(no subject)
So yes, recently I was suspended from the University of Illinois. My opinion -- good riddance. Apparently the rest of the world thinks different.
I had the option to just not smoke & I could have stayed easily. However, I smoked and therefore failed a drug test. I brought in pee and could have used it, but i was an idiot and put my own in there. Either way, I'm gone now and I could really care less. It's obvious I didn't want to stay. But now do I want to go back? Well before I can even try to get back in I have to complete 100 hours of community service and get one-on-one AND group drug counseling. What the fuck? I smoke pot sometimes, and apparently I have a massive drug problem. Fuck that U of I.
I'm debating on whether I even want to try to get back in. I know, I know, I know SO bad how a degree will help me find a job in the future. But what I really want to do is just go live in Paris for awhile, not even that long, but at least 3 months. I just want to see where my mind will be after my duration spent there. I know changing locations is a good way to make up your mind, so I just want to see what my take on life will be after I live in Paris for awhile. I would like to go back to school and just finish it off just to have it done and over with. However, I can not afford college straight up, so I have to get loans. These loans, and having to pay them back, will take an additional 3-4 years. So if I be cool and stay in school, I'm not looking at moving to Paris anytime soon.
I'm sorry but I'm just sick of being in Illinois and not feeling like I'm making any progress in my life. I honestly feel like college is hindering me. I see these people who go to class most of the time and do their homework and just try and it seems like they kind of know what they want to do, so they're doing this to help them do that. I have no idea what I want to do, so why put off trying anything for 5-6 more years?! To me it just doesn't make sense. But I'm just so confused on what to do. I could just go to Paris this summer and live/work, but I can't afford it yet. I could go in a year or so, but then I wouldn't be going back to school for awhile.
Optimally I'd like to do both: finish school & live in Paris. I'm not saying Paris has all the answers, but I'm not seeing any lying around here so I feel if I just try this thing that I've wanted to do for so long, I'll either love it and continue down that path in my life. Or, I will hate it and be like, well I'll just go back to school...why not? It's just I have a house next year from Aug '05 to Aug '06, so that means I gotta pay rent there and any other expenses I'll have. I'm just looking for a little insight is all to help me make a more informed decision about my future. Thank you all.
I had the option to just not smoke & I could have stayed easily. However, I smoked and therefore failed a drug test. I brought in pee and could have used it, but i was an idiot and put my own in there. Either way, I'm gone now and I could really care less. It's obvious I didn't want to stay. But now do I want to go back? Well before I can even try to get back in I have to complete 100 hours of community service and get one-on-one AND group drug counseling. What the fuck? I smoke pot sometimes, and apparently I have a massive drug problem. Fuck that U of I.
I'm debating on whether I even want to try to get back in. I know, I know, I know SO bad how a degree will help me find a job in the future. But what I really want to do is just go live in Paris for awhile, not even that long, but at least 3 months. I just want to see where my mind will be after my duration spent there. I know changing locations is a good way to make up your mind, so I just want to see what my take on life will be after I live in Paris for awhile. I would like to go back to school and just finish it off just to have it done and over with. However, I can not afford college straight up, so I have to get loans. These loans, and having to pay them back, will take an additional 3-4 years. So if I be cool and stay in school, I'm not looking at moving to Paris anytime soon.
I'm sorry but I'm just sick of being in Illinois and not feeling like I'm making any progress in my life. I honestly feel like college is hindering me. I see these people who go to class most of the time and do their homework and just try and it seems like they kind of know what they want to do, so they're doing this to help them do that. I have no idea what I want to do, so why put off trying anything for 5-6 more years?! To me it just doesn't make sense. But I'm just so confused on what to do. I could just go to Paris this summer and live/work, but I can't afford it yet. I could go in a year or so, but then I wouldn't be going back to school for awhile.
Optimally I'd like to do both: finish school & live in Paris. I'm not saying Paris has all the answers, but I'm not seeing any lying around here so I feel if I just try this thing that I've wanted to do for so long, I'll either love it and continue down that path in my life. Or, I will hate it and be like, well I'll just go back to school...why not? It's just I have a house next year from Aug '05 to Aug '06, so that means I gotta pay rent there and any other expenses I'll have. I'm just looking for a little insight is all to help me make a more informed decision about my future. Thank you all.