(no subject)
I did what I had to. I feel like Frank from Donnie Darko when he's in the theatre & looks over & says, "I'm so sorry" I'm not sure why I feel like that. I did what had to be done. I've just got to trust that it will work for good, and have faith that eventually things will be right. It has been a tough week, but then again, it's not exactly been an easy life so far either. What is it w/people wanting to hurt me. I do a decent enough job of hurting myself anyway, why do people think that I need help with that, and why would someone that knows the kind of pain that I've already been through go out of their way to cause more. Especially when this person has said that they care. Caring about someone doesn't entail intentionally hurthing them. It's something I'll never put up with. What's strange is that I still care. I just put everything on the line, so that this person could get help. Even if it means not having what I want or even ever having a chance at what I want ever again. Somehow I don't think person will understand it, but oh well. I look like Judas right now I'm sure. I've got to trust in God that this'll all work out. I feel quite conflicted. I'm not as upset as I normally would be, because I know that I have to have faith that all this is going to work out. Faith is a funny thing. . . I'm more or less just out on a limb here now. I made the leap, I just have to see where I land.