Aha! it all makes sense now!
From here...
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1. Do not go outside. Outside = Terrorism.
2. Tell everyone you know about the threat of terrorism. The key here is to scare as many people as possible into being cautious. Everyone knows that fear can fight terrorism, the more fear you spread, the safer you are.
3. Petition your sate and local government to install metal detectors everywhere. When your kids go to school, don't you want them to have the comfort of being searched every day? That is what makes schools safe.
4. All Muslims are terrorists, do not trust them. In fact, do not trust Blacks, Mexicans, Asians, or Jews. They may look innocent, but for all you know, they could be Muslim too.
5. Put the American flag everywhere. The more bumper-stickers, shirts, flags, and posters that support the US you have, the better. When terrorist see how much pride you have, they will leave you alone.
6. Keep a loaded gun under your pillow at all times. If the terrorist come into your house, you have a right to protect your family from being terrorized and the only way to do that is to shoot anything that moves.
7. Only watch CNN. They know everything about terrorism and what is going on the world and they never have any bias.
8. Realize that you are never safe. Even though no one from the middle-east has ever heard of your ass-backwards, hick town, it still doesn't mean it isn't a major terrorist target. Be prepared for attack at any time.
I hope this guide helped, and remember, never trust anyone that isn't yourself, affiliated with CNN, or George W. Bush.
______________________________
The definitive outline of the american way. Almost brought a tear to my cheek the first time I read it.
______________________________
1. Do not go outside. Outside = Terrorism.
2. Tell everyone you know about the threat of terrorism. The key here is to scare as many people as possible into being cautious. Everyone knows that fear can fight terrorism, the more fear you spread, the safer you are.
3. Petition your sate and local government to install metal detectors everywhere. When your kids go to school, don't you want them to have the comfort of being searched every day? That is what makes schools safe.
4. All Muslims are terrorists, do not trust them. In fact, do not trust Blacks, Mexicans, Asians, or Jews. They may look innocent, but for all you know, they could be Muslim too.
5. Put the American flag everywhere. The more bumper-stickers, shirts, flags, and posters that support the US you have, the better. When terrorist see how much pride you have, they will leave you alone.
6. Keep a loaded gun under your pillow at all times. If the terrorist come into your house, you have a right to protect your family from being terrorized and the only way to do that is to shoot anything that moves.
7. Only watch CNN. They know everything about terrorism and what is going on the world and they never have any bias.
8. Realize that you are never safe. Even though no one from the middle-east has ever heard of your ass-backwards, hick town, it still doesn't mean it isn't a major terrorist target. Be prepared for attack at any time.
I hope this guide helped, and remember, never trust anyone that isn't yourself, affiliated with CNN, or George W. Bush.
______________________________
The definitive outline of the american way. Almost brought a tear to my cheek the first time I read it.