(no subject)
I really hate the idea of going back to school. I hate feeling like I don't have control over my actions. I hate having to worry constantly about my future. I hate the people that I am forced to be around each and every day. I want to make my own choices. Most of all, I want to be left alone. I don't want friends that just pretend to care. I don't want any more aquaintances. Right now, I just want people that love me. That would be hurt if I were to drop out of the picture, or to cut ties. I was reading a letter that was sent to me and it really got me thinking. I'm sick of being around fakers. If you don't care, don't talk to me. I'm sick of everything being so one way. I've been trying to lay off all of my friends this summer, to see who would actually care enough to try to hang out or get to see me. The only person that has called me all summer (besides Ian, although that's feeling pretty one way now too...) is Heather. That makes me feel so pathetic. If none of you give a damn, then don't pretend to when you see me in person. I'm really thinking that college is going to be a good thing for me.
I know, I know... I'm being selfish, but I'm allowed to.
I know, I know... I'm being selfish, but I'm allowed to.