Reposting, since I'm really looking for responses to this...
Well, not really, at least I don't think so. This is my LJ, after all, and the old "don't like it, don't read it" rule certainly applies, BUT, since there's some small chance that SOMEone might take offense to the general openness of my sexual dialogue, I guess I'll put it behind a Cut-tag. (whoop- she's talkin' 'bout sex... Better click
Right. So, "quiet-time" with my Master always leaves me feeling like a porn star. Admittedly, a really raunchy, hardcore pornstar, but still. It's a pretty good feeling, at least if you're me. (I'm a serious perv, though, so...) (I also apparently have an elipses fetish...) Which all got me thinking about kinks, fetishes, and the relativity of perviness.
I KNOW that he has yet by far to plumb the depths of my personal depravities, and I'm pretty certain I've yet to plumb his. I've tried to get him to open up and tell me about his personal squicks and querks, but I think he's still deciding what he's willing to share, even with his personal perv princess. Why? Well, for the same reason we all have things which we keep in our dark corners, unshared, and even sometimes unacknowledged by ourselves. Because we're afraid we'll freak others (or possibly ourselves) out if we let on. There are very few people in the world who actually face and interact with those shadow-desires.
What's my point and where am I going with all of this? (And when do I actually talk smut, like I promised pre-cut tag?) Perversion is extremely relative. Odds are decent that one or another of your lovers, in your lifetime, will be bothered more by something you consider harmless enough to admit to than they would have been by something you never dared to tell them. Personally, I'm pretty sure I'm unflappable in that department myself, and I've even been put to the test when an ex went psychotic, and started telling me about his secret longings. (They involved genital self-mutilation, to put it mildly.) It made me a touch uncomfortable, admittedly, but I felt no harsh internal judgement of his fetish. (The harsh judgement came later, when he started talking really psychoticly, while driving 60 mph way out into the country... yeah. got a little judgy at that point. Glad I did, too.)
Anyhoo, it occurred to me to do a general survey of perv-asciousness, to actually see written out how peoples' personal perve curves varied, at least within a narrow and heavily perv-biased sampling. (Y'all'r twistoids, and ya know it. And I wouldn't have it any other way. *S*)
So I've taken the notorious internet scene-negotiation checklist, and edited it somewhat, so it reflects not what it's subject has done, hasn't done, and would or would not ever do, but instead rates individual fetishes or activities on a scale from one to ten, to reflect how extreme/perverse one considers each act to be, within their personal frame of reference. (For example, I consider myself to be an extremely kinky individual, and am likely to rate several of the activities I practice often or would like to practice often, with a five or higher, while there are things I doubt I would ever do, but which I consider fairly tame on the perve scale.)
I'd say the scale looks a bit like this:
0: Beyond vanilla into yawning bordom. Not even worth doing.
1: Well, I don't think it's at ALL kinky, and I'm absolutely certain no one else does either.
2: I don't think it's at all kinky, but some devout religious people might.
3: Getting interesting, at least, but still not quite into the realm of "Kink" by my standards.
4: A tiny touch on the kinky side, but not more than a marriage counselor might suggest to re-spark a marriage.
5: Officially kinky, but not outrageously so- everybody has one or two of these hiding in their own closet, and they're only likely to share that fact with long term intimates.
6: Signifigantly kinky, possibly a touch on the perverted side. These are the secrets one might even keep from a spouse, for fear of recrimination.
7: Honest to Goddess Perversions. These are the things we are embarassed to admit even to ourselves.
8: Hard-core Perversions. Things we try very hard NOT to admit to ourselves if we can help it, and would lie if someone brought it up, even in a posative light.
9: Twisted and extreme. If we have any of these desires, they are coming straight from the Id, and we actively avoid knowing they exist within us.
10: Broken, Scary, Bad. The things we fear ever encountering in another, and can't even imagine ever feeling in ourselves. Even discovering a hint of such a perversion in oneself might be grounds for volluntary commital to a long-term mental health program. (I actually have one or three of these, and am at peace with them.)
Okay... now that's out of the way, here's the (far from exhaustive, but extremely inclusive) list. Take it, then you can keep it to yourself, or meme it out on your LJ if you're feeling bold and self-confronty, post it as a reply to this post (though it might be too long,) or drop me a private e-mail if you wanna contribute to my pseudo-study but want to remain anonymous. All such info I recieve will be documented then virtually shredded, and will never (in the spirit of LJ, after all,) be used against you, or indeed at all. Have fun kiddies... you know you wanna. (And if you wanna see my ratings, there's a link in the pre-amble.)
Right. So, "quiet-time" with my Master always leaves me feeling like a porn star. Admittedly, a really raunchy, hardcore pornstar, but still. It's a pretty good feeling, at least if you're me. (I'm a serious perv, though, so...) (I also apparently have an elipses fetish...) Which all got me thinking about kinks, fetishes, and the relativity of perviness.
I KNOW that he has yet by far to plumb the depths of my personal depravities, and I'm pretty certain I've yet to plumb his. I've tried to get him to open up and tell me about his personal squicks and querks, but I think he's still deciding what he's willing to share, even with his personal perv princess. Why? Well, for the same reason we all have things which we keep in our dark corners, unshared, and even sometimes unacknowledged by ourselves. Because we're afraid we'll freak others (or possibly ourselves) out if we let on. There are very few people in the world who actually face and interact with those shadow-desires.
What's my point and where am I going with all of this? (And when do I actually talk smut, like I promised pre-cut tag?) Perversion is extremely relative. Odds are decent that one or another of your lovers, in your lifetime, will be bothered more by something you consider harmless enough to admit to than they would have been by something you never dared to tell them. Personally, I'm pretty sure I'm unflappable in that department myself, and I've even been put to the test when an ex went psychotic, and started telling me about his secret longings. (They involved genital self-mutilation, to put it mildly.) It made me a touch uncomfortable, admittedly, but I felt no harsh internal judgement of his fetish. (The harsh judgement came later, when he started talking really psychoticly, while driving 60 mph way out into the country... yeah. got a little judgy at that point. Glad I did, too.)
Anyhoo, it occurred to me to do a general survey of perv-asciousness, to actually see written out how peoples' personal perve curves varied, at least within a narrow and heavily perv-biased sampling. (Y'all'r twistoids, and ya know it. And I wouldn't have it any other way. *S*)
So I've taken the notorious internet scene-negotiation checklist, and edited it somewhat, so it reflects not what it's subject has done, hasn't done, and would or would not ever do, but instead rates individual fetishes or activities on a scale from one to ten, to reflect how extreme/perverse one considers each act to be, within their personal frame of reference. (For example, I consider myself to be an extremely kinky individual, and am likely to rate several of the activities I practice often or would like to practice often, with a five or higher, while there are things I doubt I would ever do, but which I consider fairly tame on the perve scale.)
I'd say the scale looks a bit like this:
0: Beyond vanilla into yawning bordom. Not even worth doing.
1: Well, I don't think it's at ALL kinky, and I'm absolutely certain no one else does either.
2: I don't think it's at all kinky, but some devout religious people might.
3: Getting interesting, at least, but still not quite into the realm of "Kink" by my standards.
4: A tiny touch on the kinky side, but not more than a marriage counselor might suggest to re-spark a marriage.
5: Officially kinky, but not outrageously so- everybody has one or two of these hiding in their own closet, and they're only likely to share that fact with long term intimates.
6: Signifigantly kinky, possibly a touch on the perverted side. These are the secrets one might even keep from a spouse, for fear of recrimination.
7: Honest to Goddess Perversions. These are the things we are embarassed to admit even to ourselves.
8: Hard-core Perversions. Things we try very hard NOT to admit to ourselves if we can help it, and would lie if someone brought it up, even in a posative light.
9: Twisted and extreme. If we have any of these desires, they are coming straight from the Id, and we actively avoid knowing they exist within us.
10: Broken, Scary, Bad. The things we fear ever encountering in another, and can't even imagine ever feeling in ourselves. Even discovering a hint of such a perversion in oneself might be grounds for volluntary commital to a long-term mental health program. (I actually have one or three of these, and am at peace with them.)
Okay... now that's out of the way, here's the (far from exhaustive, but extremely inclusive) list. Take it, then you can keep it to yourself, or meme it out on your LJ if you're feeling bold and self-confronty, post it as a reply to this post (though it might be too long,) or drop me a private e-mail if you wanna contribute to my pseudo-study but want to remain anonymous. All such info I recieve will be documented then virtually shredded, and will never (in the spirit of LJ, after all,) be used against you, or indeed at all. Have fun kiddies... you know you wanna. (And if you wanna see my ratings, there's a link in the pre-amble.)