(no subject)
i know i have to change. but it's difficult. i mean, am i supposed to go back to the way i used to be? because i feel like i don't know that girl anymore. and if not, how else should i be? i guess i've sort-of had it all planned out in my head. not perfectly. but a blurry outline of my life. one in which i was happy. and then it all went to shit. so now i'm left with a feeling of not knowing, which is the worst feeling. worse than saddness or rage. because its confusion, and confusion is empty. hollow. i have to change. this can't go on any longer. but just to be clear, i'm making this change for me.