ASHLEY
this is the last time i speak of this issue because no matter what i say you twist it around to be something hateful. obviously i have gone beyond hiding my anger (i.e. the first entry i made that started all this) so i think you should take what i am saying as my real feelings (however thats up to you):
First i am going to ask you not to read these words in that sarcastic angry tone that i know you must be hearing in your head because thats not the tone i would be using here.
this isnt and wasnt a disguised apology. What happened was i felt aweful and guilty for what i had done. everyone makes mistakes, even the best of friends can make the mistake of hurting eachother. AND YOU ARE NOT THE BITCH HERE. You're not a bitch at all. I was angry, upset, hurt. I wish I could have gotten the chance to talk to you about all this before. im sorry my mixed up mind has been sending you aweful confusing signals. I understand the frustration. so here it is:
Your last visit:
I didnt want joel to come. (joel i love you so dont be offended please)But he often tries innocently to include himself and i feel bad telling him no. cuz its hard to do that without him being hurt. I wanted so bad when you came up to spend some time just with you. I'm not jealous of you and amy. deep down im not. I am happy you guys share such a close bond. I have a great group of friends like that and we have the greatest times together so i know how important that is. all I want is to be able to share some "old-fashioned" ashley and angie time. like we used to. forget the emo bullshit lol. i dont want all of your time and devotion. I just want to feel like youre excited to spen a bit of time with me too. now.....
the Joe thing. im osrry that you think im dragging in people to defend me. its not the case. Joe has a mind of his own and he talks to me as himself. he has expressed his feelings which i have been able to relate to. we arent trying to gang up on you. i am starting to believe that joe and I having some of the same feelings in the situation is proving some kind of wierd theory about highschool and friendships.Maybe its just a fact that when your older friends finish highschool and enter their new lives they cant help but leave behind bits of their old ones. maybe its natural, and normal. I mean you live in boston. how are we supposed to keep up right?
im sorry (truely) about letting my bitterness get the best of me and making me act like such a child.I was wrong for that. and i dont mean a lot of what i said. the judgments i passed were just low blows to hurt you because i was hurt. I have always admired the person that you are. you are so strong, you take care of yourself and you deal with all the shit life gives you along the way. I admire that so much. and i admire the fact that you are yourself. no matter what people (like me) can say about you, you do what you like because you like it and thats who you are. everybody's tastes change. mine do to. and you could say tons of things about me and what a poser I am and it would all be true. because we are all that way.
ASh... Im a dick. lol. and im sorry. I've had lots of time to think about it. and where i still am hurt by some of the things you do i know that its not intentional and its not worth getting caught up in.
NOW... I would love to talk to you face to face. even if it doesnt solve anything, even if you just want to give me the finger. because this livejournal thing is "sooo like totally valley" lol no but seriously, i dont want this to happen. I want to know i still have a friend out there in boston that i can have a good time with whenever i get the chance to see her. no more getting caught up in stupid crap. i want to see you and go get an ice cream and talk a bit. because it is between you and I and no one else and because i miss you. and i realized i dont want to throw away the fun i can have with you just to be stupid and emo. and im sure Mr. Dube would agree that i am being exactly that. lol. so i hear you are comming up this week. if you are here on wed. that is my day off. call my cell phone and let me know your here and maybe if you dont mind you could squeeze me in for a bit. even 15 minutes is better than this. i really think we should talk. and not to blame, we've done enough of that. just to settle things. closure or a new beginning, whichever. i hope to hear from you.
-Angelina Jolie
P.S. nows your chance to drive me off a cliff with my hands out the window and my eyes closed! lol jk.
First i am going to ask you not to read these words in that sarcastic angry tone that i know you must be hearing in your head because thats not the tone i would be using here.
this isnt and wasnt a disguised apology. What happened was i felt aweful and guilty for what i had done. everyone makes mistakes, even the best of friends can make the mistake of hurting eachother. AND YOU ARE NOT THE BITCH HERE. You're not a bitch at all. I was angry, upset, hurt. I wish I could have gotten the chance to talk to you about all this before. im sorry my mixed up mind has been sending you aweful confusing signals. I understand the frustration. so here it is:
Your last visit:
I didnt want joel to come. (joel i love you so dont be offended please)But he often tries innocently to include himself and i feel bad telling him no. cuz its hard to do that without him being hurt. I wanted so bad when you came up to spend some time just with you. I'm not jealous of you and amy. deep down im not. I am happy you guys share such a close bond. I have a great group of friends like that and we have the greatest times together so i know how important that is. all I want is to be able to share some "old-fashioned" ashley and angie time. like we used to. forget the emo bullshit lol. i dont want all of your time and devotion. I just want to feel like youre excited to spen a bit of time with me too. now.....
the Joe thing. im osrry that you think im dragging in people to defend me. its not the case. Joe has a mind of his own and he talks to me as himself. he has expressed his feelings which i have been able to relate to. we arent trying to gang up on you. i am starting to believe that joe and I having some of the same feelings in the situation is proving some kind of wierd theory about highschool and friendships.Maybe its just a fact that when your older friends finish highschool and enter their new lives they cant help but leave behind bits of their old ones. maybe its natural, and normal. I mean you live in boston. how are we supposed to keep up right?
im sorry (truely) about letting my bitterness get the best of me and making me act like such a child.I was wrong for that. and i dont mean a lot of what i said. the judgments i passed were just low blows to hurt you because i was hurt. I have always admired the person that you are. you are so strong, you take care of yourself and you deal with all the shit life gives you along the way. I admire that so much. and i admire the fact that you are yourself. no matter what people (like me) can say about you, you do what you like because you like it and thats who you are. everybody's tastes change. mine do to. and you could say tons of things about me and what a poser I am and it would all be true. because we are all that way.
ASh... Im a dick. lol. and im sorry. I've had lots of time to think about it. and where i still am hurt by some of the things you do i know that its not intentional and its not worth getting caught up in.
NOW... I would love to talk to you face to face. even if it doesnt solve anything, even if you just want to give me the finger. because this livejournal thing is "sooo like totally valley" lol no but seriously, i dont want this to happen. I want to know i still have a friend out there in boston that i can have a good time with whenever i get the chance to see her. no more getting caught up in stupid crap. i want to see you and go get an ice cream and talk a bit. because it is between you and I and no one else and because i miss you. and i realized i dont want to throw away the fun i can have with you just to be stupid and emo. and im sure Mr. Dube would agree that i am being exactly that. lol. so i hear you are comming up this week. if you are here on wed. that is my day off. call my cell phone and let me know your here and maybe if you dont mind you could squeeze me in for a bit. even 15 minutes is better than this. i really think we should talk. and not to blame, we've done enough of that. just to settle things. closure or a new beginning, whichever. i hope to hear from you.
-Angelina Jolie
P.S. nows your chance to drive me off a cliff with my hands out the window and my eyes closed! lol jk.