Thank you speeches as they SHOULD be written...
From the NY Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/pages/movies/oscars/index.html#
Tim Robbins - Actor in a Supporting Role, "Mystic River"
I have to thank Clint Eastwood for making such a powerful film - from what I have heard. I myself have not had a chance to see it. Well, I guess that's not strictly true. I have had a chance - multiple chances in fact. And it's obviously one of those films that you "should" see, but the ads made it look like such a downer. I think somebody gets killed. And I mean really killed, not like "Lord of the Rings" killed. Which, by the way, is a great movie. I saw it twice. Those battle scenes were awesome. I cried. Now that Peter Jackson has shown us what you can do with enough technology, I don't know why anyone would want to see a film like "Mystic River" - which I understand is great. So thanks again to Clint Eastwood for believing in me, and especially to the special-effects wizards who created that Giant Spider. Imagine one of those things tearing the limbs off a grieving Sean Penn. Now that is a movie that I would pay to see.
By Stephen Colbert of "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart"
http://www.nytimes.com/pages/movies/oscars/index.html#
Tim Robbins - Actor in a Supporting Role, "Mystic River"
I have to thank Clint Eastwood for making such a powerful film - from what I have heard. I myself have not had a chance to see it. Well, I guess that's not strictly true. I have had a chance - multiple chances in fact. And it's obviously one of those films that you "should" see, but the ads made it look like such a downer. I think somebody gets killed. And I mean really killed, not like "Lord of the Rings" killed. Which, by the way, is a great movie. I saw it twice. Those battle scenes were awesome. I cried. Now that Peter Jackson has shown us what you can do with enough technology, I don't know why anyone would want to see a film like "Mystic River" - which I understand is great. So thanks again to Clint Eastwood for believing in me, and especially to the special-effects wizards who created that Giant Spider. Imagine one of those things tearing the limbs off a grieving Sean Penn. Now that is a movie that I would pay to see.
By Stephen Colbert of "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart"