a vicious circle
So how can you still feel so strong for someone that hurt you so badly. Shes just so beautiful. Not just in looks but as a person. Shes so thankful for everything and so honest... simply just herself. Its weird we've been hanging out so much and im so glad that the friendship is there, i feel like she did so much for me in the past helpin me get through hard times. Plus her family and i get along so well i love her mom to death and her step dad is so cool i enjoyed talkin botu grillin, cars and motorcycles. Hes a boost junkie too just on bikes not cars. But i know it won't go past friends something may happen we've kissed whatever but i know that as far as it goes. I feel like i annoy her at times. And shes been hurt so bad before that she isn't trusting towards men.
Plus i have myself in between a rock and a hard place with girls right now.
But on the up note im goin to find an apartment in br soon. A one bedroom. I'm puttin the skyline in the paper, gonna finish the supra and i believe i have a buyer for the RX8 local... auctually its this girls mom who wants it badly.
I think im just gonna go ahead and do a semester at BRCC and get my grades hwo they should've been all along i just needed some maturity. Plus im gonna get tested for ADD i have a problem with keepin a routine.
Damn im listenin to her talk now she doesn't know im typing this and i just can't not think about her im havin this desire to just kiss her so passionatly and i dunno if she'll go for it...
Its been nice to have someoen to sleep next too these couple nights even though there wasn't a sexual involvement but the comfort and the warmth is intoxicating. I get so lonely in mandeville... with her there the past couple days its been so much better.
Mrs. Terri seems to love her to death and my dad likes her a lot too i can tell. She like them, loves mrs. terri and likes my dad more now too. Hes very changed since mrs. terri hes a lot nicer and happier all the time. I think its all for the best.
I'm worried bout tellin my mom we won't be able to see grandma fox on our trip cause she isn't welcome there nemore... i don't think she knows this and its gonna be hard for me to tell her. I worry bout my mom so much shes such a wonderful person and i could've never asked for more in a mother. I'm scarred for her its hard i feel like a bad son i want to make her happy so badly want her to be proud of me... to be able to say my son accomplished this. I wish i could suppourt her so she didn't have to work... if i become a dr im gonna buy her a house and car and pay for her to live so she doesn't have to work till shes 70 this divorce changed her money situation a lot. My dad is fine cause he makes so much money due to work and stocks, but she just has her job that gets her by and then a lil more. God this makes me sad now i need to go i need to be held. i hope she holds me tonight i need it....
I NEED TO BE COMFORTED PLEASE HOLD ME....... PLease baby............,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........
Plus i have myself in between a rock and a hard place with girls right now.
But on the up note im goin to find an apartment in br soon. A one bedroom. I'm puttin the skyline in the paper, gonna finish the supra and i believe i have a buyer for the RX8 local... auctually its this girls mom who wants it badly.
I think im just gonna go ahead and do a semester at BRCC and get my grades hwo they should've been all along i just needed some maturity. Plus im gonna get tested for ADD i have a problem with keepin a routine.
Damn im listenin to her talk now she doesn't know im typing this and i just can't not think about her im havin this desire to just kiss her so passionatly and i dunno if she'll go for it...
Its been nice to have someoen to sleep next too these couple nights even though there wasn't a sexual involvement but the comfort and the warmth is intoxicating. I get so lonely in mandeville... with her there the past couple days its been so much better.
Mrs. Terri seems to love her to death and my dad likes her a lot too i can tell. She like them, loves mrs. terri and likes my dad more now too. Hes very changed since mrs. terri hes a lot nicer and happier all the time. I think its all for the best.
I'm worried bout tellin my mom we won't be able to see grandma fox on our trip cause she isn't welcome there nemore... i don't think she knows this and its gonna be hard for me to tell her. I worry bout my mom so much shes such a wonderful person and i could've never asked for more in a mother. I'm scarred for her its hard i feel like a bad son i want to make her happy so badly want her to be proud of me... to be able to say my son accomplished this. I wish i could suppourt her so she didn't have to work... if i become a dr im gonna buy her a house and car and pay for her to live so she doesn't have to work till shes 70 this divorce changed her money situation a lot. My dad is fine cause he makes so much money due to work and stocks, but she just has her job that gets her by and then a lil more. God this makes me sad now i need to go i need to be held. i hope she holds me tonight i need it....
I NEED TO BE COMFORTED PLEASE HOLD ME....... PLease baby............,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........