(no subject)
its been about two months. so really i should have something totally ridiculous to talk about. but i dont.
saw zara today. shes, of course, completely adorable and i hate her for that. because i was happy being on not speaking terms with her. that was a constant for about 5 years now. but now, oh no, she goes and plays it cool and i actually enjoyed her company.
on another note, my father attacks me on a regular basis about how im not living up to my potential. whatever the fuck my potential is, i wish hed hurry up and tell me instead of the psychobabble he pulls on me.
dad: why are you doing this?
me: i dont know
dad: i dont know isnt an answer. think. (pauses for about half a minute) i just dont get it, why dont you just do what i ask?
me: because i dont want to. because i dont like it and i like doing things my way.
dad: but you never get anything done your way. your obviously not listening to what im saying.
me: i am listening to you.
dad: then answer the question.
me: which one?
dad: why are you doing this?
sense the repitition?
so because of these neverending arguements ive come to realize that im scared to grow up. so instead i blame my parents. but can someone honestly tell that they dont do the exact same thing i do. why am i the weird one? the one that has issues.
my parents are getting me tested for ADD and im to start going to therapy because they are convinced im depressed. and my arguement against it. nothing. because FUCK IT it would be nice to chat with someone once a week and occasionally take pills which i can then sell off to anyone who actually needs it. and it this way i will make money this summer and my parents will be off my back! ah ha! YOU, YOOOOU
oh and that just reminded me that i am in love with robert deniro.
saw zara today. shes, of course, completely adorable and i hate her for that. because i was happy being on not speaking terms with her. that was a constant for about 5 years now. but now, oh no, she goes and plays it cool and i actually enjoyed her company.
on another note, my father attacks me on a regular basis about how im not living up to my potential. whatever the fuck my potential is, i wish hed hurry up and tell me instead of the psychobabble he pulls on me.
dad: why are you doing this?
me: i dont know
dad: i dont know isnt an answer. think. (pauses for about half a minute) i just dont get it, why dont you just do what i ask?
me: because i dont want to. because i dont like it and i like doing things my way.
dad: but you never get anything done your way. your obviously not listening to what im saying.
me: i am listening to you.
dad: then answer the question.
me: which one?
dad: why are you doing this?
sense the repitition?
so because of these neverending arguements ive come to realize that im scared to grow up. so instead i blame my parents. but can someone honestly tell that they dont do the exact same thing i do. why am i the weird one? the one that has issues.
my parents are getting me tested for ADD and im to start going to therapy because they are convinced im depressed. and my arguement against it. nothing. because FUCK IT it would be nice to chat with someone once a week and occasionally take pills which i can then sell off to anyone who actually needs it. and it this way i will make money this summer and my parents will be off my back! ah ha! YOU, YOOOOU
oh and that just reminded me that i am in love with robert deniro.