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[whackadhaos]

Ah, I just noticed all the new people who just came here today, so I wanted to say hello to everyone! I know the City is a big place, so...

Welcome! My name is Cless Alvein, and if you need any help, then just let me know!

Comments

[myrodissopurple]

Aha hah HAH hah hah haaaaah!

A willing young bastard, ready to help the forces of justice!

Perhaps YOU are the one capable of handling my magnificent Action Bastard Bastard Rod!

[whackadhaos]

Excuse me?

[myrodissopurple]

[ Srs look ]

Please! You must help! The evil forces of Doctor Enema are closing in on all sides! Only by finding that one, special person capable of using my Bastard Rod to its full potential do we have a shot of pumping their evil bodies full of righteous justice!

[whackadhaos]

Evil? Attacking the City?

[myrodissopurple]

The entire world is at stake!

Please, you must join me in my quest! Doctor Enema is only but one force of darkness! Doctor Hitlerclone could strike at any moment!

Professor Asstopus!

The Deflowerer!

They are all dangerous foes!

[whackadhaos]

How can I help?!

[myrodissopurple]

I'm glad you ask, young bastard!

Just buy six bags of Action Bastard Crunchy Chips and send in your proof of purchase. We'll send you my Bastard Rod! Act now and we'll also send the added fan attachment for when your Rod needs extra width!

You can also buy Action Bastard Peppered Sausage!

Remember, Action Bastard says put your mouth on my sausage!

[whackadhaos]

...Action Bastard Crunchy Chips?