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[whackadhaos]

Ah, I just noticed all the new people who just came here today, so I wanted to say hello to everyone! I know the City is a big place, so...

Welcome! My name is Cless Alvein, and if you need any help, then just let me know!

Comments

1/idk lmfao

[brbslashingyou]

[Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, SUDDENLY THERE'S A LOUD SOUND OF A HIGH-POWERED MOTOR COMING FROM UNDERNEATH THE FLOOR, accompanied by the deafening Oh-hohoho! Ohohoho! Oh-hohohohoho!'s of a girl that's rising from the ground.

And then there's a really loud, disapproving voice booming from the speakers THAT ARE THERE, SOMEHOW:]

No, no, no! You're doing it wrong!

[brbslashingyou]

Is that all you can offer? Your character is flat! You have no originality! You are just like any other knight in shining armor character willing to help everyone because of your pure and noble heart!

[brbslashingyou]

What you need is a dark and lonely past! In reality, you have never met your real parents and have been cast aside by your relatives, so despite your good intentions to help people you never get close to them because you are too afraid to care for them! You are afraid that they will leave you in the end, like everyone in your life has!

[brbslashingyou]

You would rather be alone and help people from afar, without getting close to them, because in the end it's better this way! Your already fragile heart will no longer be broken further!

[brbslashingyou]

But even then, you continue to hurt! To yearn for someone's love, for their gentle caresses and their whispers of sweet nothings into your ear! Why do you still feel this way when you know it can only bring heartache? Who will be able to love you and never leave you?

[brbslashingyou]

Isn't it exciting! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

DONE

[brbslashingyou]

Now, post this again! With more feeling and intensity!

1/??? LMFAO

[whackadhaos]

Um...

[whackadhaos]

[ Processing... ]

[whackadhaos]

[ PROCESSING... ]

THE END

[whackadhaos]

...I don't understand.

1/2

[brbslashingyou]

[!!!]

[brbslashingyou]

What is it I said that you don't understand? Haven't I spoken clearly enough?!

[whackadhaos]

U-Um. I'm sorry?!

[brbslashingyou]

No! NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

Say, "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, but I am a lonely and tragic hero who can only watch the happiness of others at a distance. What use is attachment, friendship, love, if it only hurts me in the end? I would rather stay alone forever than for my fragile heart to be crushed again."

With feeling!

lakdjfs

[whackanarche]

... holy. Shut the hell up.