(no subject)
well, here we are again.
my weight is still hovering around 230. thankfully it hasn't gone much above that in the time since I last posted here.
in the last year I have had a few ups and downs in relationships and some major life changes. I moved to central Virginia and I'm now a high school teacher.
I started working out at curves and I still go but not as often as I should. I've been seriously contemplating vegetarianism. Today (after I sleep and wake up again since it's 1 in the morning) I will throw out all the junk food and go to the grocery store. Only healthy foods will be allowed to darken my doorstep from here on out, and fast food will be dead to me.
anyway, i'm turning 25 next month and I'm angry with myself that I've never given myself the chance to be young and hot. I want to give it a go before I lose that je ne sais quoi of youth. I read a quote recently from an author who wrote a whole book about how she doesn't like her neck or something. She said that if she could do it over again she'd live her entire 26th year in a bikini and recommended that every woman who is still young should immediately go put on a bikini and live in it. it sort of made me angry, because 1) she's making the assumption that just because you're in your 20s you look fabulous in a bikini and 2) i've never looked good in a bikini. And even though I'm not quite 25 yet, I'm pretty sure that no one would want to see me in a bikini what with the cellulite and the stretch marks and the general white flabbiness.
The good thing is, i can change myself if I really work at it. I think I'm at a point where I'm not wanting to make these changes for anyone besides myself, and even though I said it was for me in the past, it was really to meet other people's expectations or because i thought it would help me bag a man. Right now I don't know any men I want to bag, and I'm starting to believe that the right one will come along when I'm ready for him, and I'm not right now. I have some inner issues I need to work out before I'll be ready for anyone, and I want to make myself happy first. Moving to a city where I know only 2 people has really given me the chance to do some mental self-reflection and sort out my priorities.
my weight is still hovering around 230. thankfully it hasn't gone much above that in the time since I last posted here.
in the last year I have had a few ups and downs in relationships and some major life changes. I moved to central Virginia and I'm now a high school teacher.
I started working out at curves and I still go but not as often as I should. I've been seriously contemplating vegetarianism. Today (after I sleep and wake up again since it's 1 in the morning) I will throw out all the junk food and go to the grocery store. Only healthy foods will be allowed to darken my doorstep from here on out, and fast food will be dead to me.
anyway, i'm turning 25 next month and I'm angry with myself that I've never given myself the chance to be young and hot. I want to give it a go before I lose that je ne sais quoi of youth. I read a quote recently from an author who wrote a whole book about how she doesn't like her neck or something. She said that if she could do it over again she'd live her entire 26th year in a bikini and recommended that every woman who is still young should immediately go put on a bikini and live in it. it sort of made me angry, because 1) she's making the assumption that just because you're in your 20s you look fabulous in a bikini and 2) i've never looked good in a bikini. And even though I'm not quite 25 yet, I'm pretty sure that no one would want to see me in a bikini what with the cellulite and the stretch marks and the general white flabbiness.
The good thing is, i can change myself if I really work at it. I think I'm at a point where I'm not wanting to make these changes for anyone besides myself, and even though I said it was for me in the past, it was really to meet other people's expectations or because i thought it would help me bag a man. Right now I don't know any men I want to bag, and I'm starting to believe that the right one will come along when I'm ready for him, and I'm not right now. I have some inner issues I need to work out before I'll be ready for anyone, and I want to make myself happy first. Moving to a city where I know only 2 people has really given me the chance to do some mental self-reflection and sort out my priorities.