sad news
One of my sophomore students, Josh Radosevich, died this week. He was training to be a jockey and was thrown from his horse when it broke its leg in a race. He got trampled on by the horses behind him and died on the way to the hospital.... It happened on Wednesday, and I think I'm still a little in shock. That seems to be the way death goes with me, at least in the beginning...
On Thursday morning, we had some of the counseling staff and our assistant principal come into our dyad class, Josh's first period, to make the annoucement. Amy (the History teacher) and I were a mess. As soon as I saw the kids, I started crying - and they were crying, Amy was crying... We talked about some about their reactions, how they were feeling, and we got out paper and markers for them to write notes to Josh's family. We basically had a grieving day. I felt like a mom instead of a teacher - hugging upset students, passing out tissues, making sure everyone ate lunch. My students have all been affected, even if they didn't know Josh that well. He was in that class with them for the past two years. And I think for many of them, Josh was the first really young person they knew who had passed away. For me too.
I went to his visitation yesterday with several of his other teachers, and it was sad... There were lots of photos of him around, lots of kids there from school...Amy and I were both crying before we even got to the casket. Josh was a really vibrant kid....He cared about riding horses more than I've ever had a student care about anything. He was funny, and I really liked having him in class. He always used to ask me if he was my favorite student, and I always said yes! I like my students, but I guess I hadn't realized how much I care about them until this happened. It was weird for me to see his body there in the casket, so young and without life to it - It really didn't look that much like him. And I think that's what helps me about seeing the body. It looks so unlike its living counterpart, that I know the soul -the real person - isn't there anymore. It's just a shell that used to hold the person... Josh's real self is probably in heaven somewhere, and I like that idea a lot more than it being buried in the ground.
I had not anticipated that this would be so hard for me.I hate marking him absent in our computer system. And my students are so sad. But I have had so many real, quality discussions with them since Josh died, which is one of the positive things that has happened this week. He opened that window for us...
On Thursday morning, we had some of the counseling staff and our assistant principal come into our dyad class, Josh's first period, to make the annoucement. Amy (the History teacher) and I were a mess. As soon as I saw the kids, I started crying - and they were crying, Amy was crying... We talked about some about their reactions, how they were feeling, and we got out paper and markers for them to write notes to Josh's family. We basically had a grieving day. I felt like a mom instead of a teacher - hugging upset students, passing out tissues, making sure everyone ate lunch. My students have all been affected, even if they didn't know Josh that well. He was in that class with them for the past two years. And I think for many of them, Josh was the first really young person they knew who had passed away. For me too.
I went to his visitation yesterday with several of his other teachers, and it was sad... There were lots of photos of him around, lots of kids there from school...Amy and I were both crying before we even got to the casket. Josh was a really vibrant kid....He cared about riding horses more than I've ever had a student care about anything. He was funny, and I really liked having him in class. He always used to ask me if he was my favorite student, and I always said yes! I like my students, but I guess I hadn't realized how much I care about them until this happened. It was weird for me to see his body there in the casket, so young and without life to it - It really didn't look that much like him. And I think that's what helps me about seeing the body. It looks so unlike its living counterpart, that I know the soul -the real person - isn't there anymore. It's just a shell that used to hold the person... Josh's real self is probably in heaven somewhere, and I like that idea a lot more than it being buried in the ground.
I had not anticipated that this would be so hard for me.I hate marking him absent in our computer system. And my students are so sad. But I have had so many real, quality discussions with them since Josh died, which is one of the positive things that has happened this week. He opened that window for us...