I survived!
Heya!.....
Its now saturday, about half an hour after daylight savings time. I managed to make it through the week. but UGHHHHHH. It was a LONG LONG LONG LONG one. I had two mid terms that i had to study for. and then that twenty page paper. SINGLE FUCKING SPACED! There are almost 70 people in this class. He put us into groups. A few two person groups, and a some three person groups and 2 or 3 four person groups. I managed to get into a four person group. Not that that helped me any. 2 other guys and a girl. The guy isn't from another country or anything i just don't think he understands any thing thats going on. The crack head is just a moron who can't go a sentance without cussing 3 or four times. And the girl is really hot. I ended up with a crack head, someone who doesn't speak english, and a bimbo. Now I'll give the girl credit. She really does TRY. She works hard and offers to help, but i made the poor girl cry. I was really frustated because we just found out that the repot had to be single spaced so i was a bit on edge... and she asked me "why didn't abraham lincoln offer advice to the president during the great depression?" WHY? WHY? cause he was lazy! all he could do was lie on his back! CAUSE HE WAS DEAD! so i asked her if she'd ever managed a thought in that head of hers. I admit that I was a total prick to her! Totally. I shouldn't have said it and i admit that. I feel honestly bad about it.
Ugh... and the paper, i got to page 16, and then stopped. I decided that he has almost 25 papers to read, 20 pages each and he promised them back by next thursday. So i stopped and wrote three pages about how much i hate him and how much i hope he gets hit by a car and how much he sucks as a person. lol i just hope he doesn't actually read it! We'll know once i get the grade back i guess.
lets see what else, Sham gave me the news that she actually got a position in NY. No surprsie there. She's good. Now the question is will she take it? I don't know if i want her to or not. she's AWESOME. She's one of my best friends. But if this is what is best for her i support her. But i don't want her to leave. I know that's selfish of me. but i don't want her to leave. :-( However if she goes, she said she'll be back next year. I just hope she's right. I hope its what she really wants. But like i said, I respect her decision and i support her no matter what she does!
lets see what else. Oh, Jeremy is still picking on me because i haven't managed to speak up and tell the girl i like that I actually like her. i don't know. I mean its not like i haven't had girlfriends before, i just never was all that sure of myseld around them. And i mean hell, after what i'lve been through being gun shy is understandable. I've been told i should "grow some balls" there are VERY few things I'm afraid of in this world. Snakes. losing my job, dissappointing my parents. and being rejected by a girl. thats it. jeremy and roxi both keep trying to be nice to me, and tell me that there are girls out there that like me. I keep telling them that drunk people don't count. ugh.... I dunno i'm just so timid with that stuff.
thats about it for now i need to go get my laundry out of the dryers.
Later
Alex
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
[Bridge:]
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
[Bridge:]
I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
[Bridge:]
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight
Its now saturday, about half an hour after daylight savings time. I managed to make it through the week. but UGHHHHHH. It was a LONG LONG LONG LONG one. I had two mid terms that i had to study for. and then that twenty page paper. SINGLE FUCKING SPACED! There are almost 70 people in this class. He put us into groups. A few two person groups, and a some three person groups and 2 or 3 four person groups. I managed to get into a four person group. Not that that helped me any. 2 other guys and a girl. The guy isn't from another country or anything i just don't think he understands any thing thats going on. The crack head is just a moron who can't go a sentance without cussing 3 or four times. And the girl is really hot. I ended up with a crack head, someone who doesn't speak english, and a bimbo. Now I'll give the girl credit. She really does TRY. She works hard and offers to help, but i made the poor girl cry. I was really frustated because we just found out that the repot had to be single spaced so i was a bit on edge... and she asked me "why didn't abraham lincoln offer advice to the president during the great depression?" WHY? WHY? cause he was lazy! all he could do was lie on his back! CAUSE HE WAS DEAD! so i asked her if she'd ever managed a thought in that head of hers. I admit that I was a total prick to her! Totally. I shouldn't have said it and i admit that. I feel honestly bad about it.
Ugh... and the paper, i got to page 16, and then stopped. I decided that he has almost 25 papers to read, 20 pages each and he promised them back by next thursday. So i stopped and wrote three pages about how much i hate him and how much i hope he gets hit by a car and how much he sucks as a person. lol i just hope he doesn't actually read it! We'll know once i get the grade back i guess.
lets see what else, Sham gave me the news that she actually got a position in NY. No surprsie there. She's good. Now the question is will she take it? I don't know if i want her to or not. she's AWESOME. She's one of my best friends. But if this is what is best for her i support her. But i don't want her to leave. I know that's selfish of me. but i don't want her to leave. :-( However if she goes, she said she'll be back next year. I just hope she's right. I hope its what she really wants. But like i said, I respect her decision and i support her no matter what she does!
lets see what else. Oh, Jeremy is still picking on me because i haven't managed to speak up and tell the girl i like that I actually like her. i don't know. I mean its not like i haven't had girlfriends before, i just never was all that sure of myseld around them. And i mean hell, after what i'lve been through being gun shy is understandable. I've been told i should "grow some balls" there are VERY few things I'm afraid of in this world. Snakes. losing my job, dissappointing my parents. and being rejected by a girl. thats it. jeremy and roxi both keep trying to be nice to me, and tell me that there are girls out there that like me. I keep telling them that drunk people don't count. ugh.... I dunno i'm just so timid with that stuff.
thats about it for now i need to go get my laundry out of the dryers.
Later
Alex
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
[Bridge:]
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
[Bridge:]
I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
[Bridge:]
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight