Lost...Confused...Spiraling Downward...
So today I'm feeling very, very lost. Actually, I've been feeling that way for a very, very long time now. Soon I will be turning 20 years old, and this makes me very, very sad. I will no longer be a teenager, but I still feel like I'm 13. I have no idea what I want to do, and time seems to be slipping by quickly. Very quickly. Soon my sophomore year of college will be over, and although I've finally picked a major, my heart is not into at all. Now God knows that I was not a big fan of high school, but I sometimes find myself missing it. A lot. As much as high school sucked on a day to day basis, you always knew in the back of your mind that one day it would be over and you would move on to bigger and better things. There was always that hope. Well, here I am, well out of high school, and things are bigger but certainly not better. And there's no guaranteed hope for the future. College will end in two more years, and I'll have to start a career in...something. That's a terrifying thought. Things look kinda bleak right now. I need to get my shit together and find out what it is I want to do with my life, and fast. Who knows how much time I've got? I'm seriously considering taking some time off from college to figure myself out...I was never ready for college when I graduated from high school, I was, still am, way too immature. Most people tell me that if I quit college I'll never go back. Surprisingly, my parents seem to support the idea of me taking time off to get my life sorted out. Seems they wish they had done the same thing. On a related note, I've started reading this book called The Purpose-Driven Life. It's supposed to help you find what it is God intended for you to do. You read one chapter a day for 40 days, and supposedly at the end you'll have it figured out. Right now I'm pretty skeptical, but I'm willing to give anything a shot. I've heard tremendous things about it. We'll see in 40 days.