSON! I WAS STUPID TO ALMOST THROW AWAY WHAT ME N JON HAVE FOR YOU!! OH EVEN BETTER.. I SPOKE TO HIM EVERYNITE B4 I SPOKE TO YOU!! AND YOU ONLY KNEW ABOUT IT THAT ONE TIME U HUNG UP ON ME AND MADE ME CRY ... FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!! THATS ALL I HAVE LEFT TO SAY.. AND IF I EVER SAW U ON THE FUCKIN STREET.. YOU ARE IN FOR A FUCKIN BATTLE FROM HELL..OH NO ITS NOT FUCKIN OVER UNTIL I TELL YOU ITS OVER AND UNTIL I AM FUCKIN SATISFIED.. BECAUSE U WERE IN CONTROL FOR TOO LONG BUT GUESS WHAT FUCKER.. IM BACK TO MY NORMAL SELF.. THAT SPELL THAT YOU HAD ON ME IS FUCKIN LONG GONE AND UR FUCKIN DONE.. I WIN YOU LOSE GAME OVER GOODBYE!!!

wow..That made me feel better..eventho i felt fine.. i knew i had more in me..Hmm Well thats all for now..i write everyhting in my other journal so idon't feel like repeating myself..but like i said Im happy Im happy again im back to the normal Nicole..and no one is going to hurt me now ...NO FUCKIN ONE!!
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