(no subject)
well, time has only brought me to a higher unwritten billet. my knowledge is beyond my capabilities and my rage has found a vent. i feel so much better then yesterday and that's an everday feeling. my plagues are just overrun by the thoughts of combat. every day i dream about killing but thats just a mere daydream. its more vivid in my eyes since i have the smell of carbon from weapons fresh in my head and the pink mist splattering in my face every thought of death. pieces of little kids spread across the road and pieces of the mothers dress who chased after her. the sound of rounds impacting the dirt brings me back to the days they used to have rocks on the playground. a blast isn't uncommon, and my neck still hurts from an IED blasted i survived back in august. when i wake up every 3 hours, it's because i didn't drink too much. its slowly went away, once i realized i'm here to teach these new guys. i constantly look out for them but i tell them im never gonna be a rolemodel and ill tell them when im wrong. i'm never wrong.