The Judas Chicken
Nothing sells concessions like a good crucifixion. In other words, having a bit of pre-information, during the time of Jesus, I probably would have gone into concessions. Never let it be said I have a proper sense of guilt, eh?
Now, let us for a moment forget the son of god bit, and just say that Jesus had some really good ideas for his time, that he was probably a good fellow, and that with 2000 years of separation, its a damn difficult thing to get any reliable idea of what went on.
After all, we have a hard enough figuring out what happened in our own elections, murder trials, and which lizard we should elect to office. Adams was right. We sure dont want the wrong lizard in power.
So, instead of something somber and religious, especially as the extent of my religion is that I see patterns in things, and suspect something organized is taking place, Ill wander about the idea of the Judas goat for a while.
My brother is planning on getting piglets you see, and feeding them yummy slop. I work as a transport agent between two food banks, and when the leftovers would be thrown away, I instead pick through them, cutting the good half off a rotten tomato here, salvaging a bit of green pepper there, and so on. Its a good deal of work, but it has very yummy results. The rest of this leftover food goes to a pig farm. However, since I get first refusal on the slop, life is good.
So, hes getting two piglets, so they can grow up in a kind and loving environment, have a friend to play with, get named, and then be eaten. Theres this theory that animals that have had a good life taste better, that animals who got stuck in assembly line grow, kill, package works, dont.
So, this spring, piglets. If I get any say, were naming them Frannie and Zoe.
Meanwhile, my mom wants a chicken tractor. This is a pen you move from one part of the garden to another so that the chickens can eat the weeds, bugs, give you eggs, and then you eat the chickens too.
We need a control population, which the tractor provides nicely. We also need two other chickens. One will be talked to every day, told what a good chicken it is, held, and treated like royalty. The other one will be completely ignored, not even allowed to mingle with the general population.
If the chicken flavor theory is correct, chicken the first, who will be named Esmeralda, will be very tasty. The control chickens, they should be good, but not great. The un-nurtured chicken, named Baphomet, should taste less good than all the others.
So, having the control chickens is good for the garden, for eggs, and for our bellies. The experiment is good for our intellect, and in the end we have some nice pig friends we get to eat. After all, bacon is my favorite food.
Still, theres one more layer. Esmeralda needs a friend, a trusting chicken, who, like Esmeralda, knows love, care, and good treatment. Jude, well name this chicken, and Jude, as per Judas goat, will lead Esmeralda and the others to their doom, year after year. In return, Jude will never be eaten, and since chickens have very little in the way of cleverness, Jude probably wont even feel bad about it.
Mmm, chicken. Mmm, pig. Im hungry already.
I wonder if chickens like industrial music.
Now, let us for a moment forget the son of god bit, and just say that Jesus had some really good ideas for his time, that he was probably a good fellow, and that with 2000 years of separation, its a damn difficult thing to get any reliable idea of what went on.
After all, we have a hard enough figuring out what happened in our own elections, murder trials, and which lizard we should elect to office. Adams was right. We sure dont want the wrong lizard in power.
So, instead of something somber and religious, especially as the extent of my religion is that I see patterns in things, and suspect something organized is taking place, Ill wander about the idea of the Judas goat for a while.
My brother is planning on getting piglets you see, and feeding them yummy slop. I work as a transport agent between two food banks, and when the leftovers would be thrown away, I instead pick through them, cutting the good half off a rotten tomato here, salvaging a bit of green pepper there, and so on. Its a good deal of work, but it has very yummy results. The rest of this leftover food goes to a pig farm. However, since I get first refusal on the slop, life is good.
So, hes getting two piglets, so they can grow up in a kind and loving environment, have a friend to play with, get named, and then be eaten. Theres this theory that animals that have had a good life taste better, that animals who got stuck in assembly line grow, kill, package works, dont.
So, this spring, piglets. If I get any say, were naming them Frannie and Zoe.
Meanwhile, my mom wants a chicken tractor. This is a pen you move from one part of the garden to another so that the chickens can eat the weeds, bugs, give you eggs, and then you eat the chickens too.
We need a control population, which the tractor provides nicely. We also need two other chickens. One will be talked to every day, told what a good chicken it is, held, and treated like royalty. The other one will be completely ignored, not even allowed to mingle with the general population.
If the chicken flavor theory is correct, chicken the first, who will be named Esmeralda, will be very tasty. The control chickens, they should be good, but not great. The un-nurtured chicken, named Baphomet, should taste less good than all the others.
So, having the control chickens is good for the garden, for eggs, and for our bellies. The experiment is good for our intellect, and in the end we have some nice pig friends we get to eat. After all, bacon is my favorite food.
Still, theres one more layer. Esmeralda needs a friend, a trusting chicken, who, like Esmeralda, knows love, care, and good treatment. Jude, well name this chicken, and Jude, as per Judas goat, will lead Esmeralda and the others to their doom, year after year. In return, Jude will never be eaten, and since chickens have very little in the way of cleverness, Jude probably wont even feel bad about it.
Mmm, chicken. Mmm, pig. Im hungry already.
I wonder if chickens like industrial music.