Mild Seasonal Depression
My first, recognizable one, in fact. All the other times in my life when I've been "depressed", there were good reasons, (sometimes as lame as pms, sometimes more solid.) Not that I was never clinically depressed, but the only way (without chemical tests,) to be really really sure a depression is clinical is for there to be no real explanation. And right now, the only reason at all for me to be unhappy, perpetually sluggish, and prone to random onslaughts of barely justified tears and belly butterflies is... Long periods of no sunshine.
I completely freaked out on Shadow yesterday. I must have sounded like I had the worst pms moodies EVER. All my lessons in stiff upper lip went right out the window, and I was sure that he didn't love me, and wanted to be as far from me as possible, for as long as possible, as soon as possible, and I'm nothing but a huge burden on him, and he's probably felt that way for a long time now and... and... eeesh! It was awful. He was at work, so since I couldn't focus long enough to get any housework done and distract myself from the inner yuck, I sat there and wrote it all down, and when he got home, (looking completely normal and oblivious to my hysteria,) I rushed over and wrapped myself around him like a panicked four-year-old, in tears. He, as ever, was exactly the guy he never lets on that he is. I've said this before- when crisis rears it's head, and something is genuinely wrong, and I'm most certain he'll flip out and shut me off altogether, he's totally THE Man. He was all soft and "what's all this", and I told him I couldn't talk, and handed him the blatherings, which he quietly read, then smiled and said, "com'ere." Then he snuggled me until I'd chilled, and all that badness just melted. Have I mentioned how much I love that man?
So I went to bed two hours early, with big plans of how much I had to get done today, woke up at 8:30 when the postal guy brought a package, promptly went back to sleep, and slept until almost 2. When I woke, my brain did a little OMG! Gotta get up! Then I fell asleep for another 15 minutes, and had to drag myself up to get coffee and clothes. I'm achey, and vaguely ~bleh~... I have millions of projects, some new and some that have been underway for months, and none of the can hold my interest for long enough to even get a start on them.
Yup. Gotta be S.A.D. Nothing else makes any sense. Unless I'm going through an early menopause. THAT would SUCK. (No hot flashes though, and the mood swings are pretty few and far between.)
So. Anybody know what vitamins and stuff I should take to fix it?
I completely freaked out on Shadow yesterday. I must have sounded like I had the worst pms moodies EVER. All my lessons in stiff upper lip went right out the window, and I was sure that he didn't love me, and wanted to be as far from me as possible, for as long as possible, as soon as possible, and I'm nothing but a huge burden on him, and he's probably felt that way for a long time now and... and... eeesh! It was awful. He was at work, so since I couldn't focus long enough to get any housework done and distract myself from the inner yuck, I sat there and wrote it all down, and when he got home, (looking completely normal and oblivious to my hysteria,) I rushed over and wrapped myself around him like a panicked four-year-old, in tears. He, as ever, was exactly the guy he never lets on that he is. I've said this before- when crisis rears it's head, and something is genuinely wrong, and I'm most certain he'll flip out and shut me off altogether, he's totally THE Man. He was all soft and "what's all this", and I told him I couldn't talk, and handed him the blatherings, which he quietly read, then smiled and said, "com'ere." Then he snuggled me until I'd chilled, and all that badness just melted. Have I mentioned how much I love that man?
So I went to bed two hours early, with big plans of how much I had to get done today, woke up at 8:30 when the postal guy brought a package, promptly went back to sleep, and slept until almost 2. When I woke, my brain did a little OMG! Gotta get up! Then I fell asleep for another 15 minutes, and had to drag myself up to get coffee and clothes. I'm achey, and vaguely ~bleh~... I have millions of projects, some new and some that have been underway for months, and none of the can hold my interest for long enough to even get a start on them.
Yup. Gotta be S.A.D. Nothing else makes any sense. Unless I'm going through an early menopause. THAT would SUCK. (No hot flashes though, and the mood swings are pretty few and far between.)
So. Anybody know what vitamins and stuff I should take to fix it?