Visions
So as I was going about my day today I was walking along side this guy who was on his cell phone, talking all high buisness and as I was walking in tempo next to him I got the image of my self ten years from now, walking along and talking on my cell phone to a costume designer. This lead to a fantasy of an office covered in set designs, costumes and scripts, meetings about seasons and me being an artistic director of the most socialy effective, high quality, challengeing theater in the country, I almost fealt guilty. And then I stopped and asked myself when did I stop dreaming? when did this voice of doubt of a constant luming question mark start lerking in the back of my head? Why do I feel guilty for wanting to be the best in my field and why do I envisioning it happening in ten years? I used to be dauntless and now I am always daunted. I will find the happy medium, daunted but determind to push through.
I just mss being creativw and more then that i miss colaborating. I always thought I wasn't good at working in groups but I realy miss it. I miss the interchange of ideas and energy. I miss helping other artist see there dreams come true. ALthough it is a nice change that my internal rasons for wanting to suceed have to do with the people I would get to work with and my own personal goals rather then the fear of disapointing anyone including myself. And it's now sleepy time.
I just mss being creativw and more then that i miss colaborating. I always thought I wasn't good at working in groups but I realy miss it. I miss the interchange of ideas and energy. I miss helping other artist see there dreams come true. ALthough it is a nice change that my internal rasons for wanting to suceed have to do with the people I would get to work with and my own personal goals rather then the fear of disapointing anyone including myself. And it's now sleepy time.