some upstate humor...
> >Subject: Jeff Foxworthy on Upstate New York
> >
> >
> >
> > If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling
> > through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that
> > the food will swim by, you might live in Upstate New York.
> >
> >
> >
> > If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96
> >nights each year because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the
> >nation,you might live in Upstate New York.
> >
> >
> >
> > If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
> > you might live in Upstate New York
> >
> > If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the
> > year,! you might live in Upstate New York.
> >
> > If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't
work
> > there, you might live in Upstate New York.
> >
> > If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of
> > his forehead, you might live in Upstate New York.
> >
> > If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might
> > live in Upstate New York.
> >
> > If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might
> > live in Upstate New York.
> >
> > If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
> > dialed a wrong number, you might live in Upstate New York.
> >
> > YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:
> >
> >1. "Vacation" means going South past Albany for the weekend.
> >
> >2. You measure distance in hours.
> >
> >3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
> >
> >4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
> >
> >5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
> >blizzard, without flinching.
> >
> >6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
> >weddings).
> >
> >7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
> >both unlocked.
> >
> >8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend / wife
> >knows how to use them.
> >
> >9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
> >
> >10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
filled
> >with snow.
> >
> >11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
> >road construction.
> >
> >12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
> >
> >13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next
to
> >your blue spruce.
> >
> >14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
> >
> >15. Down South to you means Albany.
> >
> >16. A brat is something you eat.
> >
> >17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
> >
> >18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
> >
> >19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
> >
> >20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
> >
> >21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
> >
> >22. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to
> >all your Upstate New York friends
> >
> > Sad....but true!!!
> >
> >
> >
> > If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling
> > through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that
> > the food will swim by, you might live in Upstate New York.
> >
> >
> >
> > If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96
> >nights each year because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the
> >nation,you might live in Upstate New York.
> >
> >
> >
> > If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
> > you might live in Upstate New York
> >
> > If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the
> > year,! you might live in Upstate New York.
> >
> > If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't
work
> > there, you might live in Upstate New York.
> >
> > If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of
> > his forehead, you might live in Upstate New York.
> >
> > If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might
> > live in Upstate New York.
> >
> > If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might
> > live in Upstate New York.
> >
> > If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
> > dialed a wrong number, you might live in Upstate New York.
> >
> > YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:
> >
> >1. "Vacation" means going South past Albany for the weekend.
> >
> >2. You measure distance in hours.
> >
> >3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
> >
> >4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
> >
> >5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
> >blizzard, without flinching.
> >
> >6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
> >weddings).
> >
> >7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
> >both unlocked.
> >
> >8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend / wife
> >knows how to use them.
> >
> >9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
> >
> >10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
filled
> >with snow.
> >
> >11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
> >road construction.
> >
> >12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
> >
> >13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next
to
> >your blue spruce.
> >
> >14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
> >
> >15. Down South to you means Albany.
> >
> >16. A brat is something you eat.
> >
> >17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
> >
> >18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
> >
> >19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
> >
> >20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
> >
> >21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
> >
> >22. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to
> >all your Upstate New York friends
> >
> > Sad....but true!!!