Boy, am I ever a loser

[what_is_right]

Here I am sitting, because I have nothing else to do but wait. Wait for Sonic to get on... which I'm guessing since it is 12:07 that he isn't. That he will be too tired when he comes home from being with his friends to hang out with me. Times like these I feel like I'm such a bother and annoyance to him. He says that I'm not annoying, but I know that there has to be at least one time that I annoyed him. I annoy everyone, Kiseki-san included. I'm such a sick sad loser. Sonic is supposed to see me tomorrow and I beginnig to wonder about that, if he will even show up at all... I'm a fan girl... a fan girl of my boyfriend... obsessed with him... and he is beginning to push me away. It saddens me, but I can't change his feelings... I couldn't control him if I wanted to... All most all my friends from Harlem never talk to me anymore... I succeded in pushing them away, forgetting about them... but I'm not giving up... I love him and I'm not gonna make the same mistake again... it would crush him... and I can't do it... it's gone on for too long... this is my longest to date... I feel like I do a lot just to please him... get his attention... I became a Sonic fan, and didn't even expose my Zelda fandom to him... I couldn't... he just couldn't know... That a lot of things I like are a spring from my Zelda fandom... my Utena fandom is a perfect example... the sprung me being bi, well that and it seemed like the thing to do at the time to fit in... but no matter what I try, I'm still a loser... obsessed with her boyfriend... I mean I figured since it was past 12, his friends would get tired and want to go home... but I guess not... whatever... I think I should go to bed... I have had a very bad day...
Kaba

I mean come on, he doesn't even understand my fasination with Tasuki. In fact he hates him. I know he does... because there is competition... I think I'm not going to the auction next friday...