Wedding Rant.
I've got some stress on me right now. Not just wedding-wise. I want to start taking pictures for money by next month, and I feel I still have alot to get used to on this damned camera; the state is taking too long to process Robert's paperwork, and he's now gone almost three months without a job while these people scratch their asses. We need money. Our apartment is still a mess, and my car is starting to smell because we can't get off of OUR asses and clean where things need to be cleaned.
Today, however, I want to talk about something wedding related that's been pissing me off. As a matter of fact, let me put it in open letter form, so that I may mail it out with my invitations. That way, people will get the gist:
To whomever it may concern,
No, there will not be any alcohol at our wedding. Not that I owe you any explanations, but it is cheaper, and frankly, it's safer. We have loudmouthed people on both sides of the room who would say or do something completely STUPID to ruin our day with just a little sauce in em, and I don't feel it's necessary to take the risk.
When you are invited to a wedding, you are invited in order to celebrate the joining of two lovers. You are invited because you are expected to care about the couple enough that you would want to be there to enjoy the atmosphere and the free food and drink and flowers and music that they are already treating you to. Put succinctly, you are supposed to care about the couple, not whether or not you can get trashed. If we are that boring, please check the little box that says "not attending" and send the card back.
On top of all this, you keep forgetting that the wedding is at NOON. LUNCHTIME. Who needs to get shit-faced at lunch? If you felt yourself looking into space and saying to no one, "I do!" Then please take the little extra card out of the envelope. It holds the number for a smashing addictions counselor. Please call him instead of us.
I will also issue fair warning to you: if you approach either me or my new husband after the ceremony to ask me where the alcohol is, you will be asked to dance your happy ass out to the parking lot and leave. Then, you can spend all afternoon in an ABC liquor store for all we care; just don't come back. If you can't simply enjoy yourself with all the other faculties available, so much so that you feel you need to be RUDE enough to complain to the HOSTS about not having something YOU want that WE would have to pay for (in more ways than one), then you should go find somewhere else where you CAN.
And, dear reader, that brings me to another point. Yes, the wedding is four hours long. That's plenty of time to say the vows, eat, schmooz, and dance off all the food you just ate. You don't need more time, and I don't want to hear anymore bitching about how "lame" that is. Unless, of course, you plan on paying for the extra time ($150.00 an hour), please just enjoy the time you have. Look at it this way: then, you'll have a chance to skive off to a liquor store and buy your liquid poison.
The main point of all of this is to ask you to respect our wishes. They are not difficult, or out of line, or demanding. They are merely individual wishes we had for our wedding. Constantly hearing about how "no one's going to have any fun" because of the absence of alcohol or because we didn't want a seven-hour reception brings us to feel as if our family and friends aren't actually in it to celebrate with us, so much as they are to try to get as much out of us as possible. When all of your focus is on something that isn't even supposed to be the focus of such an occasion, it bothers us.
So this goes out to all of you--especially my father, my cousins, my uncle, my future brother-in-laws, and a couple friends...though I love you all very much, I will say it again respect our wishes. If you can't, then be honest that you can't and don't bother showing your faces. And to define what I mean by respect, let me give you a few examples of what this means NOT doing:
- Sneaking alcohol in
-Showing up already drunk
-Keeping a bottle out in your car and skipping out periodically to take swigs
-Spiking anything
-Bugging us until we elect to open the bar.
In case that all looks familiar to you, it's probably because YOU were one of the SOB'S that found it necessary to threaten to DO one of these things if there is no alcohol at the wedding.
I close this open letter by saying this: if you receive an invitation to our wedding, it's because we wanted to share something incredibly important with you. Not because we wanted you to get drunk and fuck each other; not because we want you to bitch when it's time to go; and DEFINITELY not so you can insult our plans and simple requests because they don't reach YOUR needs.
So please, respect our requests. This way, I swear to you, it'll be more fun than you expected it to be. Loosen up and deal with it. I promise you don't need alcohol or seven hours to have fun. You just have to want to have fun.
And bring good gifts. We're registered at JCPenney, Target, and Sears. Thanks.
~Arianna and Robert.
Okay. Not really sending it, but it made me feel better. Done.
Today, however, I want to talk about something wedding related that's been pissing me off. As a matter of fact, let me put it in open letter form, so that I may mail it out with my invitations. That way, people will get the gist:
To whomever it may concern,
No, there will not be any alcohol at our wedding. Not that I owe you any explanations, but it is cheaper, and frankly, it's safer. We have loudmouthed people on both sides of the room who would say or do something completely STUPID to ruin our day with just a little sauce in em, and I don't feel it's necessary to take the risk.
When you are invited to a wedding, you are invited in order to celebrate the joining of two lovers. You are invited because you are expected to care about the couple enough that you would want to be there to enjoy the atmosphere and the free food and drink and flowers and music that they are already treating you to. Put succinctly, you are supposed to care about the couple, not whether or not you can get trashed. If we are that boring, please check the little box that says "not attending" and send the card back.
On top of all this, you keep forgetting that the wedding is at NOON. LUNCHTIME. Who needs to get shit-faced at lunch? If you felt yourself looking into space and saying to no one, "I do!" Then please take the little extra card out of the envelope. It holds the number for a smashing addictions counselor. Please call him instead of us.
I will also issue fair warning to you: if you approach either me or my new husband after the ceremony to ask me where the alcohol is, you will be asked to dance your happy ass out to the parking lot and leave. Then, you can spend all afternoon in an ABC liquor store for all we care; just don't come back. If you can't simply enjoy yourself with all the other faculties available, so much so that you feel you need to be RUDE enough to complain to the HOSTS about not having something YOU want that WE would have to pay for (in more ways than one), then you should go find somewhere else where you CAN.
And, dear reader, that brings me to another point. Yes, the wedding is four hours long. That's plenty of time to say the vows, eat, schmooz, and dance off all the food you just ate. You don't need more time, and I don't want to hear anymore bitching about how "lame" that is. Unless, of course, you plan on paying for the extra time ($150.00 an hour), please just enjoy the time you have. Look at it this way: then, you'll have a chance to skive off to a liquor store and buy your liquid poison.
The main point of all of this is to ask you to respect our wishes. They are not difficult, or out of line, or demanding. They are merely individual wishes we had for our wedding. Constantly hearing about how "no one's going to have any fun" because of the absence of alcohol or because we didn't want a seven-hour reception brings us to feel as if our family and friends aren't actually in it to celebrate with us, so much as they are to try to get as much out of us as possible. When all of your focus is on something that isn't even supposed to be the focus of such an occasion, it bothers us.
So this goes out to all of you--especially my father, my cousins, my uncle, my future brother-in-laws, and a couple friends...though I love you all very much, I will say it again respect our wishes. If you can't, then be honest that you can't and don't bother showing your faces. And to define what I mean by respect, let me give you a few examples of what this means NOT doing:
- Sneaking alcohol in
-Showing up already drunk
-Keeping a bottle out in your car and skipping out periodically to take swigs
-Spiking anything
-Bugging us until we elect to open the bar.
In case that all looks familiar to you, it's probably because YOU were one of the SOB'S that found it necessary to threaten to DO one of these things if there is no alcohol at the wedding.
I close this open letter by saying this: if you receive an invitation to our wedding, it's because we wanted to share something incredibly important with you. Not because we wanted you to get drunk and fuck each other; not because we want you to bitch when it's time to go; and DEFINITELY not so you can insult our plans and simple requests because they don't reach YOUR needs.
So please, respect our requests. This way, I swear to you, it'll be more fun than you expected it to be. Loosen up and deal with it. I promise you don't need alcohol or seven hours to have fun. You just have to want to have fun.
And bring good gifts. We're registered at JCPenney, Target, and Sears. Thanks.
~Arianna and Robert.
Okay. Not really sending it, but it made me feel better. Done.